Hoodrat Heroes

Worcester Rap Video Featuring Strung Out Main South Strippers In Abandoned Parking Lots Is So Worcester It Hurts

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We’ve seen a lot of hilarious Worcester rap videos, but we haven’t seen anything quite like the music from a butturt Turtleboy critic who thinks we are hate speech but still wanted to pay us to advertise his music on our site:

Oh. My. God.

That is the most Worcester thing these eyes have ever seen. It appears to be a SJW lip syncing over some auto tuning that a machine did while a bunch of Main South spunk guzzlers try to get vagrants to purchase a lap dance with their food stamps. And his main sidepiece just kind of attempted to stay conscious and let the Molly do the rest….

It starts off with a limo in the only a place a limo belongs – a back alley surrounded by overgrown weeds and broken dreams.

Apparently the stars of the video were doing something they never got to do in high school – go to the prom. Because you have to make it to senior year to go to the prom.

Everyone knows that when producing a rap video you have to have hot babes. But since it’s Worcester, you take what you can get from last call at Moynihan’s. There was Track Mark Tracy popping a squat:

Junkbox Julia strutting her stuff with a bunch of guys from the VFW building up material for the spank bank…

Gonorrhea Gabbi

GED Jenny

Hepatitis Holly

Chastity Cheesehog

and of course GED Jenny.

In other words, it’s the Holy Name class of 03 reunion.

And it wouldn’t be a Worcester parking lot rap video without a swimsuit competition!!

Sweaty Betty’s here we come!!

So yea, this is the crowd that thinks Turtleboy is hate speech. Grown man aspiring rappers who exploit drug addicted crackwhores by giving them food stamps to trade in for what little amount of dignity they have left.

26 Comment(s)
  • J-rock
    May 14, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    He has the video back up on YouTube. Also lists ALLL the girls in the videos by their name. Also a lot of great stuff with his drug whore, Paige. And terrible music

  • Finn
    May 14, 2018 at 11:44 am

    Nice prison dreads dummy.

    Before you hire your next batch of [Betty] Ford models, you might want to give them some general guidelines :

    1. Pay for the “full” brazilian wax – it’s worth it.
    2. Baby wipes are your friend – especially when wearing thongs.
    3. No more “can’t-afford-finish-my-ink” tattoos. Rachet.

    Other than that – they’re stunned (spelling stays).

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • Cauliflower Cam
    May 13, 2018 at 6:22 pm

    What shift does Junkbox Julia typically work?

    Asking for a friend

    • J-rawkkkk
      May 14, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      You can find her on Instagram by searching Alex yian

  • Yuck
    May 13, 2018 at 10:29 am

    When you measure success by the number of crack whores and fat chicks in your video, you have failed. God god almighty, I hope I didn’t just contract some type of VD by reading this post!

  • Weebles wobble
    May 12, 2018 at 2:38 pm

    Main south bookers or the Riviera day crew?

  • Frank Rizzo
    May 12, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    ScumBag and the SkagBags, the ass in the red thong, I’m dyin’ here pissin my pants laffin!!!!

    • ninja turtleboy
      May 12, 2018 at 2:01 pm

      the ass in the black bodysuit! all lopsided and flat. sis needs some squats and the rest need detox

    • Ginger Grumby
      May 12, 2018 at 7:11 pm

      Computer gets an STD from this story, red thong looks like something isn’t covered.

      Skank Fest!!

  • Rethink this one
    May 12, 2018 at 11:22 am

    You’re not winning hearts and minds with this shit Turtleboy. I love the blog and hope that you go the distance but this is a perfect example of why nobody will feel bad for you if you don’t make it.

  • whatevuh
    May 12, 2018 at 11:02 am

    The title of the video should be “Bottom Feeders, lowest of the low”

  • Bow wow
    May 12, 2018 at 10:46 am

    He drives off at the end with the ugliest chick of em all. It looks like a four year old colored all over her with a dull sharpie. I’m guessing she is your bottom

  • TJB
    May 12, 2018 at 10:32 am

    Zithromax. ZPACK. for Cathy Chlamydia. And Valerie vaginal warts. And Lucy lesions. And Mary, Mary, cunt so hairy.

  • bigdaddy
    May 12, 2018 at 10:10 am

    Are you sure its Worcester ? Could be Southbridge Webster Ware Fitchburg Fall River So many garden spots in this state to choose from

  • DirtyOldMan
    May 12, 2018 at 9:25 am

    The girl in the YouTube video title screenshot, the first picture posted in this blog, is so out of place. A cute, innocent-looking, girl-next-door type.

    I hope she’s not a crack whore. I like her.

  • Clitty Litter
    May 12, 2018 at 7:45 am

    I just spit coffee all over the screen.

    • Mom’s Basement
      May 12, 2018 at 11:34 am

      You sure it was coffee? Have some control son and remember paper towels, never toilet paper unless you want it to look like a mummy.

  • Not while I am eating man.
    May 12, 2018 at 5:05 am

    Why the fuck wasn’t there a “WARNING!! OPEN VIDEO AT OWN RISK” ?
    C’mon man. I had just opened box of count chocula, sat down with bowl and turned on video as I poured milk. You ruined my healthy choice moment. What the fuck is up with page rolling and all old stories popping by when I am trying to leave my valued opinion too? Making it hard to read these stories and comment. This Saturday is turning to shit man.

  • Somebody run this guy over
    May 11, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    Why the fuck did I just watch that shit.Somebody pass me the bleach so I can wash my eyes out.I really want to unsee that shit.

  • AgT
    May 11, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Punk azz biatch, I know Ill make it longer than your dumb ass. My honeys is my honeys, they luvz all AT. And they gets paid. Foreign concept to you and your imaginary blog staff. Pretty lame to be knockin these fine azz ladies, say what you want, theyz all good girls, in school, some degree’d. Talk about Pre-judge(ice) as your Dave Rubin hero states, the Turtle, “wishes he could get off to the sound of his own voice, wouldn’t that be awesome?” Yes, for Mr. Big Blog. LMAO. Sorry pal, we do us, you do you, at least until your begging on Paypal comes to a close.

    • Two tits a hole and heartbeat
      May 12, 2018 at 6:43 am

      “GOOD” girls lmao!!!! That’s funny as hell. That chick at the end in fishnets has the most deformed looking ass, squats would help with that. And as for Hepatitis Holly, she’s looks like a dude in drag. How much dope did It cost you for all these “GOOD” girls to do your video? Cause you aren’t fooling anyone with that shit.

    • K
      May 14, 2018 at 12:45 am

      There are about two females in this video that are good looking. And they are in the very beginning. I didn’t watch the video I just saw the pictures posted. The rest no offense homie look like crackheads. Then you come on here trying to defend your rap video LOL I could have made that video myself. Where did you get that limo? 1986? If you paid for that mess you got ripped off. Please don’t say these females are all educated. If they were educated and had some sort of life they would not be in some no name rappers video rolling around by used heroin needles. No real video vixen would ever do a video like this. Keep it real with yourself. I didn’t expect much from a Massachusetts rapper anyway.

      • Finn
        May 14, 2018 at 10:43 pm

        K,

        You had me until, ” I didn’t expect much from a Massachusetts rapper anyway.”.

        Yeah, Massachusetts doesn’t turn out many musicians (kind of like our schools). Oh, unless you include Aerosmith, James Taylor, Donna Summer, The Cars, J. Geils Band, Boston, Dropkick Murphys (my fave), Guster, Guru, Slain, etc.

        I think you just like shit-stirring.

  • Worcester Is A Pit Of Despair
    May 11, 2018 at 10:59 pm

    “Junkbox Julia strutting her stuff with a bunch of guys from the VFW building up material for the spank bank…” Heh, I like that.

    Not for nothing but it’s a fairly catchy tune, even if the video resembled something out of junior high A/V class

  • Scott
    May 11, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    Holy fuck I’m sure I got an std just watching that. I’m gonna go set my phone and eyes on fire now after drinking a gallon of bleach.

  • Steve
    May 11, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    Dude sucks hope your t/shirt and other ventures work out. because you can’t rap for shit. But then all rap is shit Oh. Ya. Don’t poke the turtle unless you can back ya shit up.

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