All-Star Criminals

87 Year Old Savage Busted In Worcester Main South Hooker Sting With 18 Year Old And Randomest Crew Of Poontang Deprived Meat Monsters

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One of my favorite police past times is the shaming of the Johns. Because too often we focus on shaming hookers, who more often than not are fucked up, damaged individuals, and not on the sober people who seek to pay them for the right to rent their body for 20 minutes. Here’s this week’s roundup in Main South Worcester….


Bro…..87? His last name is not deceiving – my man is a savage!! Damn Roland, glad to see you’ve still got it. At least he’s got an excuse. The pickings are slim for 80+ poontang. Can my man Roland live a little bit? He’s gonna die any minute now. And he’s got all this SSI cash he doesn’t know what to do with. Dude is trying to go out with a bang. Literally. Plus, what’s even more dangerous is the fact that he drove all this way from Oxford.

As for the rest of them, no excuse. Especially the 18 year old. Da fuq is wrong with you Efrain?

You were literally just at your prom bro!!

Sure, you’re a little short, but you’re not exactly ugly or anything. There’s plenty of 18 year old girls with loose morals out there that would provide you with great pleasure in exchange for a 30 rack of Keystones.

And what about 27 year old Jared Katthab from Leominster?

Sure, he’s kind of douchey, but he’s also young enough to know how the Internet works. Come on bro, you never heard of backpage? If I ever reached the point in my life where I felt like the only option for sex was paying for it, I’d at least do it online. Going down to the most crack infested neighborhood in Massachusetts to sample the street meat is only something you do if you’re at least 50+ and you got no wifi.

Nevertheless his spirits are high and he’s posting about the car show he’s going to in Thompson in May…..

Or what about 25 year old Dominique McClain?

Dude’s got pictures of his kid and girlfriend all over his Facebook page. And she’s a prim looking star gazer too!!

Come on mang. Who goes hunting for soiled crab cakes when they’ve got fresh lobster tail at home?

And apparently he works for Vital EMS

Worked.

Hey Dominique, if you’re looking to find some easy meat wallets in Main South and you don’t wanna spend much money, then do what everyone else does – go to the Blarney Stone for trivia night. If you can’t make it happen there you might wanna consider jumping in the men’s pond.

The only one who looked like he actually belonged at a prostitution sting was 65 year old Bruce Abrahamian who drove all the way from Watertown for his shame sandwich:

Holy shit, it’s Chazz Palminteri. He must’ve been in town to shoot his new movie – A Bronx Fail.

The bottom line is, I can’t help but feel bad for everyone here. I just can’t imagine what it’s like to reach the point in life where I’d have to sell me body to strangers for crack, or pay a crackhead $20 to enter her tampon tunnel in a Crystal Park alleyway. Stay in school, don’t do drugs, and learn to love masturbation. Great ways to stay off of Turtleboy.

34 Comment(s)
  • Bleh
    March 26, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Daaayum,

  • JJ McCormic
    March 26, 2018 at 10:31 am

    Dominic hasn’t worked for Vital EMS for a few years. Fact checking people. Fact checking

  • Hugh Jurq
    March 25, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    It’s probably the perfect time for you to raise your standards, Regan…

  • Captain Trips
    Mr Logic
    March 25, 2018 at 2:06 pm

    Put a Ralph Lauren sweatshirt on a douche bag.

    Then you have a douche bag with a Ralph Lauren sweatshirt.

  • Reality Bytes
    March 25, 2018 at 12:45 pm

    Why is it that these guys names are revealed for allegedly hitting up prostitutes but the State Police who allegedly stole hundreds of thousands remain anonymous?

    The State Police just can’t stop stepping in it, even a toddler will step on shit once and know to avoid it.

    It has to be because every scumbag they ever locked up will be able to say “Lookie here, I am tell you at trial da crooked cops planted da 200 pounds of heroin in my ride!!”.

    • M H
      M-Hole
      March 25, 2018 at 3:38 pm

      It’s because the Mass State Police are the classic “Do as I say not as I do” organization. Or to put it another way, they have a mentality of “It’s not against the law when I do it” Now beat it while I collect my overtime/pension you regular person with no rights.

      Names should be named. Who are the suspended/retired troopers from the overtime scandal???

      • R
        March 25, 2018 at 3:44 pm

        “There is sometimes a fine line between a cop and a criminal. What drives their personality may be the same, and they have simply chosen different roles and professions to call their own.”

  • Word Up
    March 25, 2018 at 11:59 am

    Is it just a coincidence that all of them but Chaz have the same Tony Gonzalez haircut?

    Warning to the women, if your boyfriend has that haircut and is into blinged out VW Passats don’t walk away from him….. run for your life!

  • Sympathy
    March 25, 2018 at 11:50 am

    I feel bad for the hot blonde with Dominique.

    Just the thought that she probably fucked that loser drops her from a 9.9 to a 2.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      March 25, 2018 at 2:08 pm

      She’s probably got marshmallows growing inside her slot

  • Biggus Dickus
    March 25, 2018 at 11:49 am

    87? It’s gonna be like putting a marshmallow in a parking meter

    • whatevuh
      whatevuh
      March 25, 2018 at 7:41 pm

      Like shooting pool with a rope LOL

  • vicxh
    March 25, 2018 at 11:38 am

    Actually Dominique’s GF is a nice piece herself. How much do you think she charges????

    • vicxh
      March 25, 2018 at 11:39 am

      Yeah Regan, anytime Dom is out in Woostah, feel free to call me ovah!!!!

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    March 25, 2018 at 4:23 am

    This kind of thing never happens in Holden . . . . wait, oops, my bad

  • Puritan Ethics
    March 24, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    Should have been legalized & taxed decades ago.

  • Jesus H. Christ
    March 24, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    This is a serious reminder to ALL men but especially the married men,
    ‘The Fucking You Get Isn’t Worth The Fucking You’re Going To Get’.

  • vicxh
    March 24, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    The 87 yer old should be given a medal. if at this age he still have the energy to drive and pay for poon, he is a better man than most of us. Go grandpa!!!!

    • Hughbo Mont
      March 25, 2018 at 4:59 am

      Maybe he just wanted to talk? 🙂

      • vicxh
        March 25, 2018 at 11:36 am

        Yup – he wanted to see her lips move – And apologies for typos in above post lol

  • Jennifer
    March 24, 2018 at 10:17 pm

    Remember boys and girls you don’t pay a hooked for sex u pay them to leave !

  • Wasted Comment
    March 24, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    Yeah this is a good one.
    If you really want to earn your stripes why don’t you find and list the names of the 19 State Troopers who got shit canned this week for not patrolling?

    This should be public knowledge for safety reasons.

    Just how much Heroin and Fentanyle was being run down the Mass pike when the drug dealers knew the Troopers weren’t going to be on patrol or to stop them.

    How many kids have died from overdoses because these Police never showed up and did their job?

  • msheadkracker
    #wouldntpay
    March 24, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Almost every single one with a foreign sounding name, wtf is up with that? Did they just jump ship and not know about how nasty streetwalkers are? 

  • TJB
    TJB
    March 24, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    A search of the 87 year olds underwear revealed a powder like substance that looked like stonedust. Further testing determined it was dry semen from 1963.

  • tngsucks
    March 24, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    Can the 87 year old claim he just wanted to look at it? Seems legit.

  • AllPussyIsForHire
    March 24, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    All women are hookers you pay one way or the other whether it be straight cash fancy cars big mortgages fancy dinners etc and all women control when you get the poon. Always tell them you maje way more than you do. That way the old adaga remaibs true. If you broke then no go if you rich then they swallow.

  • John Colorio
    March 24, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    This policy of always printing the name of John’s is complete fucking bullshit!

    • Flynn
      March 24, 2018 at 7:34 pm

      Spoken like a John

    • Spunky
      March 24, 2018 at 7:46 pm

      Why is it BS to print the names of the Johns? Do you think they go home to their wives/girlfriends and confess? Hey honey you might want to go to the nearest clinic to get swabbed for STD’S because I pay & bang hose-monsters in alleyways.

    • Lucy in the Sky
      March 24, 2018 at 9:00 pm

      Ahhh ha haha ha….nothing screams loser like your statement. LOL

  • Brother Turtle
    March 24, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    I’m sure renting a prostitute is better than raping your next door neighbor. If I ever get that desperate for sex again, both will be an option.

    • R
      March 24, 2018 at 9:02 pm

      Well Sparky, rape isn’t about sex. But seriously, if that’s a possibility for you, seek some help. Otherwise, get yourself a Fleshlight and some lube.

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    March 24, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Hahahahaha!!!!!

    • Chaz P.
      March 24, 2018 at 9:02 pm

      Either will land you in jail where you will be ass raped, faggot.

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