All-Star Criminals

2021 Ratchet Madness Mac Sauce Region Round 1


Here are the winners from the first round of voting in the Biblow region of Ratchet Madness 2021.

If you’re keeping track at home, all of the 14 seeds have defeated the 3’s in this tournament, so I guess I fucked up the seeding. Regardless, Monica Cannon-Grant looks like she’s on a crash course to meet up with Giannetti in the finals. Long way to go though.

Onto the Mac Sauce Region.

Instructions: Vote for which ratchet you think should advance to the second round. Links to their stories are bolded if you’d like to read up on them. I’ve put together a bulleted ratchet resume for each contestant on TB Daily News which you can read by clicking here


1. Road Rage Rollins


16. Snatchbox 20




8. Plymouth Pencil Dick


9. West Warwick Wang Stallion




4. Feta Cheese Freddie


13. Grand Theft Mullatto




5. Friar Tummy Tuck


12. Netflix and Fentanyl




3. Rhonda Rubbish



14. Stoneham Spunk Guzzlet




6. Papito


11. Brockton Cinderella Ginger Giznado




7. Momma Deep Throat



10. New Bedford Snatch Rocket





2. Fitchburg Incest Couple


15. Franzia Felicia













23 Comment(s)
  • Myownmotherfucker
    April 9, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    Fitchburg incest couple may win this. MCG and RR R.Rollins are gonna be tough to beat but if someone knocks ’em out it won’t surprise me if it’s the myownmotherfucker

  • Cleamus
    April 9, 2021 at 11:14 am

    When it comes to the George Floyd trial I will take a knee

  • Gary Zerola
    April 9, 2021 at 10:46 am

    C’mon man!

  • Nat King Coal
    April 9, 2021 at 9:56 am

    The two negros who murdered the Uber driving are getting a plea deal and won’t serve a single day in prison. Carjacking and Murder. Scot free. Pissed yet?

    • Yeah that's fucking bullshit
      April 9, 2021 at 10:36 am

      That is an absolute travesty of justice, and I think fair-minded people are going to stop putting up with this double-standard as now applies to POC. Time to start calling a Spade a Spade…

  • Observer X
    DA Rachel Rollins
    April 9, 2021 at 9:10 am

    Yo, why my here? You know I beat the wrap on da road rage. And who cares that I berated some Slope reporter outside my home? Now y’all muthafuckas keep my damn name out of your moufs!

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Laurie Lightfoot
      April 9, 2021 at 10:24 am

      I’s tell em Rach. All ya all, ya needs ta keep DA Rollins name ouch ya mutha fuckin moufs! Ya all messin’ wit da wrong one!

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    April 9, 2021 at 8:36 am

    I just read about the Fitchburg Incest Couple, then I threw up A strong number 2 seed that could go deep into the finals.

    • Randy Ryder
      North of the Border
      April 9, 2021 at 9:23 am

      Ewwwww…don’t say, “going deep.”

  • Kates Krusty Klam
    April 9, 2021 at 8:25 am

    JaJa can be her

  • Jenny Talbert Swan
    April 9, 2021 at 8:20 am

    You like me! You really like me!

      April 9, 2021 at 11:36 am

      Hey, don’t forget me. I have been a race baiter since I was a child. And now I give you my Point Of View.

  • Matt Gaetz
    April 9, 2021 at 7:31 am

    Introducing four bills today that would fully legalize child sex trafficking. In the meantime if anyone has any preteens coming in hit me up on Venmo.

  • Judge dread
    April 9, 2021 at 7:27 am

    This was a good round. I forgot about most of these losers.

  • GaffPack President
    April 9, 2021 at 6:28 am

    Aidan, why don’t you put yourself on his list? You’re an unemployed, addict who scams people. You’d win every year!
    (At least you’d be winning something because you’re obviously NOT winning at life).
    Btw, I love how you completely ignored your wife’s pleas the other night when you were, once again, telling your online ass-suckers your business. She’s screaming at you, slams the door, hoping it gives you a reality check but no, you go right back to your one and only priority- your failing show with that god-awful “blue screen.” I’m baffled as to HOW any vagina has voluntarily lubricated itself at the sight of you.

    • DudeRanchStripClub (me/mine pronouns)
      April 9, 2021 at 8:20 am

      That seems unfair.

  • Typical Democrat Voter
    April 9, 2021 at 5:08 am

    I been voting for 32 minutes, I keep cleaning my cache and cookies after I vote, then start the process all over again.
    Please don’t complain, it worked for us, to get Biden elected.

    • Typical Democrat Voter
      April 9, 2021 at 5:14 am

      I’m going to call it a night. Blown thru most of my monthly “disability ” check .
      Booze isn’t free yet.
      Thanks for voting Democrat.

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        Democrat Voter
        April 9, 2021 at 8:40 am

        Gas money give out in Gurnee, rode into town on fumes.

    • foleyworld
      Rudy G
      April 11, 2021 at 4:52 pm

      Biden got elected because his opponent
      Is/was a barely literate, delusional megalomaniac and the most unpopular President since Jimmy Carter. He never got above a %40 approval rating, he’s criminally corrupt, has a very small grip on reality, is the biggest Ego Maniac that ever lived. He lost Arizona because he couldn’t stop talking shit about John McCain a man who shoes Trump is not worthy to polish. Oh and in case you FOx News zombies have forgotten he’s a certified DRAFT DODGER who never worked a day in his life aka a fucking pussy if the highest order! And I’ve barely listed 1/3 of his “ achievements”
      Keep worshipping your idiotic clown idol you inbred seditionists. The sane and rational adults from both parties have already turned the page on your pathetic hero.

  • Clive McFarlane
    April 9, 2021 at 2:02 am

    Five dollar blow Jobs here!! Five dollar blow jobs right here!! You heard me right Five dollar blow jobs! Life has been hard since the telegram and gazette let me go.

  • Rachel Rollins and MCG final
    April 9, 2021 at 1:15 am

    Book it.

    • Michaelangelo's Nut Sack
      April 9, 2021 at 8:40 am

      Quite Likely. But don’t count out Dark Horse Waraq. Those guys having to read their “lyrics” on phones because they are too brain dead to memorize them is beyond hilarious.

      MCG and Rollins are why no sane person should continue to reside in Suffolk County.

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