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Here’s your fake hate crime of the week out of Cambridge……..

No. Just no. That literally never happened. At no point in time was anyone detained and fingerprinted by ICE in the middle of Harvard Square, the mecca of uber-liberalism, simply because they “look like an immigrant.”

He doesn’t even say the name of the individual, because of course he’s a fictional character.

Nevertheless it’s been shared over 3,000 times now, and more and more people are blindly sharing it by the minute…..

THIS is why the country is fucked up right now. THIS is why everyone is so contentious. Not because of Donald Trump. But because people blindly share shit that CLEARLY is not true, simply because it fits their narrative. A narrative that is intentionally divisive and used to create fear.

This is not an endorsement of Donald Trump or his policies either, so don’t get it twisted. This is an endorsement of the truth. We call out liars for a living. And clearly this person is lying. If someone said the same shit about Obamacare doctors forcing you to register for Obamacare in the middle of Harvard Square we’d call out the same bullshit too.

But because all of his friends from Cambridge are actively “resisting” they blindly played along and Woke Santa kept adding to the story….

Oh yea, this totally REAL person who he has not named refused to stand up for this blatant fourth amendment violation in a public square because they feared being deported or jailed or sent to a death camp. Whatever the Nazis are doing these days.

Also, racial profiling….

Those damn French-Canadians!! They get everything!!

Woke Santa was upset that the imaginary ICE agents he allegedly heard about in an unconfirmed anecdote from an unnamed Native American friend weren’t “swarmed and harassed” by the army of white liberals who walk through Cambridge….

He brings up a good point. If this did actually happen in Harvard Square, the woke patrol would’ve been all over this. These are people who follow government officials to restaurants and harass them while eating. Yet they all saw ICE agents fingerprinting a Native American in the middle of a crowded area and no one did shit? It’s almost like this never actually happened.

Some people did have some questions…..

Which of course he could not answer. Because it’s not real.

So why hasn’t his imaginary friend reported this gross violation of privacy?

“I don’t think he wants to put himself out there.”

Yea, because Cambridge is a really hostile place to immigrants and very receptive to ICE. That makes sense.

The most remarkable part about this lie is the fingerprinting. As if ICE stands in the middle of town square with a fingerprinting kit and makes every brown person they see stop what they’re doing and hand over their prints. What would that even prove if they were in fact illegal immigrants? Illegal immigrants are undocumented. Their prints would not be in the system in the first place, right Steve?

Oops!!

Then he just started making shit up about your rights or lack thereof……

No. ICE cannot just detain random people who don’t fingerprint for them in the middle of Harvard Square. You should know that since you’re in the ACLU Woke Santa!!

He wanted to make it very clear – it was JUST brown people:

Bro, there’s a lot of brown people in Harvard Square. There must’ve been an army of ICE agents to fingerprint and detain them all. How did everyone else miss this? How is this one woke white dude on Facebook the only guy who knows about this??

Then he made up more laws to make his lies seem real….

People started sharing this map and ACLU link to prove that what allegedly happened to Woke Santa’s friend was fully legal. Except no one actually read what was in the link (as usual):

Border Patrol, nevertheless, cannot pull anyone over without “reasonable suspicion” of an immigration violation or crime (reasonable suspicion is more than just a “hunch”). Similarly, Border Patrol cannot search vehicles in the 100-mile zone without a warrant or “probable cause” (a reasonable belief, based on the circumstances, that an immigration violation or crime has likely occurred).

Oh look, turns out that this could not have possibly happened. Because it’s illegal. And being brown is not “reasonable suspicion.” If that were true LeBron James would’ve been detained every time he came within 100 miles of the ocean.

The real question Woke Santa wanted to know was, “what can us good white people do to prove we’re one of the good ones?”

Oh yea, I’m sure ICE will be deterred by this man’s “harassment.”

Woke Santa is a grown ass man who still does improv:

He’s so woke he checks his privilege on Christmas!

But he wanted to kick his wokeness up a notch, and the only way to do that was to show his friends that he wanted to be arrested for the cause…..

“I’ll wear that as a badge of honor.”

Bro, try to virtual signal harder. You can’t.

And this imaginary immigrant friend of his also owns an online business that was subject of a DOS attack, and the same unnamed assholes who did that to him also took down his Facebook page for “false claims” because he’s also gay…..

Just keep filling in those oppression checkboxes dude.

I am just so saddened by the fact that people are so willing to blindly believe LIARS like this, simply because it fits their agenda.

Then another ICE hate crime victim came forward with another lie:

And just like the imaginary hate crime victim, she didn’t report what happened to anyone because she was too scared. Which is so convenient. She did do a Facebook post though….

Because….of course she did. This is what liars do. They post shit on Facebook for the likes. Because these people are lying attention whores who are desperate to be patted on the back and told how valued they are.

The bottom line is, if you see someone post something like this on Facebook in this day and age and you don’t question it, you are a moron and I have a horse ranch in Nantucket I’d like to sell you.

P.S. When Woke Santa sees this there is a 1,000% chance he will overlook all of the illogical fallacies we brought up from his story and immediately label us as “alt right, racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.” Because that’s what you do when facts fail you. You make up lies.