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West Warwick, RI is one of the most underrated dumps in New England. They came in at #5 in our official list of the Top 5 Dumpiest Towns in Rhode Island:
It really is a magical place of splendor and enchantment:
Anyway, Turtleboy was fascinated and stayed up late last night reading what is perhaps the most entertaining Facebook commentary ever on the West Warwick, RI Facebook page.
*****************UPDATE ****************
Nathan Harrington surrendered himself and is in custody. Thank you all for your assistance.
NATHAN HARRINGTON born in 1995
On 08-06-2016, West Warwick officers were dispatched to a large disturbance on Robert St. While responding to the scene, information was relayed that an involved individual, identified as Nathan Harrington, had fled the scene in a green Ford Escort. Soon thereafter, this same vehicle struck two parked (unattended) vehicles on Pond St. Harrington did not stop, but continued to drive. Minutes later, officers were dispatched to an address on Main St for an assault that had just occurred. Harrington was identified as the assailant and it was indicated that he had just fled in a green Ford Escort . As officers were responding to that location, they were diverted to a serious accident that had occurred in Phenix Square. Upon arrival, officers found that the same green Ford Escort had crossed over the center line and collided with another vehicle head-on. The collision was such, that an axle was torn from one of the vehicles. Officers learned that the driver of the Escort, once again identified as Nathan Harrington, had left his injured passenger inside the vehicle and fled into a wooded area. Officers checked the area, but they could not locate Harrington. During this investigation, it was learned that Harrington was also wanted by the Coventry Police Department for a Felony assault that had occurred two days before. Along with the Coventry warrant, Harrington is wanted by the West Warwick Police for leaving the scene of an accident resulting in injury, along with numerous traffic related offenses.
If you know where Harrington is, please call the West Warwick Police (821-4323 prompt zero) or the Coventry Police (826-1100 prompt zero).
So this guy is obviously a real winner. The vokestache with the goatee landing strip was a real touch of class. The best part is that his night of passion all happened behind the wheel of a green Ford escort – the official car of white trash everywhere. But seriously, I don’t know why this kid tried to hide. You’re a ginger dude. You’re like the easiest breed of people to find in America.
Oh yea, and the warrant that is out for him in Coventry is apparently for kidnapping a grown ass man:
I’ve never heard of a grown ass man being kidnapped, but then again this Turtleboy does not live in West Warwick. Happens all the time there.
Anyway, the commentary on this post was legendary. Mom made her grand entrance about halfway through:
Classic.
Oh yea, and she’s apparently a nurse:
She also likes to post this inspirational quote a lot:
Which is weird, because apparently she’s already got a man/sperm donor, and his name is Robert Kowalski.
And his commentary was a West Warwick work of art.
“I haven’t fucked anyone but you since 2008.” In West Warwick this qualifies as “romance.”
Robert Kowalski is also the father of Nathan Harrington, and naturally he moved to another beautiful American city after his West Warwick days ran out – Fall River:
Because, of course Fall River.
And it’s pretty shocking that Nathan Harrington would go on a crime spree like this while having an outstanding warrant in Coventry. After all, Robert Kowalski has been the ideal father. Lots of great Dads claim that they will “ride and die forever” with their criminal son:
And I know that Turtleboy often refers to Turtleboy Jr. as “my n word”:
You know what the least surprising part about this is? The Chicago Bulls flat brimmed cap. The official uniform of dooshnozzles everywhere.
He also lives by a strict code:
He is an aspiring model:
He eats at the finest restaurants Rhode Island has to offer:
He’s got a great car:
However, if you talk trash about his baby Momma there will be consequences:
And in case you didn’t see his first post, he will post multiple times a day just so the message is clear:
Anyway, Robert Kowalski OBVIOUSLY had to chime in on the West Warwick Facebook page. And of course he decided to go the route of threatening to kill West Warwick police officers if they attempted to arrest his criminal seed:
Classy!!!
He was far from the only Nathan Harrington supporter though. And almost all of his supporters shared certain characteristics, such as teenage pregnancy, selfies, duck faces, facial piercings, flat brimmed hats, unrestrained machismo, and the English language skills of El Salvadorian villager.
First we found out that Nathan Harrington apparently got a 16 year old pregnant (who may or may not be his cousin)
It’s cool though, because everyone in their immediate circle of friends and family was on board with it:
OF COURSE the mother of a West Warwick 16 year old was on board with Nathan Harrington impregnating her minor child. Gianna would know.
And the best place to try out for Teen Mom in West Warwick is behind a dumpster while you’re holding a blow pop:
It’s every girl’s dream wedding!! Eat your heart out Nicholas Sparks!!!
Anyway, many of Nathan Harrington’s supporters were on the WWPD page posting alibis for him, because apparently those witnesses must have imagined a ginger in a green Ford Escort crashing into multiple cars before running into the woods:
Free my boi!!!
Although sometimes his supporters don’t understand who is supporting them and who isn’t:
Hey Trashly – Ray Colwell was attempting to provide your brother/cousin/future boyfriend with an alibi. He was not in fact snitchin’. Just sayin.
His alibi seems rock solid too. After all, he don’t got a car:
However, Maddie may also be a snitch:
Ouch!!! Some West Warwick drama!!! Is this true? We will have to confirm with Kelsey before reporting for sure!! Maddie is a real winner too:
As is Rene St. Pierre, which is an amazing name for a male:
At first we thought this guy might be bad news. Then we saw the crucifix and realize that he’s clearly a devoted follower of Jesus.
Although my favorite name of his supporters is probably this guy:
Trapboii may in fact be the greatest name of all time. When you see a face like this:
The first thing you think is, “that guy has to be named Trapboii El Chopa.”
Our girl Mary Jane made some strong points too:
Yea, they have no witnesses. Except for all those people who witnessed him smashing into cars on Main Street. If you just look past all of them Mary Jane’s logic is rock solid.
His supporters should probably get their stories straight though. Either it was him or it wasn’t. And if he WAS there, then you should probably go with the Joe Noury defense:
Everyone can relate to that comment. Sometimes you just have to run from the cops. It’s not easy being a West Warwick gangsta, right Joe?
I know Shannon agrees:
Although according to James Forte, it is actually him who the cops are looking for:
Gangsta!!!
But wait, there are more people who have Nathan’s back and they are equally as magnificent!! For instance, Michelle Lee:
The All-Star parenting in West Warwick is what makes it such a fabulous tourist destination.
Anyway, Rhode Island really is a hidden gem of debauchery and hopefully this family never stops running afoul of the law and posting on Facebook because we could read this stuff all day.
P.S. Shoutout to whoever is running the West Warwick PD Facebook page. You the real MVP:
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51 Comment(s)
Of course Trashly couldn’t understand Ray’s comment. It wasn’t written in full ratchet speak.
West Warwick is an inflamed pustule on the rump of central Rhode Island.
These people are what we call ‘white niggers’
Total white trash . . what a life they will have, can’t wait to see these pathetic gutterslugs in another 10 yrs
You know what this site needs? Even more ads. I mean, I can almost make out the story, and the site only crashed three times a minute.
Maybe with more ads you’ll make it totally unusable.
Pure comedy. But srsly. Why didn’t the cops catch him in the beginning? He hit everything and everyone called it in. “Gotta be quicker than that!”
this is garbage journalism, this is why no one takes journalism seriously in 2016, you’re worried posting about facebook drama meanwhile there are thousands of terrible things going on.
I come to Turtle Boy Sports for all of my local and international news. I think he won a pulitzer once.
Do the West Warwick PD take up a collection to bus all these losers to the “Big E” so they can have an easy day once a year? That would explain a lot.
I pity the poor bastards on the West Warwick PD. I pity the poor taxpayers West Warwick.
I thought Worcester was bad but at least these people don’t live here. Forget the wall on the Mexican boarder we need one on the Rhode Island boarder! When do the “White Trash Lives Matter” protests start?
Hey Bobby K, I gots something to say. I’m a server at the Warwick Applebees and I spit in your food every time cuz ur a shitty tipper. What you gunna do bout it?
P.S. Brenda, call me baby girl. You know whats up?
Irritated- 2 things I don’t see when I walk out of my house- an abandoned boat covered with graffiti, and those shit birds living in my neighborhood. So yes, picture perfect.
Check your spelling while you’re at it……..it’s horrible.
Nuclear war can’t come fast enough.
Dont u have anything better to do with ur life then slander everybodu else..get a life buddy..n im sure where u live is just picture perfect
Irritated Mother- are you on the take as well? Are you defending this scum strictly because you you live next door? Here’s my advice, when you get paid on the September 1st, courtesy of me and every other hard working stiff, make a withdrawal from your EBT card, and take a cab out of West Scumbag, RI, and see what picture perfect looks like……it’s called people that work, pay taxes, and have money that they earned on their own. They have people who live in the same neighborhood with the same values and work ethics.
And if you’re really a “mother” don’t help your kids with their spelling homework, they’ll end up like you.
#tiredofscumbagsonthetake
There is definitely a spectrum in RI. On the one side, you have Ivy League scholars, world class restaurants and an amazing art scene. On the other side, you have these guys (#Trump2016).
All I hear is banjo music after reading that article, priceless. That big dumpster fire of a family has enough fuel to burn forever. I’m assuming there’s no college degrees that are associated with these trash bags. Vanilla ice stunt doubles, Voke stashes, calling your son your seed or a racial slur, and I knew there would be a topping off with a Bull’s hat…
Vanilla ice trumped the Bull’s hat though, he kicked it up a notch by threatening the police via social media. I’m sure social media was not an intended use when these scumbags were given the Obama phone, courtesy of the hardworking taxpayers. Great to see Facebook is really policing what gets posted on their site…..
WTF!! I didn’t ask to be the official uniform!!
Guess ‘ Vanilla Ice ” did have offspring. On second thought they couldn’t be, since they’re the real deal here. Bottom-feeders !
“Can’t catch me I’m the GINGERbread man.”
HAHAHAHA PURE GOLD.
Rhode Island. Worst of the worst. Lots of mouth running happening down there I see.
I’m going to start calling my son my seed. It’s quaint.
Hahahaha WWPD used a gingerbread man quote for a ginger, the irony is killing me!!
Anyone else creeped out by the way they are hugging in that photo? It’s one smooch away from being gay.
Urban Dictionary says that “ride or die” is
. to be down with your husband/wife no matter what, through it all the good and the bad. Thats my ride or die …
………….So…. Uh…..
But then again…. They say since 2008… And that’s the biggest damn eight year old I’ve ever seen.
Get the fuck out of here Fiesty crotch!
There are laws… Statutory rape.
Yes, but you’d have to have a willing complainant, and since the girl’s parents seem to ‘approve’, you’d have a hard time getting testimony/evidence against him.
Us taxpayers should be able to be a complainant since we will be raising the poor kid. Talk about starting life with 3 strikes.
The mother only said A-OK b/c she saw more welfare checks in her future.
16 is the age of consent in RI. She’s legal.
Too bad there are not laws to prevent people from breeding.
The black rosaries are jail house ones. Lovely…. They are prayer beads not necklaces!
A nurse..while I know some hardworking lovely CNAs..they are not RNs or LPNs… It is a very short education to become a CNA.
The apple does not fall far from the crabapple tree in this family…
His mother is not a nurse. It clearly says CNA. Please don’t give her credit she doesn’t deserve!
❤️ From Nurses Everywhere.
Don’t you worry about what I do for a living ok! Worry about your own life and clearly you don’t know anything about me so leave your comments to yourself
what is your favorite boone’s farm flavor brenda? asking for a friend…
Boone’s Farm is only drunk on the good side of West Warwick. I like MD 20/20 or Night Train fortified wine’s. More buzz for the $$ on the SNAP card.
Let me tell you all right now!!! I don’t drink,I don’t hang in bars,I don’t do drugs,I work everyday and you all are just showing you have no class!!! I don’t get any assistants so you all just shut your mouths!!! You all look stupid and trashy for the evil things you said. Don’t you all have something better to do? Like get a job
Let me tell you something right now!! We don’t give a fuck about what you do Brenda!
Maybe one day we can all take a 2 day course, with a multiple choice 15 question exam and be a CNA like you….. Maybe, just maybe…
Fuck, I don’t get any assistants either! Where do I sign up for these assistants?
You have any idea how easy it is for anyone to figure out what your career is especially when you’re all over
Facebook encouraging the bad behavior of your childe and all the family dysfunction.
Brenda get me another ginger ale, and I sharted , so you can clean my fucking ass. Calling a CNA a nurse is like calling the college janitor a professor.
ROFLMFAO!!
I’m confused, my boy worked as a janitor at wpi and got a degree, now he’s on his way to become a professor.
How bout dem apples?
Really shocking that such ghetto trash really exists in real life and everything. Some people belong and will always be ghetto and this bunch proves it. Literally worthless trash.
We keep funding these people having Babies – more kids more money 16 years old on welfare already
She’s not 13, she’s 16. And her mother OK’d it. Oh yeah, and she ain’t his cousin! LOL
So it’s all ok y’all… Not trashy at all. I thought they made that shit up on Springer… but, here it is!
I’m pretty sure that this is where Springer gets all his fabulous ‘guests’ 🙂
TB, fuck man, clean up your blogs, half of your pictures don’t show up, same thing happened in your Big E write up.
I retract my previous comment, but your site loads some pics very slowly.
Nah, I thought that was just me.
that would be your computer and speeds from your internet provider. My loads amazingly fast.