2$moke From 860 Money Crew Got Arrested For Attacking A Connecticut State Cop And It’s Gotta Be Some Sort Of Promotion For Their New Album

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Everyone in America has had that kid from their high school who still hasn’t given up the dream of becoming a rapper. Now imagine 10 of them who have never ventured further than a 10 mile radius from I-395, mixed with some ripped off beats, and the false belief that they are somehow “ballers.” That’s 860 Money Crew.

Last year we discovered 2$moke and the 860 Money Crew, the most wigtacular rap group from the Connecticut Corridor – Webster of the South. Their videos are so God awful, yet we cannot stop watching them. Particularly this one, entitled, “Money Callin,” where the de facto leader 2$smoke wakes up with a butcher’s knife under his pillow and drives around all day selling drugs while point the knife at his own face like a psychopath:

But the rest of the videos are equally amazing, and you may recognize some of them from the opening credits of Turtleboy Live:

Well, we had no idea 2$moke had a name until we found this on the Connecticut State Police Troop D’s Facebook page today:

Can I just say how fantastic it is that the State Police felt the need to use his rap name in the arrest report? It’s not the least bit relevant, but it makes the story a billion times more hilarious. Whoever wrote this report is a turtle rider. Guarantee it. So thank you Connecticut State Police for being so awesome.

Here’s my question for 2$moke – if the money be callin, then why are you waiting in jail for someone to pay your bond? Are you telling me that the cash money cell phones are just a prop?

I feel used.

This HAS TO BE some sort of promotional thing for their next album. Nothing else makes sense. The cops get called to a disturbance and find 2$smoke there. Without any real provocation he attacks them, knowing damn well this will land him in jail. But he also knows this will enhance his street cred (and likely end up on Turtleboy), which is hard to come by when you’re living in Thompson, CT. There’s plenty of deadbeats and losers in Thompson. But there is a serious lack of gangstas who fuck with the police.

Until now.

Gangtsta!! The best part is that he’s somehow topless for his mugshot:

Because only wack ass bitches be wearing shirts when they go full fuck the po-lease.

I figured when I saw this mugshot it had to be some sort of Snapchat filter. Turns out that’s actually his real face.

He looks like the love child of Donkey Lips and the fat kid from the Sandlot:

That right there is the cover of 860 Money Crew’s next album. Make no doubt about it. Neckbearded, topless hardo extraordinaire. The legend of 2$smoke continues.

P.S. We hereby invite ANY members of 860 Money Crew on Turtleboy Live next Saturday night to defend his honor. You won’t.