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Worcester’s Top 15 Cut Through Streets For 2015

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So a few weeks back we did a blog on the five worst streets in Worcester. It was all the rage because apparently people in Worcester like to know that someone else feels their pain when it comes to bullshit traffic we’ve all dealt with before. Personally, I never use Cambridge, Highland, Grafton, Main, or Park Ave because that sounds about as fun as an 1850 abortion. Mrs. Turtleboy HATES when I do this because it seems like I’m making a million turns and playing dodge-a-hoodrat. But little does she know how much time I’ve saved over the years. So I realized it was time for our next traffic blog – The Top 15 Best Cut Through Streets In Worcester for 2015.

Quick disclaimer. I realize that this blog might be shooting myself in the foot because ironically if this blog gets a lot of traffic then so will the cut through streets. I apologize if it’s widely read and thousands of idiots start driving on your favorite short cut. Chances are they won’t though, because at the end of the day people are lemmings. For 95% of Americans when they see a long line they stand in it. They never think, “hmm I wonder what happens if I go this way?” That’s what separates the wolves from the sheep. Wolves already know about all these streets. Sheep will read this and then forget all about it. So without further adieu, here are the top 15 for 2015:

15. Dewey St. 


Anything that runs parallel to Park Ave is alright by me. Sure you will occasionally have rocks thrown at your car, or see the Kelley Square night shift sign guy taking a nap in an alley, or look at this monstrosity and say, “what the fuck is that thing?”


But the street does it’s job and helps you avoid the worst light in Worcester at the corner of Park Ave and Chandler.



14. Coolidge Rd


My deepest apologies to my friends who live on Coolidge Rd, but your street is awesome. Not only does it help me avoid both the Pleasant and Chandler Street lights on Park Ave, but it’s also deliciously wide and pleasant to look at.



13. Coburn Ave


What’s not to like about this street? You know what light really, really sucks? The one at Lake Ave and Belmont. But what if I’m just trying to get over to Lake Park for a romantic walk with Mrs. Turtleboy before she has to get home for the three hour premiere of The Bachelor? We don’t have time to waste sitting in place at that clusterfuck. So that’s why Coburn is so awesome. They don’t make roads this orgasmically straight in Worcester. So while you’re staring at some idiot who won’t turn right on red at Men’s Warehouse, I’ll finishing up my lovely promenade with Mrs. Turtleboy.



12. Gates Lane/Burger King


Let’s suppose you wanna get from Mill Street to Leicester. How you getting there? 95% of the morons out there would be staring at the light you see pictured above on Park Ave. It is the second of four lights you can skip with my method. There are two way around this. Option A is only for people with cars that aren’t powered by olive oil and covered in Elizabeth Warren bumper stickers. If you have a car that actually has some sack, then Gates Lane is for you:


Sure you will find better streets in Fallujah, but if this street didn’t look like it was just attacked by NATO drones then everyone would use it and it wouldn’t be nearly as fun:


However, if you are from Cambridge and you drive one of those Urkel-mobiles with a Coexist bumper sticker, then you can still forgo a couple lights by using a short cut that anyone who ever graduated from South High is familiar with – Burger King:


That light where Main, Stafford, and Park Ave intersect sucks big ones. So the key is taking the right hand turn into Burger King. Just make sure you say out loud for the record, “Let’s get some Burger King.” Then when you pull in make sure you say, “Nah, I changed my mind, I’m just gonna get Subway” before pulling out. Otherwise it’s illegal.



11. Chelsea St


Everyone knows how much that light at Cambridge and Southbridge Street blows. You’ll be there all day. One of the easiest shortcuts you’ll ever take is Chelsea St. It’s easier if you’re coming from Cambridge St, but even if you’re not all you have to do is bang a quick left off of Southbridge, and then a quick right onto Chelsea,



and then your reward is an even bigger clusterfuck on Cambridge St. Don’t worry, we have a short cut for that later on.


10. Sunderland Rd

10881639_1517996091817002_1553047087041741175_n (1)

If you’ve lived your life on the West Side then you probably have no idea this street even exists. But if you’re an East Sider then you know that driving down Grafton Street is about as fun as reading one of Apple Daddy’s blogs from the Daddy Files. Kill me now. This street is pretty awesome. No one’s ever on it, and it’s got those double yellow lines which means it’s OK to go 40 mph. At the end you pull up onto Massassoit Rd, bang a left onto Heywood, and you’ve just avoided all of Grafton Street in it’s entirety. Unfortunately your reward is Vernon Street, but it’s still better than the alternative.




9. Whipple St


This one is so underrated. Mrs. Turtleboy HATES it, but once again, I’ll do anything to avoid Cambridge St, and that’s exactly what this does. Anyone growing up in Quinsigamond Village knows about Whipple Street. It’s how you get to high school.


It probably adds on a mile or two to your trip with all these Goddamn twists and turns


and I’m pretty sure you go through Auburn at some point, but it will take you to the promise land of College street eventually.



8. Sagamore Rd/Beechmont St/Haviland St


This shortcut is so well known that THE MAN does everything in their power to make you don’t use it. I just wanna say that those no left hand turn from 7-9 AM signs are complete bullshit. Yea, there’s gonna be a lot of traffic from sheisters like me who wanna get where I’m going quickly. Don’t like it? Don’t buy a house on that street then. Problem solved. It’s like moving to East Boston and complaining that the planes are too loud. I consider Haviland and Beechmont borderline major roads. I mean, look at the girth we’re working with here:


Beechmont St. So hot right now.

From there you just bang a quick right onto Salisbury St, and then a quick left onto whatever street this is


before heading down Sagamore


and then – boom – you’re at the Greendale Mall in time to see all the empty stores that used to be there when you were younger.



7. Crystal St



Try to use this short cut during the day. There is no Turtleboy warranty, so if you get attacked by zombie prostitutes doing their slum sociable when you pass dead hooker pond at night, don’t say I didn’t warn you. But this cut through is so scrumptious because, a) no one’s ever on it, and b) you avoid the gigantic orgy known as Webster Square.



6. Barre Rd Extension/Chester St


There isn’t a Jew in Worcester that doesn’t know this shortcut. If you wanna go from pretty much anywhere on the West Side to 190, you’re insane if you’re not taking this way. It might seem like a pain in the ass because there’s so many turns and stop signs, but what’s your other option? Go down to Park Ave to Gold Star Boulevard like an IDIOT? LOL. Let’s just say you’re coming back from another successful trip from the Greendale Mall and wanna get back to Tatnuck. No problem. Head down Shore Drive


up Drummond St



bang a quick left onto 122A, then a quick right onto Chester


10897769_1517994511817160_6016444812323760917_nonce you get to this fun intersection bang a left


then bang a right


then a sharp right


then a sharp left


then a left onto Lynwood


and you’ll be at the JCC in time for Rosh Hashanah.



5. Lovell St


In case you haven’t noticed yet avoiding Park Ave is the most important part of driving in Worcester. No road does a better job of that than Lovell St. My only beef with it is this God-forsaken rotary:


I don’t know who the genius is that all of a sudden started to put these things on streets that were perfectly fine as they were, but there’s a special place in hell for them. Other than that Lovell St is nothing but open road that helps you avoid both Park Ave and June St.



4. Lancaster St


This street is a gift from God. You know what sucks? Driving through 35 red lights from Highland to Main St. Suppose you wanted to get from Salisbury Street to Kelley Square. It would be a complete nightmare if it weren’t for this magical three lane road that takes you from Salisbury St to Chandler.



3. Clover St


I don’t know if it’s possible to live in Webster Square and not use this street every single day of your life. But for whatever reason morons love to stay on the main road because that’s what their iMachines are telling them to do. I don’t need the iMachine, because I have Clover Street. So while all the idiots are driving down Heard Street into Auburn, and waiting at that Goddamn stop sign for an hour to turn left onto Webster Street, I’m cruising down this bad boy:


Suppose you live in Webster Square and you wanna get to 290 east. Guess where you’re iMachine is taking you? LOL. Cambridge street!!! You lose!!! Meanwhile Turtleboy is banging a quick left off of Knox Street, stopping at the Donut Express, and still beating you to the highway.



2. Airport Rd/Goddard Memorial


God do I love this street. Look at all that sweet, beautiful pavement full of dotted lines. The only reason it’s not ranked #1 is because of this Goddamn thing:


There are a lot of stupid lights in Worcester, but this one takes the cake. It’s there for when TJMaxx lets the day shift people out, but why the hell does it run all night? You know how fast I go on this freaking road? The last thing I wanna do is stop and sit at a red light for no reason at all so an empty parking lot can let imaginary people cut me off.

Seriously though, if you’re going from the West Side to the the South Side of the city this is the only way you should ever go. It boggles my mind that more people don’t use it. Sure you might get stuck behind some soccer Mom at the beginning


but once you get to the top of the hill you get the satisfaction of blowing by them and nodding your head in disapproval.


Unfortunately I got my first ticket and totaled my first car on this road due to the fact that it’s the Goddamn Worcester version of the autobahn. It was worth it.


1. Institute Rd


How can it not be Institute Rd? Nothing proves that man is still in the process of evolving from apes more than Highland Street does. It boggles my mind that people choose to sit there dodging WPI hipsters going to get their frozen yogurt, when all they have to do is head up any side street to drive on a parallel road that has absolutely no one on it ever. I mean, just look at this prim looking star gazer:


Gave me a little Institute Road in my pants just looking at it.

I realize I might’ve just fucked myself over by writing this, but if it helps someone out there get where they’re going faster then it was all worth it. Sometimes you’ve just gotta ride the turtle.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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25 Comment(s)
  • Dan MacConnell
    January 8, 2015 at 8:49 am

    Nice list, most of my favs are there. Particularly Lovell and Chester, so I can get in and out of the west side, you know, where all the Jews live.
    Only drag was your disrespect (or was that “humor”) of other people’s house of worship (Dewey St) or their religious background (every Jew on Worcester? Really? GFY) Sometimes bloggers should keep certain opinions to themselves.

  • Dodie
    January 7, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    I doubt that many people appreciate you using their quiet back street as a fast cut through. All these people bought houses I these areas so they get to watch you race thru their neighborhood to save a few min drive time. Have you asked them how they feel?

    • Vanderbooger
      January 7, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      Have they said thank you for the tax dollars that pave their public roads?

      • Deb
        January 7, 2015 at 8:36 pm

        Well actually, when they paved Clover St., the city decided to pave it, deemed that it was a private road, and put the huge cost of paving it on the shoulders of the few houses residing on that stretch. My neighbor received a letter stating he owed $12,000! Maybe the drivers who use it as a cut-through should be thanking those residents because it certainly didn’t get paid for with tax dollars.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 7, 2015 at 8:55 pm


  • jay
    January 7, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Good list. As someone who sadly spends more time behind the windsheid than the boob tube, i could talk about this all day.. so any street that cuts across, has less J walkers, or runs parallel between park and main, highland and pleasant, chandler and pleasant and may, (florence, king, austin, peidmont, fruit, list goes on and on) jackson st is a wonderful multi optional st, itll get u from either tata bar to suneys or any park ave bar in mins with a cpl lefts and rights. U missed burncoat and lincoln st short cuts. U can easily get lost behind burncoat but with a little practice or a map, u can aviod the bumper to bumper stop and go. Lastly and maybe most importantly, MILL ST-LEICESTER, take mill towards tatnuck sq, left onto airport hill, right towards actual airport, left on that (now) oneway. Stay straight (left) onto bailey/marshall st, left at the stop sign onto 56, and WHAMMI, ur at annies on a weds getting 4 sm hotdogs with little to no toppings.

  • January 7, 2015 at 9:01 am

    Very, very well done article! I appreciate the research and the the detailed pics. Initially I thought you would be avoiding some of my favorites (Barry Rd/West Chester), but I was relieved to see otherwise

    a) Cambridge Street— is not that bad. It is a necessary street (like Belmont). Neither is Park Ave (how can you not want the convenience all the food, gas and pharmacies there?), but I had a cab drive a few years ago from Elm Park to Webster Square and the cabbie swiftly went Hudson-Mason-Dewey and I use that route every once in a while myself.

    b) I disagree on roads like Clover, the road quality sucks. Gates Lane is another bad road most people would rather not take.

    c) Airport Road–my jogging route. Interesting choice. I grew up over there and have see n that road from barely used (late 1970s) to heavy morning traffic now). It is a very, very convenient road and I imagine folks from Tatnuck or places like Paxton-Rutland use that one often. Not too mention the frequency of TJ MAxx people.

    d) Sunderland Road—not the fastest route and it ices up dangerously at this time of year.

    • Lisa
      January 7, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      Isnt there a 3 to 11 Shift at tjmaxx or even overnight?? Not sure but really think there is a 3-11!!!

  • Benjamin Dover
    January 7, 2015 at 8:48 am

    Good stuff but your attempts to avoid webster sq reak of amature hour and youre bettet than that turtle boy. First off gates lane reall? You either wind up at the light bext to the elementary school which can get horrible or youre stuck at the cluster fuck by DD’S and liberty tax. Instead i suggest you save your suspension and slide down the street to lake wood go 3/4 of the way, take the right up w lake and left down arbor vitea and bam youre on the far side of bk and theres no light. Now if you want to completly avoid the whole sq i would strongly suggest you just man up and go first st. Follow the hill all the way to the top take the no municipal vehicles cut through and depending on the depth of the lake either go around pelican or just trudge right through. Proceed to wildwood ave bang a left all the way down and your a left and a right from rt 9. First street is by far the fastest way to avoid both tatnuck and webster sq while getting from june st to rt 9.

    Just my thoughts

    • Benjamin Dover
      January 7, 2015 at 8:51 am

      Also that was written on a phone so sorry about the typos

    • John Clark sucks
      January 7, 2015 at 4:40 pm

      Preach! Preach! First st to wildwood is easily the fastest way from anywhere west side to auburn. Then again the time you save will be spent at work paying for an alignment every other time you take it.

  • Victoria
    January 7, 2015 at 5:26 am

    I better not be in a crosswalk with my kid and dog in the school zone on Sunderland Road and catch any turtleboys going 40mph! The speed limit is 30 and goes to 20 in some parts due to lots of curves and also the school zone. I’ve had too many close calls of crossing that road and some jerk going 40+ doesn’t see me. One received a bag of dog poop in flung into the bed of his truck. Others, usually just my unfortunate Worcester accented swears. If you use Sunderland- be careful of the dozens of families who go to the park at Roosevelt school. Thank!

  • Susan
    January 7, 2015 at 3:41 am

    Whipple can get u to cambridge st, Aurburn, Southbridge st. Its a bitch to walk up (didnt go to south but went to voke same thing for Qunisig village) but by far one of the best streets to avoid greenwood st/cambridge/146 lights. Thats a deathtrap/ cluster fuck.

    • Will
      January 7, 2015 at 9:46 am

      Whipple, itself, does not allow you to get to the locations you mentioned. This article was about cut-thru roads being the fastest. I am certain that if we were in route to the Auburn Mall from Village Pizza & I took Upland and you took Whipple (and the three other roads spawning off each other from Whipple) to get only 1/2 way up College Hill to have to then drive the remaining distance up College Road, I would EASILY be at the Mall before you & you’re closer to Whipple from Village Pizza then I am top Upland.

  • Will
    January 6, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Love the list but Whipple is inaccurate. It’s a dead end. Upland goes from Blackstone River Rd to Pakachoag (College St) passing by the Pakachoag golf course and taking a right onto, and another right immediately off of, Curtis! Upland is also the FASTEST way to get from Walmart off 146 to the Auburn Mall (if you’ve got more shopping and want to avoid Greendale) by going Upland to Pakachoag. Which is a GREAT cut-thru for people wanting to avoid rush hour Rte 20 traffic!

    • krys
      January 6, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      While, technically youre right, Whipple IS a dead end, there are 2 streets, Epworth and Tennyson st, that run off Whipple, which runs into Davenport st, in which Electric st and Kendig st run off Devenport st right into College St on Pakachog hill…. and will lead you to Auburn Mall or Rotmans/Southbridge st./Crompton st. Pass Chelsea st, go right to Woodward, take a right towards Cambridge st and avoid the clusterfuck of trsffic blocking Chelsea st from 4 corners traffic lights

    • Wabbitt
      January 7, 2015 at 1:01 am

      Dead end or not, Whipple is indeed how we all got to South High from Quinsig Village. I had to trudge up that hill every day to catch my bus to school until I moved sophomore year. Not fun in the freezing ass cold.

  • Tucker
    January 6, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Hammond! How do you dismiss Hammond Street?

    • Bumper Wolfthorn
      January 7, 2015 at 1:04 am

      Because the Hammond, Main, and May street intersection cluster fuck, obviously….

  • Finnish Goalie
    January 6, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    Clover Street is key. You have it about in the spot I’d have placed it too.

    • Deb Mccrohon
      January 7, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      I live at the intersection of Heard and Clover, and ever since they paved the other side of Clover, this intersection has been a nightmare! Everyone speeds down the hill (speed limit is 20mph) toward Auburn and there are so many accidents at this intersection now. The amount of cars that end up on my front lawn has me afraid for my husband’s life and mine if we are out there to mow the lawn or do yard work

      • Finnish Goalie
        January 7, 2015 at 8:53 pm

        Street Hockey was a threat back in the day, that’s for sure.

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