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Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
Turtleboy Live is back tonight at 10 PM on the Clarence Woods Emerson Facebook page, sponsored by our good friends at Garage Doors Plus in Quincy. Like them on Facebook to support the turtle.
Joining Uncle Turtleboy and Bret Killoran will be Matty Mo, and obviously we have a lot to talk about. Here’s the agenda….
Now, keep in mind, geriatric washed wannabe gangsta Robert Ciampi, AKA Henry Pills, vowed to come on the program tonight to explain why he’s not a racist despite calling for a KKK revival in Massachusetts.
But then he started changing his tune, saying that he wanted to meet up face to face first to talk “man to man.” We told him no dice, so then he said he’d go live if we called his restaurant where he would be with “20 of my friends coming and then Muslims are African Americans is Spanish so let’s see who the racist is it’s not me my friend so when you have that punk girl and all your fake makeup believes not one of them will give their real name…..”
Something, something, something. Not quite sure what any of that means, but it sounds like he’s calling up some of his imaginary token multicultural friends so he can prove that he’s woke like that.
Then he started telling Clarence to come down to his store to talk with him and his union thugs….
Or was he threatening our union thugs? Hard to tell.
Then he just ranted some more…..
Next thing you know he’s telling Clarence he’s gonna make a man out of him….
Then finally he said he was somehow above coming on our show, because we’d be using him since he’s famous and we’re not….
Meanwhile his page continues to be like a bootleg episode of The Sopranos. Especially when Wanda showed up….
“He might not make it out alive.”
These people think they are living in a bad mob movie. It’s fantastic people watching. This is what we’re dealing with….
The athletic ware, the virgin Mary in the background so they can pretend they’re religious, the haircuts…cliche city dodge.
Newsflash – no one’s scared of you greased up douchebags acting like mobsters. You’re heroin dealers. That’s it. And mobsters have hot wives, not the day shift employees at Sweaty Betty’s….
According to Wanda we’re gonna end up in the river….
Hey Wanda, you’re a wannabe mobster’s sidepiece. Your job is to get cheated on, maintain the household, and never talk back to your geriatric Guido. You don’t get to threaten to throw people in the river.
His boy Chico has connects with Salem PD who are gonna get the dirt on Turtleboy….
Here’s what you’re gonna find – an article written by a parody page called “Turtleboy Sporks” with some unsubstantiated stuff about sexually harassing high school girls. There, I saved you 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, Robert is still insisting how he’s going to prove to everyone that he’s not a huge racist:
And a good way to do that is to call Gupta Patel a “moullinyan”:
Actually that was his prison boy toy Danny D, AKA TJ Facks. But what better way to show the world you’re not an old Italian racist than by using the word Tony Soprano used to call every black guy that tried getting in Meadow’s pants? Seriously? Moulinyan? Try harder to be the walking stereotype you always wished you could be but never could. At the end of the day you run a shitty BYOB restaurant in East Boston, you went to jail for 5 years because you were the mob’s errand boy who got bagged delivering heroin from point A to point B, and you’re too chicken shit scared to come on the show.
Will he come on tonight? Doesn’t matter, because we’re calling him anyway. See you at 10 turtle riders.