Social Justice Warriors

Woke Santa Makes Up Lie About ICE Fingerprinting Friend In Cambridge’s Harvard Square For Being Brown, Thousands Blindly Share It Even Though He Doesn’t Know Friend’s Name And Is Clearly Lying

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Here’s your fake hate crime of the week out of Cambridge……..

No. Just no. That literally never happened. At no point in time was anyone detained and fingerprinted by ICE in the middle of Harvard Square, the mecca of uber-liberalism, simply because they “look like an immigrant.”

He doesn’t even say the name of the individual, because of course he’s a fictional character.

Nevertheless it’s been shared over 3,000 times now, and more and more people are blindly sharing it by the minute…..


THIS is why the country is fucked up right now. THIS is why everyone is so contentious. Not because of Donald Trump. But because people blindly share shit that CLEARLY is not true, simply because it fits their narrative. A narrative that is intentionally divisive and used to create fear.

This is not an endorsement of Donald Trump or his policies either, so don’t get it twisted. This is an endorsement of the truth. We call out liars for a living. And clearly this person is lying. If someone said the same shit about Obamacare doctors forcing you to register for Obamacare in the middle of Harvard Square we’d call out the same bullshit too.

But because all of his friends from Cambridge are actively “resisting” they blindly played along and Woke Santa kept adding to the story….

Oh yea, this totally REAL person who he has not named refused to stand up for this blatant fourth amendment violation in a public square because they feared being deported or jailed or sent to a death camp. Whatever the Nazis are doing these days.

Also, racial profiling….

Those damn French-Canadians!! They get everything!!

Woke Santa was upset that the imaginary ICE agents he allegedly heard about in an unconfirmed anecdote from an unnamed Native American friend weren’t “swarmed and harassed” by the army of white liberals who walk through Cambridge….

He brings up a good point. If this did actually happen in Harvard Square, the woke patrol would’ve been all over this. These are people who follow government officials to restaurants and harass them while eating. Yet they all saw ICE agents fingerprinting a Native American in the middle of a crowded area and no one did shit? It’s almost like this never actually happened.

Some people did have some questions…..

Which of course he could not answer. Because it’s not real.

So why hasn’t his imaginary friend reported this gross violation of privacy?

“I don’t think he wants to put himself out there.”

Yea, because Cambridge is a really hostile place to immigrants and very receptive to ICE. That makes sense.

The most remarkable part about this lie is the fingerprinting. As if ICE stands in the middle of town square with a fingerprinting kit and makes every brown person they see stop what they’re doing and hand over their prints. What would that even prove if they were in fact illegal immigrants? Illegal immigrants are undocumented. Their prints would not be in the system in the first place, right Steve?


Then he just started making shit up about your rights or lack thereof……

No. ICE cannot just detain random people who don’t fingerprint for them in the middle of Harvard Square. You should know that since you’re in the ACLU Woke Santa!!

He wanted to make it very clear – it was JUST brown people:

Bro, there’s a lot of brown people in Harvard Square. There must’ve been an army of ICE agents to fingerprint and detain them all. How did everyone else miss this? How is this one woke white dude on Facebook the only guy who knows about this??

Then he made up more laws to make his lies seem real….

People started sharing this map and ACLU link to prove that what allegedly happened to Woke Santa’s friend was fully legal. Except no one actually read what was in the link (as usual):

Border Patrol, nevertheless, cannot pull anyone over without “reasonable suspicion” of an immigration violation or crime (reasonable suspicion is more than just a “hunch”). Similarly, Border Patrol cannot search vehicles in the 100-mile zone without a warrant or “probable cause” (a reasonable belief, based on the circumstances, that an immigration violation or crime has likely occurred).

Oh look, turns out that this could not have possibly happened. Because it’s illegal. And being brown is not “reasonable suspicion.” If that were true LeBron James would’ve been detained every time he came within 100 miles of the ocean.

The real question Woke Santa wanted to know was, “what can us good white people do to prove we’re one of the good ones?”

Oh yea, I’m sure ICE will be deterred by this man’s “harassment.”

Woke Santa is a grown ass man who still does improv:

He’s so woke he checks his privilege on Christmas!

But he wanted to kick his wokeness up a notch, and the only way to do that was to show his friends that he wanted to be arrested for the cause…..

“I’ll wear that as a badge of honor.”

Bro, try to virtual signal harder. You can’t.

And this imaginary immigrant friend of his also owns an online business that was subject of a DOS attack, and the same unnamed assholes who did that to him also took down his Facebook page for “false claims” because he’s also gay…..

Just keep filling in those oppression checkboxes dude.

I am just so saddened by the fact that people are so willing to blindly believe LIARS like this, simply because it fits their agenda.

Then another ICE hate crime victim came forward with another lie:

And just like the imaginary hate crime victim, she didn’t report what happened to anyone because she was too scared. Which is so convenient. She did do a Facebook post though….

Because….of course she did. This is what liars do. They post shit on Facebook for the likes. Because these people are lying attention whores who are desperate to be patted on the back and told how valued they are.

The bottom line is, if you see someone post something like this on Facebook in this day and age and you don’t question it, you are a moron and I have a horse ranch in Nantucket I’d like to sell you.

P.S. When Woke Santa sees this there is a 1,000% chance he will overlook all of the illogical fallacies we brought up from his story and immediately label us as “alt right, racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.” Because that’s what you do when facts fail you. You make up lies.

11 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    July 6, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    Oh what a shock – an ImprovBoston performer.

    I got dragged to a work event at their little theatre a couple of years ago, and despite my bosses and coworkers belly laughing at their antics, me and one other guy sat there stonefaced the entire time. It was the antithesis of comedy. It furthered my assertion that, while funny people may start in improv, they don’t continue to do it. Improv is comedy for people who aren’t funny. That’s why Conan O’Brien, Tina Fey, Amy Pohler, etc moved on to doing things that are ACTUALLY funny.

  • Masshole
    July 4, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    They don’t even do ink for fingerprinting anymore. This isn’t the 90s. Fingerprinting is done with a machine/computer so there’s no need for ink. If it was a portable, on the spot test, it DEFINITELY wouldn’t be done with ink. They just scan your fingers and you’re done, no ink. That is just another thing that leads to his BS story.

  • Publius
    July 4, 2018 at 10:00 am

    Was Steve Delfino ever arrested for soliciting young boys? a few years ago? maybe arlington?

    • Mary Wealth
      May 9, 2021 at 11:29 am

      Yes, we have digital fingerprinting now, but ink is also still used.

  • swede
    July 4, 2018 at 9:52 am

    I think this guy and his WOKE buddies should hang themselves because of all that white guilt.

  • Been there, done that
    July 4, 2018 at 9:21 am

    The Feds use electronic fingerprinting devices to identify non US citizens coming into this country. These produce immediate results. There’s no way ICE agents are walking around with ink and paper. This guys sucks.

  • The Professor
    The Professor
    July 3, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    I’ve appreciated Turtleboy for exposing corruptocrats, criminals, thieves, fraudsters, ratchets, and scammers of all stripes. Another category emerges: Social Media Liars. These people need to be shamed.

    I don’t use Fecesbook because I would never stop vomiting but I hope that Turtle Riders who do aggressively challenge and shame these shitheads on social media. Their activities are significant contributors to the decline of a once great civilization.

    PS: Steve Delfino. I wish you a nasty case of anal warts. You deserve worse but since you are a stupid person the anal warts are a good enough punishment.

  • Frank Rizzo
    July 3, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Hey Steve, wanna get arrested? Go suck off your boyfriend in the same spot in Harvard Sq. where the ICEMEN got your brown buddy, that might do the trick. But I get the feeling grownups aren’t the types you like to suck off, you must be afraid that the supply of little brown boys that you prefer will run out if ICE does the job properly. Please kill yourself and all that you associate with, what a bunch of fuckin’ pukes. FRANK RIZZO. Oh ya FINN SAYS GET FUCKED

  • Finn
    July 3, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    Steve Delfino,

    “he as fingerprinted [because he was brown] [in Harvard Square].”
    “he has an online business that was shut down with a DOS attack”

    Alex – I take things that didn’t happen for $1000!

    I’m in HS daily — that’s never, ever happened. I have to go between campuses on a daily basis (so I’m not in some building all day) – and I can tell you that it NEVER happens.

    There is a lot of panhandling and a lot of “would you please sign this petition to [social cause of the day]” — especially in the corner of Church and Mass Ave (in front of The Yard), Smith Building, and Chipotle’s (I love their salad bowls). However, I have never ever seen anyone fingerprinted or detained for any reason — even the ones that should be and are just ignored.

    Also rhetorical question for you Steve (I don’t expect an answer because you’re unable to articulate a non-emotional answer) :

    Is this country is so awful (your exact words : “I hate this fucking country”), why are you here and why are you fighting so hard for fake immigrants that don’t get harrassed?

    Get Fucked,

  • Michael Hunt
    Mike Hunt
    July 3, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    This guy needs an elbow dropped on his face.

  • Secret Squirrel
    July 3, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Is this the same fella who was Boston News Net’s Alternative Lifestyles reporter ten years ago on the You Toobs?

    Fits the m.o….

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