This is Marilyn Sanchez.
Scissor me timbers! She’s a stripper from the Providence area, which is great, because we’re 100% pro-stripper at Turtleboy Sports. And recently she started dating this winner.
His name is Mike Rockwood, he’s from Brockton, he wears flat brimmed hats, and this can only mean one thing – he’s got a whole bunch of Google trophies.
But it’s all good because according to him “everybody got a fucking past, y’all know what my past was, I used to be a dopehead and all that shit. Now I’m in Florida staying in gated communities, so don’t worry about me.”
So obviously he’s got life by the balls now and can treat his girl right.
Bacon and eggs on a paper plate. My lady bits are tingling just writing this.
Well, this week Chinstrap Charlie showed just how much he loved his new girl in the most romantic way possible – getting her her own stash.
If that isn’t true love I don’t know what is. The two month anniversary is the suboxone anniversary after all. Because you’re “clean” if you substitute dependence on one kind of drug for another.
Some people pointed out how this isn’t what the envisioned as true love, which led to a comment by Jenny Jugs, in which her man interceded halfway through, took over her account, and let them know why he was in fact the greatest thing that ever happened to her.
Just to be clear, he wrote everything after “She wrote I wrote this part.” Then he did a….., pretended he was her, and kept praising himself for spending $800 on subs to keep her “clean.” And if you wanna flash your bankroll against him you’re gonna be severely outgunned.
We all know that totally legitimate money he flashes is appealing, but so is the “boss sauce.”
Definitely adding “boss sauce” to my Turtleboy rolodex of words to use in blogs. Dem hoes be drinking boss sauce by the gallon!
They’ve been together all of two months and they’re already madly in love.
Because if she loses him, not only does she lose the suboxone, she also loses the boss sauce.
And the free iPhones.
All dem other hoes gonna have to get in line for the boss sauce now!
And to all the haters out there who have a problem with Marilyn flashing the gerber servers on Facebook, she’s got a message for you.
So obviously this is a ratchet match made in heaven. It’s like a Brockton fair tale –
- Stripper meets junkie
- Junkie lures her in with story about being “changed”
- Junkie impresses her with collection of $20 bills en lieu of a bank account
- Junkie gives her the boss sauce
- Junkie spends $800 to get her prescription for drugs that she’ll be addicted to and thus will have to stay with him in order to obtain more drugs
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