Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
It’s always nice to have fresh meat in the shark tank. When we start getting reports of people in areas we have barely grazed upon – it’s safe to assume those people don’t know anything about poking the turtle. Or, in the case of the frog-looking portly chudqueef out of Norwich Connecticut, sending your ghetto momma frog to poke it for you.
You can catch up on yesterday’s fun here:
Mike Boden was our food stamp-selling, shame sandwich eater from yesterday. Turns out his whole family is a lone-totem pole of swamp donkeys.
Mike, as expected, had a plethora of excuses as to why we was selling government food allowances for his own gain:
Actually Frogboy, we are absolutely better than you because most of us aren’t on food stamps, and even if we were, we wouldn’t be publicly trying to sell them. This kid must have the brain of a melted M&M.
Turns out he’s got a healthy record of jail time spent.
Including, I kid you not, breaking in to a local eatery. Portly Prowler Strikes Snack Realm. Yikes.
However, when you’re raised by this missing link-looking frog demon, can we really blame him for being a blight on society? Like mother like son.
My guess, judging by the following reaction, the food stamps belong to his mother, Michelle Mosca. That would be the only reason why she came out on our Facebook page making the same sorry excuses as he was. She just decided to type one giant sentence, in all caps, to show emphasis.
Guess she means business.
I kept pressing her, with a few bits of sass, to admit they were hers. Seeing that she’s got a young kid she’s obviously collecting for.
See your profile? You mean the fact that you’re wearing a Harley Davidson hoodie from Savers? Is that supposed to mean that you’ve got some big biker gang that circle jerks on you? I’m terrified.
What horrific possible thing could have happened that would cause you to commit the most ghetto crime since the inception of social media? My guess is it’s court fees. I only say that because the Turtle riders started digging and they found out Foodstamp Frogmom was arrested not too long ago for attacking a pregnant woman.
Let’s face it, Michelle. There is no excuse for you, and your derpy-looking kid, to be selling food stamps. You’re a lousy mother and you raised a total nincompoop. Gee, I’m sure glad neither of you will stop procreating. We can’t wait to feed the next one.
Brief correction from the last blog. It wasn’t a flat-brimmed Bulls hat froggy was wearing. It was a Metal Mullisha hat. Turtlegirl is probably the only blogger here that knows diddly squatola about sports. So, you’ll have to forgive me.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.