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So the other day the Worcester Police shared this story about 2 drug dealers they arrested, on their Facebook page:

Now, whenever the police share a story like this there are always two types of commenters. The overwhelming majority are the people who say, “great work WPD.” But then there are the small faction of dooshnozzles who chime in with “Free my boy.” These people are almost exclusively 15 year old hardos who think they’re keeping it real.

But with this particular story, it set off a firestorm of supportive comments, because apparently one of these two guys is very well liked – Rashad Minor. We’ll ignore the fact that he’s been arrested for this before, has called Turtleboy Sports a racist blog several times and had to be blocked on our Facebook page, AND is Brenda Jenkins niece. We will forget we know all those things and attempt to look at this objectively. Let’s see if any of the Facebook lawyers can explain to us why this arrest is a miscarriage of justice….

First of all Richie, welcome to the Internet – where everyone is guilty until proven innocent. And even after being proven innocent, you’re still guilty. Luckily for your buddy, Internet court isn’t real court and he still has the presumption of innocence in the courtroom. But please, tell me how you would handle this case if you were his lawyer. He had cocaine, baggies, and cash. That’s like the starter kit for anyone looking into selling drugs. Oh yea, and he consented to the search. If you could possibly explain to me how he’s gonna explain that one in court, we’re all ears.

That’s a good point Jeffrey. If you’re not born with this magical silver spoon in your mouth you have no choice but to deal drugs. That’s it. It’s not like we live in America and there’s any sort of economic opportunity out there. It’s either sell Tony Ya-yo or die from hunger. There are no other options.

Ah yes, white privilege. Because there is literally nothing on earth that can’t be blamed on white privilege.

Wait……what? Ummmmmm….why would anyone be selling dick on Main Street? Is that like, a hot commodity right now? Are there junkies wandering around looking to score some dick?

Hold on. Did Heidi just admit that she’s a retired drug dealer? On the Worcester Police Department’s Facebook page? Might wanna keep that one to yourself girl. Just a thought.

What’s the difference between adderall and cocaine? I dunno, the fact that one of them is an orange pill that gets the crazy kids to read a book, and the other one is what rock stars put in their nose when they don’t wanna feel pain? Good point though. They’re basically the same exact thing.

And it wouldn’t be a party if our girl WANDA didn’t show up with a fist full of hot takes!! Luckily she’s gotten her keyboard fixed and has figured out she can use the period button as she sees fit:

Oh sweet baby Jesus. Hey WANDA, you might wanna read what happened again. They had a search warrant for his house but he wasn’t home. But they obviously know what car he drives and the license plate. So they just happened to be driving around one of the scummiest parts of town (because police like to patrol the places where crime happens the most), and they noticed the exact same car with the exact same license plate as the one they were looking for. And wouldn’t ya know – there’s coke lying right in plain view and your boy is inside grabbing some food. But please, tell me more about how the cops were going after him because he is a minority in a minority owned restaurant. The race card never fails in times like these.

I realize that cocaine is not the drug that’s killing people left and right in Massachusetts right now. But it’s still not a good drug. My problem with drug dealers has always been that they don’t mind profiting off of it, but they’d never take it themselves. To me that’s gutless and cheap. So yes, if you know anyone who has died from drug addiction, and at this point we all know someone, then you understand that the dealer is ten times the asshole that the dope fiend is.

Oh look, WANDA watched a documentary on the Bloods and Crips. She’s an expert on everything now.

Most people don’t acknowledge that white privilege is real, because it’s not real. It’s something losers like RBG made up in a vain attempt to explain their own failures and shortcomings. If white privilege were a real thing then Colrain wouldn’t be a complete shithole.

As soon as you find yourself uttering the phrase, “Only God can judge” you’re admitting that you’ve lost the argument. Apparently the only ones who can judge two guys arrested for illegal firearms possession and drug dealing (subsequent offenses nonetheless) are, a) God, and b) Facebook friends. Everyone else must reserve judgement. It’s a rule.

Yea, who are we as private citizens to judge another human being’s guilt or innocence? It’s not like our entire judicial system is based off of the concept of 12 strangers drawing a conclusion as to a defendant’s guilt based on presented evidence. Oh yea, and “judges” have no right to do what they do either. They don’t even know the guys!!!

Oh look, Heidi found a link on the Google machine. Everyone click on it!! Her friend’s are obviously innocent because she found something on the Internet!! And everything on the Internet is always 100% correct. Always.

Another strong point. Can’t believe I never thought of that. If you could please direct me to the government agent these two purchased their cocaine and unregistered handguns off of, we will arrest the REAL criminals!!

Stop the fight!!! April Marlborough knows these guys. Therefore they can’t possibly be guilty!! Case closed your honor!!

Well first of all April, we didn’t read it in the paper. We read it in the police logs.

Secondly, I’m not sure if you understand how bail works. Anyone can be out on the streets the next day if they’ve got some cash lying around.

Thirdly, being perfect is not a prerequisite to judge others. You’re right, no one is perfect. But some people’s imperfections are more problematic than other’s. For instance, Turtleboy always leaves the toilet seat up. Mrs. Turtleboy hates this. But failing to put the toilet seat down is not an arrestable offense. Selling cocaine on the other hand is. See the difference?

Another smoking hot take!! When people do good things for the community it means they can’t possibly have committed a crime. For instance, Aaron Hernandez gave $50,000 to the Myra Kraft foundation and everyone knows that guy would never hurt a fly!!

So many hot takes in one Facebook thread!!! The Worcester Police clearly had two options – solve every unsolved murder that’s gone cold or get drugs off the street. It was literally one or the other. Not enough time or resources for both.

Yea, who hasn’t been there before? We all go through a phase in life where we become coke dealers to support our families. The fact that you’ve known someone your whole life only strengthens that argument.

Yes they are innocent until proven guilty. But the thing is, more than likely your boys are gonna take a plea deal. Because they got caught red handed and they’ll get a much better deal if they just admit that they did it. Oh yea, and I just looked in the mirror – turns out your friends are still guilty. I need shave though, so thanks for sending me in that direction.

Shocking that commentary like this would come form our girl April:

Oh snap!!

I love you Old Balls.

Oh yea, and just in case anyone thought that Rashad had learned anything from this whole ordeal…

Yup, you have nothing to be disappointed in yourself about. It’s not like you got arrested selling cocaine. Again. We all get arrested for coke dealing, do a little stint in the House of Corrections, get out, become a leader in the community, and then go right back to selling coke. It’s a part of life. Nothing to be disappointed about. Sounds like he’s learned his lesson.

Anyway, Turtleboy just couldn’t believe the litany of excuses we read on that Facebook thread. It was almost like the drug dealers were the victims. People think drug dealing is some sort of victimless crime. It’s not. It’s against the law because drugs kill people and they pray on the weak. It’s not like with gambling either. In gambling you can win or lose. With drugs you can only lose. Nothing good has ever come from cocaine. Just look at the 1980’s. Worse cultural decade ever and everyone was high on cocaine. Once you find a friend of your’s dead in his bedroom after choking on his own vomit from a drug overdose, then you can come and talk to Turtleboy about the nobility of drug dealers.

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