We Love You Guys, But Messages Like This Are Some 1984 Shit, Also Need Your Input For Designing Turtleboy Anti-Facebook, Anti-Twitter Shirts

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:








Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.


Clarence Woods Emerson had a nice run since getting back from suspension on June 13 due to this:

Clarence had not been suspended. He’s got over 11,000 followers and the Live shows he broadcasts are as big as our old Facebook was at its peak.

So of course he got suspended for 30 days today for no reason because Facebook is a joke. I really truly hate Facebook. The new guy to follow is Philip V. Prentiss, who will take Clarence’s place for the next 30 days. Click here to follow him.

These companies are run by idiotic children who have absolutely no fucking clue what they’re doing. And they’re destroying their own product by constantly looking for ways to kick their users off of their platform.

But of course no one goes anywhere because Facebook is a monopoly. It’s a monopoly of news and people. And as a media outlet we have no choice but to go to where the news and the people are. It’s like an abusive relationship.

And to illustrate just how much control Facebook has over people’s brains, we present to you this message from the inbox:

I give up. Not sure what else we can do at this point. It’s crazy that Facebook has done this to people. They’ve literally programmed people to believe that they ARE the Internet. If it does not exist on Facebook then it does not exist at all.

Newsflash – we use Facebook to promote OUR WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS!! We only do so because that’s where all the people are. When our Facebook pages get taken down or suspended, the website keeps going.

Also, this…..

Look, we love you people. But you have to actually start looking at shit on our website. We put up a prompt that appears on every blog we have ever published that lets you click on it and go directly to downloading our app that has existed for months now.

The app is awesome. I only read the blog on the app. It’s faster and less intrusive.

Another one we get a lot is “how can I sign up to get an email notification every time you guys publish a blog?” We got you covered there too…..

It appears on the front page after every 5th blog. It’s also along the right hand side of your computer on every blog we publish. We will not spam your email with bullshit. It’s just a straight up notification that a new hot take is available for consumption.

We’re not mad at you people, we just want you to stop letting social media dickbags control what you read on the Internet. If you’re dependent on Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey allowing us to appear in your News Feed then you’re doing the Internet wrong. They own you. And they suck. Don’t let sucky people own you. Control your own destiny.

Anyway, this is just the reality of the world we’re living in now. Anyone who goes against the allowable PC narrative gets demonetized now by Google, Youtube (owned by Google), Facebook, Twitter, and IG (owned by Facebook). It’s happened to far less controversial people than us (Dave Rubin, Ben Shapiro, Sam Harris). Those guys have turned it around by getting their followers to donate. I enjoy the Rubin Report and the Daily Wire so I make a small monthly contribution to them in the name of free speech. And I do it gladly because I feel like I’m sending a big fuck you to these Orwellian cock smoochers who try to silence them by taking away their ability to make money.

This is the model we have to use. I really hate having a PayPal thing on our site because it reminds me of Internet panhandling. But the reality is that when you tell the truth like we do, there are financial consequences for it. And the only way for you people to help us fight back against them is to donate to the Turtle Fund. You have no idea how grateful we are every time we get a donation. It fuels us to keep going because it reminds us that although Facebook and Twitter might not approve of us, you people do. And you don’t want us to stop fighting. No amount is too big or small.



P.S. I think this calls for new t-shirts. We had a company in Waltham we went through who came up with some good ones last year. If anyone can match their prices we’d be interested. I wanna create a shirt where the Turtleboy is pissing on a Facebook and Twitter symbol. Either that or the Turtleboy with the red line through Facebook and Twitter symbols. If you have any other ideas for gear let us know.

16 Comment(s)
  • doucher
    August 24, 2018 at 12:30 am

    I don’t understand why people even use social media in the first place. What real purpose does it even serve? I remember when I had a MySpace page, and to me, social media was just a passing fad.

    It makes me remember “Brain Scratch” from Cowboy Bebop. Just like television, social media “controls people by bombarding them with information until they lose their sense of reality.”

    Mark Zuckerberg now has the basis for a new religion, for social media “has created a people who believe instantly in dramatic fantasies, able to be controlled by tiny dots of light.”

  • Kim Un Jong
    August 23, 2018 at 6:04 am

    Google, Youtube, Fagbook, Twitter, Bing, are so big they should be treated as common carriers and subject to rules like Telecom companies.

  • citypoint
    August 22, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    Never got the whole FakeBook thing.
    Don’t want anyone knowing what I’m doing,had for breakfast or share funny video of my cat.
    Least of all sharing it with some pube stached ex barista in Silicon Valley.

  • Hughbo Mont
    August 22, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    To me the app is worthless because it’s not tied into this comment section of the blog.

  • Brian Albrecht
    August 22, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    LMAO. This isn’t facebooks fault you fucking neanderthals. Its a testament to how fucking dumb your readers are. Thats what happens when your target audience is back wood western mass white trash. Man A1D3N you’ve really let this site go to shit.. How’s that truce with Kevin Lynch going? How’s the facebook lawsuit. How much have you raised in donations to keep this piece of shit afloat? I’ll donate 1000 dollars If Bret Killoran will step in a ring with me for 3 rounds. Thats the Albrecht promise. Just to show how good of a guy I am, i’ll even give him a 40 bag of dope for his troubles to help with the pain.
    #Bret Killoran is a pussy bitch who is scared of me

  • Jack
    August 22, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Need the Turtleboy standing on top of a roadkilled blue Twitter bird

    • Anonymous
      August 25, 2018 at 10:46 pm

      you guys suck massive dick fag bags

  • TJB
    August 22, 2018 at 8:52 am

    FB shows only what goes along with their communist agenda. I got a time out for posting a pic of the previous first “lady” in his natural surroundings. The left is scrambling to cover up crimes by the not~wypipo crowd, crimes are being committed faster than they can count.

  • Dan
    August 22, 2018 at 2:18 am

    Any chance you guys can update your app? Every time I’m reading a blog, if I happen to turn my phone and the auto rotate kicks in, your app restarts and takes me back to the home screen. Not a huge issue, but a bit of a pain in the ass if you’re halfway through a long article and it kicks you back to start.

    • Y
      August 22, 2018 at 10:26 am

      Yes, this happens to me every time I use the app (via my Samsung Note 8). I basically read everything thru my Chrome app now, but the ads are brutal there; an app update would be very appreciated.
      I just donated again. Thanks.

      • Hughbo Mont
        August 22, 2018 at 1:54 pm

        I use an adblocker browser on my Android tablet. Works fine.

      • Hughbo Mont
        August 22, 2018 at 1:56 pm

        It’s called Free Adblocker Browser. LOL

    • Maude
      August 22, 2018 at 11:55 pm

      Is it really that hard to swipe down and turn off your auto rotate? Lol

  • Benjamin Wallens
    August 22, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Back to the ham radio. Enough of this social media bullshit.
    I want a pissing on Facebook sticker. They’ll be the next quintessential Masshole phenomenon.

  • SMH
    August 21, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    I thought AOL was the Internet until people couldn’t get floppy drives any more, so now it’s Myspace!

    So I was just reading an article on FB where they are now rating people with a score between 0 and 1 as how trustworthy they are. Supposedly, if people make false claims of hate speech and other TOS violations, they will eventually get ignored. When I see it happening to the SJWs, I’ll start believing it.

    • Hughbo Mont
      August 22, 2018 at 2:05 pm

      These woke companies are supposedly fighting so-called fascism ridding the world of fake news which they are the sole source of determining. They’re to stupid to realize the joke’s on them. If nobody sees the bear shitting in the woods then it didn’t happen even though there’s piles of bear shit everywhere is basically what they’re saying.

Comment on this Post


Who Are Top 20 Most Annoying Facebook Posters?
Woman On Facebook Really Hates Super Chinese Buffet In Worcester, Writes Magnificent Comments On Facebook
Worcester Police Internal Affairs Answered People’s Magnificent Questions On Facebook And It Was Fantastic