Alfred Dente Campaigns For RI Governor With Legendary All-American Facebook Rants

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I might just start doing “What Al Dente For Governor” said today. Ever since our interview we’ve become the official sponsor of Al Dente for RI governor. If you didn’t read the first Alfred Dente blog, go back and find it. Thank me later. The guy says the awesomest things I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t be happier to be someone’s friend on Facebook than Al Dente. He’s a real person who is running for governor of Rhode Island, and his vision is unparalleled. Here’s what Al Dente said today:

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I had to read this one sentence at a time, because I literally burst out laughing in between every, single sentence. When you’re reading it, just envision this guy as the head of a state. He’s not kidding about ANY of this stuff either. If he’s the governor we really will get to watch our governor “introduce his knuckles to his fucking face!!!” I would pay good money to hear that verdict announced.

And OF COURSE Al Dente has a “poor” dead “rackoon that’s stuck to my passenger side wheel well!!” Because, why WOULDN’T Al Dente have a dead animal stuck in his wheel, which he uses as an example to explain what he would do to this child molester’s face?

I don’t know about you all, but when I saw him call this guy a “slug rake,” I lost it. Couldn’t stop laughing. I am totally gonna using the term “slug rakes.” Public humiliation and lotteries that let lucky citizens come down and punch this guy in the face? Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up? Because “serving up cold hard justice” sounds WAYYY better than jury duty.

And does Al Dente know how to go out on a bang or does Al Dente know how to go out on a bang? What do we wanna do in Al Dente’s Rhode Island after we win the lottery and punch some fucking slug rake in the face? Well, since it’s a magical place where all your dreams come true you get to drink as much COLD HARD BEER as you can drink!! Vote for me or go fuck yourself!!!!

We are in the presence of a legend ladies and gentlemen. Turtleboy and Alfred Dente, President 2016. #turtleboy2016

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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1 Comment(s)
  • Finnish goalie
    September 23, 2014 at 7:42 am

    What does he have against Red Chowder? Don’t isolate the voting base, Al.

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