Who remembers this hotty?

That would be Kyle “Pure” Kennedy, formerly known as Aaron Hernandez’ prison bitch. The Uxbridge wangsta with close ties to the Stanley Brothers cult

A man who legally sold his soul to another inmate in juvey (who saved the receipt) in exchange for access to a Gameboy.

And despite the fact that he was attempting to benefit off of his alleged relationship with a famous dead athlete, prior to going to prison her frequently made gay jokes on Facebook.

Well, Pure was released from jail two weeks ago, and I’m sure Unc would love to have him on the Live show because he’s flapping his Hernandez hummer to some author who’s using him as a primary source reference in his book about the former sportball tight end. According to Pure’s jailhouse interview with WBZ News, Aaron Hernandez killed not one, not two, not three, but four people, including Odin Lloyd, who he felt disrespected him.

“I’ve lied on the stand a hundred times.” – Guy being used as a primary source for a non-fiction book.

And if you can’t trust a man-bunned career criminal covered in facial tattoos and broken dreams, then who can you trust?

Granted, I don’t doubt for a moment that Hernandez used him as a dick cushion. Lots of people have come forward and alleged that Hernandez was gay, and if you put a man in prison for life with a nice piece of white chocolate pie like Pure, there’s gonna be boning. That’s just science. Their first sexual encounter sure sounded romantic.

“He told me just lay down, close your eyes and shut off the lights And that was the first time.”

Hot.

This line about carrying on their relationship after being released from jail was interesting though.

“We could be together in the street, what would people say?”

In the street? Pure, you live in Uxbridge bruh. The only thing going on in the streets there is people using your town as a cut through from Worcester to Providence. But I can see why they would’ve wanted to be together after Aaron Hernandez was released from his life sentence for no reason, especially after reading the letter Hernandez sent Pure.

I just wanted to tell you this morning that I love you. You never have to question us. I will stop questioning you and us. I realized through our thing over the past few days how much I love you and how much I want you and us. Mainly how I want you [to] know what real love, real loyalty is, and to experience someone who is with you through all in life. We will have ups and downs. Times of some pain and suffering, but together we will make it right. I’m sorry for overreacting, but it’s something I have to work on, because I’m used to being done dirty my whole life.

Translation – the “times of some pain and suffering” will describe how your burnt out glory hole feels after Aaron is done with you.

“I know I have my own issues as we all do, but you could always keep it real with me too. It will help me grow too. Just know I’m here for you to help you through all in life. I’ve got your back, your front, your side, and you for eternity. I know I’m going to go through hell dealing with you in life, but I can’t even give up on you, because that’s the type of love I have. Now you see why love is my weakness in life and how I go so far for the ones I have love for. All your issues are and will always be my issues. We will try to avoid all with respect, but if your crazy mouth gets you into s**t, I’ll be there always, even though I’m going to want to beat your a** after, LOL. Never question me or hide anything. That’s all I ask. I got you.

He’s got your back, your front, and your side for eternity. But mostly your back. That’s his favorite part. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Who could resist this while knowing that you’ll never have a chance to have sex with a woman ever again?

“I hope you have a great day, you will. Come to my door, ASAP. I miss you so much. You should be awake, knowing you sleep all f***ing day, LOL. I just wish we were cellmates, so I could at least kiss you on the forehead and say I love you. Then let you sleep while I make sure you have your coffee ready when you wake up. (Spoiled b***h!) I wouldn’t have it any other way. I truly love you that much. No words can describe it, nor will it ever, but I’m still stressing.

Damn, Aaron Hernandez wasn’t fucking around. He knew that Pure was a desired piece of ass in Shirley Max, so he was gonna treat his boo right. Mrs. Turtlegirl doesn’t even make me coffee in the morning.

“You told me you didn’t want to be on the block anymore. Did you really mean that? I mean, I’ve said way worse, so I understand, but still, it made me almost hang myself. I can’t even imagine them separating us. I’ll feel like I’m missing all of me. F**k half of me. I love you that much. I jut wanted you to begin this day knowing how loved you are and that you have someone through it all in life. Someone who will never not stand by you, not have your back, but only show you true love and true loyalty like you never experienced. I have you forever. I haven’t told you in a little, but you are perfect. I know I’m blessed to have you. I will let you know that forever and no matter what we have to overcome, we all have to grow in life. It’s a never-ending growth in life, but I’ll be with you through all of it. True ride or die.”

Damn, did Aaron Hernandez really kill himself because Pure got moved to a different cell block? Guess that’s what happens when you’re the most coveted prison bitch in Shirley and you like to play hard to get.

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