Worcester Cancels School Becuase Of Cold Weather, Grizzled Old Guys Say Hilarious Things About Back In The Day

snow day memes

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So I just saw on the Facebook machine that the Worcester Public Schools and a whole bunch of other school districts have cancelled school for tomorrow. First thing I thought was, “Great, now I have to shovel all that white crap while Turtleboy Jr. and Mrs. Turtleboy drink hot cocoa.” Then I went on my iMachine and found out it’s not even snowing tomorrow. But it is supposed to be -8 degrees tomorrow, because apparently I live in Winnipeg. And that’s not factoring in the wind chill.

Now my first initial take on this was that I was surprised school is cancelled on account of it being cold. I didn’t even know that was something schools did. But my first instinct has been wrong before. Like in Busgate, at first I thought the parents were reacting to an insane bus driver. But first instincts are often moronic. So I thought about it for about five minutes and came to the conclusion that it’s obviously a really good idea to cancel school.


First of all, we haven’t gotten any snow yet this year have we? And it’s January already. I feel like by this point in the past there’s been three or four snow days. So who gives a shit if they cancel school for a day?

Secondly, have you seen what these little Worcester McMuffins wear to school every day? Back in the day the kids whose parents cared about them being the freshest kid at Sullivan Middle made sure their kids didn’t leave home without their Miami Dolphins Starter jacket. But for every one of those kids there were four other kids who jumped off that bus in a t-shirt and blue jeans. Do you understand how dangerous that is?

Thirdly, for all the people crying, “wussification of America,” please calm your nani. Worcester kids are still as tough as they used to be back in your day. The only difference is now they speak Spanish and have cell phones. The city won’t bus them in if they live within two miles. Do you realize how long two miles is? If you live by the Price Chopper on Cambridge St, you live less than two miles from South High. If you live in Tatnuck, you live less than two miles from Doherty. If you live by the Grafton Street Plaza then you live less than two miles from Worcester East Middle. Do you understand what it feels like to walk 1.8 miles in a -15 degree wind chill? It’s like getting punched in the face repeatedly for 40 minutes. So please, for the love of God, get out of my face with all this back in your day nostalgia. I want all of these cold weather heroes to walk a mile in the cold and then stand at a corner for 15 minutes waiting for a bus, and then come and tell me about what wussies kids are these days.

Anyone reading this who lives in a town – pick a town – Uxbridge, Northboro, Holden, Dudley. I’ve driven through these towns while school buses are bringing kids home. They drop every freaking kid off at their home. Ya got that? No bus stops. Door to door service. My bus at Sullivan Middle made three stops. That was it. There had to be 25 kids at each stop. The whole freaking neighborhood assembled at some rallying point and pretty much everyone there lived a mile away. It’s no different today. Drive down Pleasant Street at 7:00 and you’ll see 30 kids at the corner of Russell Street ready to go to school and annoy the shit out of their teachers.

Meanwhile in towns I’ve seen them pull out of a school and drop a kid off a block away. THAT is wussification of America. But protecting little Worcester McMuffins from getting punched in the face by mother nature is NOT the wussification of America.


Lastly, how is this possibly affecting you in a negative way if school is closed? Because I’m gonna be honest – it seems like these people are more angry that THEY had to walk to the school in the freezing cold a couple times back in 83. Uphill both ways!! And now since that sucked so much for them the children of 2015 should have to get punched in the face too.

The people complaining about this are the SAME people who will bitch and whine on Facebook about school buses filled with Worcester’s little treasures getting in the way of their morning commute. Some people just love to complain. Here are my favorites:

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Yea, that’s why we’re falling behind in education. Right. It has nothing to do with poverty, or shitty parenting, or the fact that other cultures still use caning in school when a kid gets a B-. None of those are factors. The reason that American kids don’t do as well as kids in Singapore on a standardized test is because we’re going to school an extra day in June instead of January.

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Yea, MURICA!! If this guy had to get kicked in the nuts by mother nature then logically so should these kids today.

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Newsflash – other countries laugh at us all the time. Doesn’t matter. America’s the best, so we always get the last laugh. France laughs at us all the time and then we always end up bailing their ass out when Germany starts kicking their ass. Also, the school year is still the exact same amount of days. Net learning remains the same.

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Windows huh? I never thought of that before. Because windows can DEFINITELY protect Worcester’s little ragamuffins from the -15 wind chill while they walk 1.9 miles to school.

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Yea, Laila here was a God damn eskimo. I’m sure she definitely walked to school in two feet of school. Definitely.

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Hey genius – when you’re an adult you get to drive to work. Cars have this awesome thing called “heat.” A 13 year old kid from Great Brook Valley has his hand-me-down Wu Tang t-shirt and a pair of windbreakers.

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I love this argument. What does Melinda Boone make, about $190k? On what planet am I living where the CEO, who oversees thousands of employees, and tens of thousands of students, is overpaid at that salary? Do you understand what you would be paid in the private sector if you were in charge of that many people? Yea, we should pay superintendents $30K a year, because your job sucks and you’re miserable. That makes TONS of sense.

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Yea, that’s pretty sound logic right there. Kids who live in Alaska supposedly go to school in weather like this. Therefore kids in Worcester should too. Because everyone knows that Alaska is the state we should model ourselves after. And why is it always little Johnny and Susie? Seriously, can we get a more urban version of this? Or at least an up to date suburban version? Can’t we call them little Morgan and Jayden now? Or Juan and LaPrincess if they live in the city?

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Holy shit how old is this guy? Harrington Way Jr. High? Boy’s trade? LOL. I’ll bet you my turtle that this is one of those guys who goes to the YMCA every day for the sole purpose of standing around buck naked for three hours with two other old dudes talking about the way things used to be. I love when people just start making up their own facts too, it’s priceless. Every kid in Worcester gets picked up at their house. Right.

The bottom line is, why does everyone want these kids to go to school so badly tomorrow? Like do you get enjoyment out of driving by a bus stop and seeing a bunch of kids standing in the cold getting their ass kicked by mother nature? Is that fun for you? Because I’ve been that kid at the bus stop before. It sucks. The logic that these kids should have to go through that because life sucked for you one day back in 74 is classic Worcester.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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28 Comment(s)
  • March 1, 2016 at 8:39 am

    A half hour later, I came back and he sends me a message
    saying, “It took you a long time to finish your shower. More often than not, a list of awards and achievements will make you come out as an intimidating, or worse, overbearing individual. He was furious about me going out with another guy on his birthday, but it wasn’t like he and I were in a relationship.

  • timbo60
    January 10, 2015 at 5:24 pm


  • Dee Nutz
    January 8, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    Put your little turtle head back into your shell you splooge stain

  • Andrew
    January 8, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    They’re canceling likely also because last year when it was this cold, pipes burst at one of the schools and children were sick from heating systems which couldn’t keep up. The budget nowadays for the schools are not covering the costs. There are states that can’t handle an inch of snow and people are complaining that taking a day off for extreme cold makes all our kids wimps?

  • john doe
    January 8, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    wow we’re missing one day of school, big whoop, gives us a break, we won’t die if we miss one day of school,

  • Linda
    January 8, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    maybe they canceled schools because the busses don’t always turn on due to it also being really cold, so if the busses dont run and the children are standing there for no reason waiting for the bus that wont come, whats the fucking point lmao

  • Amen
    January 8, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    The delay is so they can have time to test the buses and see if they can get them going in the cold. Maybe also so they can have time to get the heat and stuff going in the school without the janitors having to come in 4 hours early.

    The people flipping out like it’s a free day off are just stupid. They MAKE UP THESE DAYS in June. It’s not like they just get the day off. It’s just changed to a different day. Who cares?

    And it’s so true that if you work in the Worcester schools for even one day, you will see that half of these kids don’t own a jacket, let alone mittens or a hat. A scarf and boots? Please. Most of them have no socks under their falling-apart sneakers.

    I agree that helicopter parents suck. But some of these new “wussy” changes are here for a reason. Why don’t we ride in the back of pick-up trucks anymore? Yes, MOST of us survived doing it. But SOME did not. Kids and adults have died doing that. That’s why it’s not allowed anymore. Why don’t we let our 6 year-olds run all over the city until dark anymore? Because most of us survived doing so, but some did not. We were lucky. Other kids got raped, beat up, or kidnapped doing it. So, shocker! That’s why we don’t let them do that anymore. We’ve LEARNED from those that weren’t so lucky.

    Yay for you guys who survived this cold – you’re so manly. But wait til your kid is the one who loses 3 fingers from frostbite and you’d be the first one suing the city.

    And I love the comment above, which is so true — superintendents can’t win. If they had school today, they’d be getting yelled at for that too. Either way, someone’s going to be disgruntled. I swear some people live to find things to be mad about. Such drama.

  • ADD
    January 8, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I understand cancelling school, but what is the point of a delay? Same scenario, different time. I’m not bitching but really am curious about the point.

  • Jj
    January 8, 2015 at 1:34 am

    It’s funny, turtleboy, how you say that ‘some people just love to complain’ when all you’ve done in this whole article is complain about those complaining. Good job, jackass

  • Nik
    January 8, 2015 at 12:26 am

    I think the only people who have a valid reason to speak out about the school closing are the families who now have to figure out who will watch their kid(s). The very kids who are most at risk for walking to school with inadequate clothing are likely the same ones with parents who might not be able to afford hiring someone or missing work.

  • Richard
    January 7, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    now all the kids can stay home from school and watch ”Frozen” 52 times in a row lmao

  • Matt
    January 7, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    I can’t hate on the Woo schools for this because in all honesty, my car probably won’t start tomorrow morning and I’ll have to ‘work from home’ bahaha

  • Dee nutZ
    January 7, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    will your little turtle nuts shrivel up and fall off tomorrow you ragmcfuffin

  • Phillip
    January 7, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    Love the article….the only sound reason for parents to want these kids to go to school all day is so they don’t have to make excuses when the kids stay home and see what dead beats they are.

  • Melanie Curran
    January 7, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Best fricking article I’ve read all week. Excellent job telling it how it is. I worked for Worcester Public Schools (Sullivan!) for 14 years. Now a guidance counselor for Southbridge. Keep telling the truth of how it really is for our kids nowadays. Kudos.

    • L
      January 8, 2015 at 7:58 am

      I am a student of spencer-east brookfield public schools. During school yesterday when I heard people saying that they might cancel school I thought it was ridiculous. But then I walked home at 4:30 after practice and with the windchill, it was probably around 0 degrees. I was shivering uncontrollably and could not feel my hands or my face. Then I realized that it might be a better idea to cancel school. I live very close to my school, but others who walk have to walk 2 miles or less. That’s about 40 minutes. You can get frostbite in this now -15 degree weather within 10 minutes. This is why they cancelled school.

  • Lori
    January 7, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    These people who went to school everyday regardless of the weather, obviously didn’t learn a damned thing about the English language.
    This generation of “wussies” needs to miss some days because they’re already smarter than their providers!
    What a ridiculous reason to be pissed!

  • Sherinda
    January 7, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    THANK YOU for jumping on to write this so I can SHARE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. My newsfeed was all over the place- people saying school was cancelled and then people bitching! I work in a worc school and I have had to “re-clothe” so many kids who walk to school those 1.8 miles because their clothes are soaked- and that’s on warm days when their walking through melting snow, not this below zero crap that people won’t even let their little dogs out into. No, I’m glad they cancelled, if Melinda didn’t cancel she’d be hearing it all on the other end when these same people are calling her an ass for forcing the kids to go out.

  • Tammy
    January 7, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    good story! Made me laugh, waiting for the bus in high school sucked. I’m glad I don’t need to send my kids out in the cold. Most likely the ones complaining don’t have a babysitter lined up. I understand it’s tough but as a working single mother you do what you need to do. Call the babysitter and deal with it

  • Kristin
    January 7, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    Lmao,…….. you look like such a douche!!! HMMMM…..write a comment due to the fact that he misspelled the word BECAUSE, and you turn around and spell it wrong! That is hilarious…….. DUMBASS!!!

  • Kay
    January 7, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    love reading your articles
    I agree with you but there is one piece where you are wrong. The towns do have ridiculous stops every other house for s bus. But kids that live in a 2 mile radius of the schools still have to walk.

    • Sherinda
      January 7, 2015 at 7:51 pm

      Actually a lot of those towns the parents can opt to pay to take the bus when they live within the 2 miles. Not even close to an option for worc

      • Kay
        January 7, 2015 at 9:42 pm

        Actually they don’t. Maybe years ago but with budget cuts its not an option. I live in inr of the mentioned towns and have family who live in 2 other mentioned towns. Less than 3 miles you walk. Bus is not an option.

  • Jay
    January 7, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    How the fuck do you spell the word “becaus wrong in a fucking headline? Can’t take you serious if you are that dumb.

    • mike
      January 7, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      Now you spelled the word wrong idiot

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 7, 2015 at 7:56 pm

      That’s all you got out of this? Poor soul.

    • Mia
      January 7, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      You forgot to close your quotation; perhaps you are leaving us in suspense.

    • G
      January 7, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      If you’re going to criticize someone for spelling something wrong, make sure you spell it correctly yourself.

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