Aaron Hernandez’ Prison Boyfriend Kyle Kennedy Legally Sold His Soul In Juvey, Is Friends With The Uxbridge Gypsies, And Made Lots Of Gay Jokes On Facebook
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Yesterday we broke this story about Aaron Hernandez’ wigtacular prison butt buddy, Kyle Kennedy from Uxbridge. We got a lot of “this is not news” and “how do you know this is true” commentary. Then today this started happening:
LOL. Fox 25 News “has confirmed” that Kyle Kennedy was Hernandez’ prison bitch. And by confirmed they mean, they read Turtleboy Sports and passed it off as their own.
Anyway, his lawyer wants the note, so the story obviously checks out at this point. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It also doesn’t mean Hernandez was gay. Everyone knows that when you’re in prison on a life sentence, all rules are suspended. You can have a prison boyfriend and still be straight. But the problem is for Kyle Kennedy, he’s not on a life sentence. Not even close. So what happens when he gets out? I’d rather stay in jail than have to show my face in town after everyone knows I was the ham filling in an Aaron Hernandez club sandwich. Just sayin.
Anyway, quick update on Kyle Kennedy. He ended up at Shirley Max, despite only being on a 3-5 year sentence, because during his processing at Walpole they deemed that he was a professional asshole and a repeat offender. He was classified as dangerous and got thrown in with the worst of the worst.
We also found this Facebook post from a friend of Kyle Kennedy, in which he explained that he spoke with Aaron Hernandez during a prison phone call with his friend:
It’s dated June 5, 2016. So it looks like this was a long term prison buddy relationship. And everyone knows that if you kill yourself in prison and you’ve been dating your prison boyfriend for at least 6 months, you have to leave a goodbye note. I mean, it sounded pretty serious at this point already. Bringing your prison spouse in on a conference call and introducing him to your friends? You don’t do that with someone you’re just casually dating in the chow hall.
Kyle has also posted derogatory things about “gay n words” and likes to make gay jokes:
But he’s totally not gay.
He swears. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But wait, it gets better.
This is a picture we shared in the previous blog, of Kyle Kennedy and his homoerotic hoodrat crew:
See the kid in the Yankees hat? Yea, this is his Dad:
Yup, it’s the cult leader/prophet from the Uxbridge Church of End Times. The most notorious gypsy cult Worcester County has ever seen, and one of the Final 4 in Turtleboy’s Ratchet Madness Tournament.
We should’ve put two and two together. Uxbridge isn’t a big place. The odds of Aaron Hernandez’ prison bitch already being friends with the son of the anointed prophet from the gypsy church down the street was astronomically high. These people are drawn to each other with ratcho-magnetism.
Oh, and finally, here’s our favorite Kyle Kennedy anecdote. Aaron Hernandez could NEVER really get too close to him because someone else legally owned Kyle’s soul – a guy named Corey Remblad:
Yes, you read that right. He signed away all rights to his soul seven years ago when he was just a boy of 15. Why did he do that? Well we spoke with Corey Remblad, who explained it for us….
Hey Turtleboy my name is Corey, I sent you the picture of the contract for the soul of Kyle Kennedy of Uxbridge MA. I just would like to give you a little background on it. Back when I was a kid I got into a little trouble and was sent to Worcester secure DYS unit. It is a secure unit for juveniles. I’m not proud of this but nonetheless it happened. Kyle Kennedy was also in this unit. In DYS you aren’t allowed much property, but one of the things I did have was a gameboy color with a copy of Pokemon yellow. It wasn’t much but it helped pass the time. One day Kyle approached me and offered me his room radio for the gameboy and the game, I respectfully declined for many reasons. The main one being that he wasn’t somebody you wanted to be seen associating with. Second one being I just don’t like to associate with wannabe thugs. I declined and assured him there was nothing he could trade for it and that I was unwilling to part with it. He kept pursuing it so finally I said jokingly “give me your soul and you can have it”. He agreed immediately and I was joking at first but I had already beaten the game literally 100 times and was sick of hearing it from this kid so I agreed. So I whipped up a contract and had a few witnesses in the unit with us sign it just to make it legit. After I was released I had all my belongings in a box and I tucked it away. When I seen the article of him and Hernandez I almost fell over. As soon as I got home I dug out my old box of stuff and there it was, the contract. I just want to clarify a few things, I never associated with this fella before or after this deal, we were never friends as I would not take the soul of a friend. Also, for my own character, upon being released from DYS I never received so much as a speeding ticket or was ever arrested. I have worked at the same place for 6 years, pay all my taxes and receive no government aid for anything. Thanks for your time Sincerely, Corey Remblad.
So there you have it folks. Kyle Kennedy had the misfortune of being in the same cell block as the Worcester County version of Milhouse.
Kyle Kennedy is not only the prison widow of Aaron Hernandez, he’s also a soulless, gypsy loving, self-hating gay man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
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All this talk has made me fuckous even more on AH. I know he was legendary in football, but I bet he was also good in baseball. Problem is I never knew if he was catching or pitching. I bet anything that his Kennedy guy would know since he’s friend with a genuine hose monster.
I would have thought that CNN (Cartoon Network News) would have been all over this story by now.
I don’t know about the “horse” but he sure had a nice fat turdcutter….. Lol
WHOOOOOO THE FUCK CARES……….. why dont you do something more useful & productive with your time………. turtleboy, all youre good for is talking shit
Daily mail “broke” the story. You literally copy and pasted their bullet points.all you pointed out was who he was associated with.nice story and all but calm down
Back in the seventies, they’d all be incarcerated in a state hospital for the duration.
Will this latest addition of madness be enough to push the Gypsy’s into the finals, or does the Guttermuppet have a trip to the big dance locked up? Stay tuned..
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Ya know, for all The Snowflakes & butthurts.
Lol… It’s Boston 25 News now. Butthurt liberal pussies dropped the Fox. Guess its one of those trigger words
I think we should bring this kid and his entire crew to South Korea, yes South Korea Gabbi. Take them to the DMZ and catapult them all into North Korea and let Kim Jun Un figure out what’s best for them. Not because he’s gay, cuz there’s nothing wrong with that.
Who fucking cares? You’re article isn’t any better using such terms that the LGBT hate…
The contract is not valid. You have to be 18 to enter into a legally binding contract in Massachusetts.
It has nothing to do with MA state law… That’s a joke. It’s MY LAW!! And that contact isn’t valid… I’ve owned Kyle’s soul for years, it wasn’t his to bargain with.
Except the Columbia House Record Club! Those bastards are still after me.
Yeah… Columbia House has been on my credit report forever… Damn Captain & Tennile records…
Seriously you cannot make this shit up.
Newsweek is reporting it too. No credits to the source. Right here at TB.
That should be a new song. I sold my soul for a game boy. Wtf
I was watching Fox 25 News last night and they had a short segment on that phony scumbag pool contractor from Northbridge. I think there is a warrant for his arrest.
Oh, and LOL at Kyle.