All-Star Criminals

Amy Schumer Could Say Anything And Feminists Would Eat That Shit Up

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Huffington PostInternet trolls, please reclaim this sad excuse for a man Amy Schumer kicked out of her stand-up show. He’ll be waiting in the parking lot outside the venue. Kthxbai. During the comedian’s Stockholm, Sweden, stop of her tour on Wednesday night, Schumer made an example of a heckler who felt compelled to yell, “Show us your tits,” in the middle of her set. Yes, because the thousands of people paid good money to hear your pubescent playground taunts, sir. Schumer, of course, handily shut him down by first inviting him on stage, and then mercilessly roasting him much to the pleasure of the audience. 

 “What do you do for a living?” she asked the heckler, who then told her he worked in sales. “Is it going well? Cause we’re not buying it,” she fired back. 

“But if you yell out again, you’re going to be yelling ‘show your tits’ in the parking lot, because you’re going to get thrown out, motherf**ker.”

And so he did. And so she did.

So is Amy Schumer supposed to be funny? Because I don’t get it. This is a woman who made a career by being raunchy and telling period jokes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But this is what defines you at this point. People are gonna yell “show us your tits” at your shows. It’s gonna happen. Not that I condone what this heckler did. Hecklers are the worst. But just check out this lying headline:

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Did I miss the part where Amy Schumer “destroyed” that heckler? Because “you’re going to be yelling show your tits in the parking lot” might be the least funny thing a comedian has ever said. If you’re gonna engage a heckler, at least be funny. Male comics destroy the souls of hecklers. They mock everything about them. They certainly don’t kick them out, because that’s basically admitting that you can’t beat them with satire, which is what people paid to come and see you do. Come up with a funny zinger about him not seeing tits without paying for them. Anything besides “you’re gonna be yelling that in the parking lot.”

This is just yet another example of “girl power” feminism gone wrong. It didn’t matter what she said. It was just the fact that she said something back to him that got the Jezbos over at the Huffington Post all juiced up. They love this lady because she’s thick and raunchy and does and says all the things they’d say if they gave up all their class and dignity. A strong independent woman stands up to an annoying oppressive white guy and social justice warriors say she “destroyed” him because they really just wanted to see him destroyed.

But make no doubt about it, that guy was given a free ticket and came to that show for the sole purpose of being kicked out of it. He said that just to fuck with her and hope she would be the weak and triggered woman that he thought she was. And she did exactly what he wanted her to do. He wins.

P.S. The comments in that Youtube video are hilarious.


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41 Comment(s)
  • Sal Monella
    September 3, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    Shumer is an anti gun cunt and not that funny. If her uncle wasn’t Senior Senator from New York no one would know her name and she would be making burritos at Chipotle.

  • Yourwritingsucks
    September 3, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Protip after the sentence at the beginning in which you lament “I don’t get it” you should have simply put a period then piled up anything you could use to write anything else, light all that shit on fire then get a job at mcdonalds like most of the people in this comment section where you belong. Thanks.

    • Waaaahmbulance!
      September 3, 2016 at 11:32 am

      Want some tears with your fries?

  • GFY
    September 3, 2016 at 10:07 am

    Amy Schumer is the Bruce Jenner of chubby white chicks. No matter how annoying she is, I just have to be force fed this line about her being a hero. No Amy, you’re just a chubby little girl who learned to deflect people’s criticism of you with humor, good job, take a cookie and sit the fuck down, you’re on your 14th minute, enjoy it while it lasts.

  • Joe Max
    September 3, 2016 at 9:52 am

    She sucks, reminds me of Silverman.

    • Hank
      September 4, 2016 at 6:17 am

      Both gross, untalented and unfunny.

  • Pikey
    September 3, 2016 at 9:41 am

    ‘Destroyed’? If she destroyed him so bad why kick him out? If you feel confident you’ve ‘destroyed’ a heckler so badly then reason would dictate you’d keep him around to wallow in humiliation. Kicking him out just shows that you can’t contend.

  • Finnish Goalie
    September 3, 2016 at 8:00 am

    It seems every other day some other random article talks of how someone “destroyed” their competition in some very unimpressive way.

    They’re up there with the ones that ask questions in the headline. Betteridge’s Law.

  • WormtownorBust
    September 3, 2016 at 7:34 am

    The whole thing was probably staged.

  • Wwy
    September 3, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Talent not needed for amy she’s related to a Jew senator,chuckle schumer,like Meg McCain radio show,gee I wonder if she’s knows someone.

    • Jewboy
      September 3, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      Wwy always pushing his AntiSemite agenda, at least be subtle about it

  • oneopinion
    September 2, 2016 at 9:56 pm

    She’s moving up market. I still think she’s awesome right now but I hope she never ends up on The View.

  • rat
    September 2, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    Why don’t you write a blog about that little shitstain Stanford swim star who got away with sexual assault? Oh, sorry, three month in a cushy jail.

    • Jay
      September 2, 2016 at 10:12 pm

      Because that story has been beaten to death

      • Wwy
        September 3, 2016 at 2:07 am

        OH he’s rich,white,and bill Clinton was a rapist so possible president.

  • Wild Life Woo
    September 2, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    She (Amy, not Fiesty) blew me. I met her on a plane to Miami. True story.
    She was good! I can’t lie.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      September 2, 2016 at 10:01 pm

      Should have secretly recorded it and black mailed her… Money or it goes to TMZ!

      Thanks for clarifying by the way…lol

      • Fiesty's nitemare
        September 2, 2016 at 11:15 pm

        FLL which actually stands for fat lying lib is to busy sucking BLM black dick

        • Turd Burglestein
          September 2, 2016 at 11:25 pm

          Such creativity…it’s a 50-50 shot as to if this is greg or kevin. I’m going to go with the former because the latter is busy flicking his mom’s bean and the former has all the time in the world to fap over his keyboard fantasizing about FLL.

          • Rosie perez
            September 2, 2016 at 11:32 pm

            Your the one fighting her battles turd breath

          • Turd Burglestein
            September 2, 2016 at 11:35 pm

            Oh look…rosie palm comes out from under the rock. Who’s next?

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            September 2, 2016 at 11:52 pm

            It’s obviously Bob/Greg. He calls me an SJW and now calling me a LIB…LOL. Losah!! He’s so hurt because he wants to post as BobnMic so bad but can’t handle the down votes 🙁

            I love them.. It let’s me keep count of all the pussy I have hurt.

        • Nichole Fredette Marsden
          September 2, 2016 at 11:56 pm

          Greg, this song is for you!

          *warms up vocals*
          *clears throat*

          Hey, I just met you,
          And this is crazy,
          But here’s my number,
          So call me, maybe!

          It’s hard to look right
          At you baby,
          But here’s my number,
          So call me, maybe!

          (508) 885-4926

          Ask for me by name! Anyone here is free to call me. Please ask to suck my tiny bee sting tits!

          • Turd Burglestein
            September 3, 2016 at 12:03 am

            Bee stings??? More like mosquito bites.

          • Nichole Fredette Marsden
            September 3, 2016 at 12:05 am

            I was trying to entice the lovely crowd here. No one will call me now!

          • Turd Burglestein
            September 3, 2016 at 12:12 am

            Personally for me that red had and urine stained looking smock just doesn’t do it for me. But you do kinda look like a dude there with that manjaw so maybe kevin lynch will dial those digits and nibble on those ant bites.

          • Turd Burglestein
            September 3, 2016 at 12:15 am

            I got a song for you. It’s called “I’ll Make Your Brown Eye Blue”.

      • Wabbitt
        September 5, 2016 at 3:27 pm

        She DOES have nine million she got for that shitty book.

    • Turd Burglestein
      September 2, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      Swallows or spits? I’m betting she guzzled that load and yodeled it before the big gulp.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    September 2, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Hah…. I got her beat 10 to 1. I would have made his balls shrivel up into his stomach from sheer embarrassment then go home and cry himself to sleep while he sucked his thumb for comfort.

    • Fiesty's nitemare
      September 2, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      Just because you chased bob away,doesn’t make you shit you clueless twat

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        September 2, 2016 at 11:39 pm

        You spelled nightmare wrong. So, Im going to assume the best part of you obviously ran down your father’s leg and was soaked up by his knee high tube sock.

        You are the crust that formed when it dried.

      • Rusty
        September 3, 2016 at 10:10 am

        It’s been so long since anyone in this comment section has been laid that they all white knight for feisty even though she’s not funny at all and walks around like her cunt doesn’t stink

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          September 3, 2016 at 10:33 am

          What are you talking about? No one here is acting that way, get a grip. Greg you care too much about votes so I didn’t up vote you. I gave you a down to match your syndrome.

          • Rusty
            September 3, 2016 at 2:40 pm

            And look, your self and your 4 alter egos all up voted your comment. I’m not bob/Greg, but whoever he is, you should be charging him rent for how much of your brain he occupies.

    • GoneWest
      September 3, 2016 at 1:31 am

      You’re still trying too hard

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        September 3, 2016 at 2:19 am

        You going to say that everytime I post? Be creative. Pretty sure I raped your ass the last time you tried this joke.

        You need to get laid if following me is the most excited part of your life.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          September 3, 2016 at 2:19 am

          Exciting* ugh….

        • GoneWest
          September 3, 2016 at 10:59 am

          Yeah you “raped my ass” the same way that Amy “destroyed” that heckler. Bitches are always looking for a win.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            September 3, 2016 at 11:27 am

            She was horribly weak and I don’t find her humorous at all. Go back and read that thread, go refresh your memory…lol

            Don’t act butthurt. Just move along and ignore me. Seriously do you not see how much of a pussy you come off as when you continue to follow me because I hurt your feelings? I could never do that lol… Don’t be a pansy.

  • Bill P.
    September 2, 2016 at 8:42 pm

    I’m still waiting for the next Joan Rivers. I thought it would be Amy, but sadly, she came up short. Very short. Not happening, Amy. Go lay down. You’ve been brainwashed by the politically correct, and you’re just not funny. Buh-bye.

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