All-Star Criminals

Andover Crisco Crevice Accused Of Not Paying Multiple Employees At Failed Vape Shop Has Been Posting Expensive Spending Sprees On IG, Operating Pot Delivery Service 


This crisco crevice is Joshua Bottoni from Andover.

He’s a local doucehbag who opened up a vape shop in Lowell in 2016 called Empire Vaping/Empire Liquids and recently pretended that he was a victim of Charlie Baker’s bullshit ban on vaping products. In reality they closed down because he didn’t keep up with the rent. He’s also being accused by multiple former employees of not paying them.

We can confirm that Marc Anthony Cruz was not only an employee of this crisco crevice, he was extremely loyal, as can be seen from this negative review Empire Vaping got on Facebook.

“Marc is there around the clock.”

Marc also posted screenshots of a text conversation with Josh Bottom Me, in which the crisco crevice agrees that he does indeed owe money.

He’s basically saying, “I’m not going to pay you the money I owe you unless you stop criticizing me for not paying you the money that I owe you.”

That’s not how free speech works you glutton donkey.

Another former employee accused him of being paid late with checks that bounced, and then never receiving what was owed for labor rendered.

I’d highly recommend these guys contact the Attorney General’s office. This is like one of the only things Maura Healey is useful for.

You’d think that someone who can’t afford to pay their rent or employees would be living frugally. But, if he were douchey enough to be spending money flagrantly while fucking his employees over, you would hope he wouldn’t be dumb enough to flaunt his name brand shopping sprees that he took his now ex-girlfriend on all over Instagram.

Before we go any further, we have to address this.

If Meth Mile had a face. Home girl looks like the head cheerleader for the Aushwitz football team. This is what happens when you give ratchets nice things. They post it on IG like the guy buying it for them isn’t a degenerate who doesn’t pay his bills.

According to multiple sources he also was selling copious amounts of Mary Jane out of the “vape” shop too.

He screwed them over by not paying them, by promising money was coming, and not coming through. He then decided to operate as a non licensed, illegal marijuana dispensary in the vape shop. He bought and sold thousands of dollars, flaunted purchases from Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, etc, all while refusing to pay his staff. He rents a house in Andover, ma. He wears grills in his mouth, totes and flashes pictures of a gun, and thinks that he’s Pablo Escobar. He fucked the business landlord out of 4 months of arrears in rent, while living the high life on brand name fashion and improper marijuana sales.

And of course this seems to be confirmed by the fact that both him and his ex-girlfriend wisely posted tons of pictures like this on IG.

Wicked smart.

Meanwhile he’s posting away, complaining about broke bitches, how guys get big mad when their girlfriends pose for pictures with him, bragging about how he’s gonna pamper other people’s girlfriends while his employees remain unpaid, bragging about his next business venture/scam, showing off a gun like he’d ever have the balls to actually shoot someone, and posting his “weight loss” pictures like he’s not a semi-mobile tub of turkey gravy.




On top of that one woman alleges that he’s also abusive.

I dated him in 2015. Into the relationship, he became controlling, manipulative, and verbally abusive. When I moved on from the relationship, he threatened to post pictures of me nude, had his friends threaten my fiancé (kill him with a gun to be exact) After going no contact, he has harassed me a handful of times using burner app numbers.”

Uncle Turtleboy called his fat ass up for comment but he was too bitch made to answer.

Pay your bills crisco crevice.


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53 Comment(s)
  • Josh’s micro penis
    January 25, 2021 at 11:50 pm

    Word on the street is that this obese monstrosity actually tried to attack the transsexual “girl’s” dad. Maybe he tried to swallow him whole in a binge eating session? He had to flee the state via his car, because when he flies the require him to purchase 2 seats.

  • Norma De Beuzeville
    February 16, 2020 at 5:37 am

    Hello, I am writing to let you know that our advertising window on Vape Life Mag is open and we are accepting sponsored guest posts and banner ads on our magazine. Please let me know if you are interested!


  • Josh’s mangina
    November 6, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    You know he’s the type of guy that tries to talk all hard and tough. Goes into the bathroom and sits down to pee. Plus the fact that it’s probably so small he can’t see it if he’s standing.

    • RinkyDink
      January 1, 2020 at 1:11 pm

      I remember back in my biology days in college, my professor told me that every 20 pounds of excess belly fat leads to an inch of penis that is concealed. If you do the math on this jiggly-tit baboon, that means a penis length of -20.

  • YouUGGLY
    November 6, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    What’s a sister gotta do to redeem dem free UGGS? Be more like BearPaws by the time homie done paying his court costs for the charges he’s about to catch!

  • Spite baby
    November 6, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    That tank top he’s wearing looks like it’s crying for help. Apparently, he couldn’t find any California king sheets to make a shirt that fits him properly. That image will haunt my nightmares for years.

  • Big D
    November 5, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    This tub of shit, looks like a monchichi doll from the 1980’s

  • Dude looks like a lady
    November 5, 2019 at 6:33 am

    Fat bastard is dating Joe Perry from Aerosmith wtf

  • Silencio Dogood
    November 5, 2019 at 2:36 am

    It appears the poor guy was pregnant when this occurred, his hormones skewed and obscuring any sense of background in photos (except in pics of shoes) as he nearly wore sandwich board advertising, thinking it gave him value.

  • Is it just me or...
    November 5, 2019 at 1:18 am

    …Does this look like the real life version of a weak ass Bluto and that whore, Olive Oil?
    I’d plow her dirt tube but I’m concerned that she might split up the middle like a half dried chicken bone.

  • Tasty cakes
    November 4, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    When numerous filters added and you still ugly as sin. Can someone please call the coast guard to get shamu back to the ocean. For Christ sakes!

  • Lipstickhippie
    Lipstick Hippie
    November 4, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    He should have taken all the money he spent on swag for his bitch and bought her a nose job and a fucking sandwich.

  • Austin Powers
    November 4, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    “That’s a man,baby!”

  • Cheddah
    November 4, 2019 at 8:49 pm

    Unfortunately for this kid, this will be the best piece of ass he’ll ever get a piece of the rest of his entire life. I can guarantee that.

  • Elijah's final fart
    November 4, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    another Josh with Bitchtits

  • Meeeeaaaaahhhhh
    November 4, 2019 at 7:25 pm


  • WeRFucked
    November 4, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    This blog is dope.

    See what I did there?

    Can sense actually be smacked into someone? These two need some.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    November 4, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    That bitch has a face you could chop wood with, yet that fat cunt is still punching above his weight.


  • Frank Rizzo
    November 4, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Oh and the gym pic with the scale in the background is fukkin’ priceless….

  • Frank Rizzo
    November 4, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    Anyone who smokes cigs or vapes is an asshole. And have you noticed that all the vape shop owners are ratchet fucks too? Jes sayin’. Luv, Frankie

    • WeRFucked
      November 4, 2019 at 7:00 pm

      Who’s the fucking walking chemo patient who voted down this?

  • Juan Tubangu
    November 4, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    Anybody who puts the dollar sign on the right doesn’t deserve to be paid.

  • Meeeeaaaaahhhhh
    November 4, 2019 at 4:46 pm


  • How many times old man??
    November 4, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Say it with me. METHADONE MILE.

  • Daniel Sullivan
    Sprinkle Pig
    November 4, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    Is it me or does he look like an even uglier busted up version of Turtle from Entourage? Either way nothing like having life goals like the newest LV flip flops. Not to mention at least own a Glock instead of a SW M&P. So lame! Lol

    • True Reality Speaks
      Glock Fan Boys Are Amusing
      November 4, 2019 at 7:20 pm

      Glocks are waaaaayyyy overrated, especially in this state (thanks Maura, et al). Most free staters might have a Glock as a truck gun. I prefer not having to spend as much on upgrades (sights, trigger, guide rods, springs, etc) as the gun itself to make it usable, and I don’t like guns that are known to go kaboom when you try to shoot them.

      • Close but no cigar
        November 5, 2019 at 3:20 am

        That was a striker fired weapon but it was not a Glock.
        Let me guess, are you a 1911 guy?
        I’ve got plenty of both kinds along with other weapons and find the rivalry to be mildly amusing and at the same time, childish.

        Aside from that, wouldn’t be a riot if the piece that blubbertastic boy has on his profile is less than legal?

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 4, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    The chick looks like a meth head with full blown aids

    The only thing on her that has some plump to it is her schnozz

  • Metro West Guy
    November 4, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Ex-employees should have refused to return after the 2nd week not getting paid unless fatso had a check with their name waiting at the front door. Let this be a valuable lesson not to be repeated.

  • Josh’s Brand New Steel Toilet Seat
    November 4, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    Another great rule o’ thumb is “Never do business with a super-fatty” !! No self control, self awareness or self esteem. They’ll try to fuck you over is a moment of blood-sugar craziness, then they’ll seek comfort and reassurance in ice cream and cake and go out driving around all night going through any and all drive-thru restaurants till they collapse on their super-duty toilet seat at dawn in a pile of greasy, smelly fast food sweat. Yuck !!!

  • Meeeeaaaaahhhhh
    November 4, 2019 at 2:04 pm


  • Crispy C
    November 4, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    Girl’s face looks like it was half shrunk by the guy at the end of Betelgeuse.

    No flat brimmed Bulls hats. I’m kind of surprised.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    November 4, 2019 at 1:43 pm

    Bitch looks like Ratatouille. Eat a fuckin doughnut.

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    November 4, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    Am I the only one who was calculating the over/under that the bench behind him (photo 6) would collapse if he harked his wide load on it?

    The “girlfriend” looks like a early version of a deepfake.

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    November 4, 2019 at 1:12 pm

    I haven’t seen body hair like that in tights since George “The Animal” Steele.

      November 4, 2019 at 1:16 pm

      I was thinking the same thing, beat me to it….

      November 4, 2019 at 1:17 pm

  • Russmo
    November 4, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    What a big fat tub of shit

  • Judge dread
    November 4, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    That girl friend or hooker or whatever it might be totally looks like a man. This dude is pumping a think is a girl, who’s laughing now?

    • judge dread
      November 4, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      also no one and I mean no one shows off their CCW shit in this state. he’s a fake.

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    November 4, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    His first name is Josh, no further explanation is required.

  • One Ball Paul
    November 4, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    It’s the KMart version of a Patton Oswald / Marilyn Manson coupling.

  • Corinth Arkadin
    November 4, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Again, why post these selfies? If I looked like either I wouldn’t post this shit.

    Is there that much of a dearth of self-awareness that you don’t know you look horrendous?

    And her face tho…did she use a Blair Witch filter? She’s scary, her eyes look dead.

    • Corinth Arkadin
      November 4, 2019 at 2:45 pm

      Who is the fag that downvotes me on every single post? It can’t be this fat piece of shit or his skank because it’s systemic for the last three months, and it’s personality driven and not due to content.


      • True Reality Speaks
        Orson Welles Was A Narcissistic Twat, Too
        November 4, 2019 at 7:05 pm

        Don’t flatter yourself – you need to be relevant in order to be stalked.

        You’re more like Finn and Dick Grabber – legends in your own mind that people laugh AT, not with.

  • Mark Berry
    Georgia Madman
    November 4, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    Is that chick a guy? Looks very strange.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 4, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    Another useless, vapid cunt. Well, make that two useless, vapid cunts. He looks like he ate a fat man who swallowed a Burger King and she looks like she eats Tic Tacs with a fork and knife. Ill bet hes the only man in the world to have had a bench seat installed in a Miata. That woman has never done an honest days work in her useless life of living off of mommy and daddy and, of course, Josh. Another fucking man-titted Josh. How many more can there be? Oh well, rant off…back to the wood cutting/splitting so I dont wind up looking like that fatty.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 4, 2019 at 12:14 pm

    Almost have to respect this fat mess for making a spic work 7 days a week and then not paying him.

  • Kid Diddler
    November 4, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    I remember this guy from high school, word was that he diddles kids. & it wouldnt surprise me at all, he even has that creepy pedo-smile if you look at his pics

  • ninja turtleboy
    November 4, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    it’s sad that these people’s version of ‘success’ is buying a bunch of shit they can’t afford before they even own homes, cars, and actual things of importance. home girl needs a decent meal, not a new bag!

    i have more respect for a homeless person on the street than i do for these clowns.

  • I’m so confused
    November 4, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    Trying to figure if the girlfriend is a man, woman or skeleton. Yikes, have a sammich girl(?).

  • hartf811
    Aristotle Onassis
    November 4, 2019 at 11:50 am

    Hey fat boy. Selling dope does not make you an entrepreneur, taller or thinner. And your drug addicted, concentration camp beauty queen, a skanky Eastern European visa jumper, will tell you anything to keep the happy train pulling. Oh and nice fingernails on your fat little thumb dude. Chewing your nails to your elbow.

  • Alan Bohdiewicz
    AJ Alphonse
    November 4, 2019 at 11:50 am

    Why blow clouds when you can blow your employee’s money?

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