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  • Another Guy On The Red Line Beating His Hog Like A Vending Machine That Stole His Quarter Doesn’t Seem To Care That He’s On Facebook Live

    Another Guy On The Red Line Beating His Hog Like A Vending Machine That Stole His Quarter Doesn’t Seem To Care That He’s On Facebook Live

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    Not sure why making tummy pancakes while riding public transportation is a thing now, but it’s fappening everywhere you look…..

    Zero point zero perecent chance he washed those Shaw’s brand sweatpants when he got home. In fairness, the chick who posted this herself is like a 7.4 on the ratchometer, based solely on what I just read in the introduction. Normally I don’t take chick’s at their word when they’re Brocktonites who treat their face like a pin cushion:

    I mean, she claims she got up in his face and did all this shit, but yet none of that was recorded. So the fact that she says he was staring at a 8 year old girl while doing this (who she didn’t show on tape either) is suspect at best.

    But sweet Jesus, he was beating that thing like a broken a vending machine that just ate his last quarter. It wasn’t just some light petting either. Dude was choking the clown like it was talking shit about his sister.

    Totally in the zone too. I don’t know what was coming in through those oversized headphones, but whatever it was I bet I bet you win a free iPhone when you click on it, because it was certainly doing the trick:

    Next thing you know he looks over and realizes he’s on Facebook Live:

    But this was a man on a mission who ran out of fucks to give a long, long time ago, as evidenced by the sweatpants, headphones, and FILA brand shoes.

    So instead of just calling it a day and finishing up when he got back to his cockroach infested ratchet den, he elected to lift his knee up a little more and get back to the work at hand (no pun intended):


    That’ll fool them!!

    Of course the disturbing part here is that the girl who filmed it claims he was staring at a 8 year old girl. As awful as that is it doesn’t really matter what he was staring at. He could’ve looked at the 8 year old, stored a picture of her in his spank bank, and used it later. The problem here is that he was mixing the bisquick right on the red line in the first place.

    Why is this a thing now? This is our second public masturbation story in the last fortnight. Has this been going on for centuries and we’re just finding out about it because of Facebook and iMachines? Or is public masturbation just like, the new mannequin challenge?



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    1. Bill Clinton

      What’s the world coming to when a man can’t even scratch his nutsack when its a little itchy. And lordy lord I know what’s its like to have a burning, itchy nutsack.

    2. Bill Clinton

      PS: Meagan can scratch my itch any day of the week she wants.

      1. Ted

        200 dollars she’ll come clean your house in lingerie, 200 more, sky’s the limit

    3. Itchy McScritchy

      Maybe the guy was herding crotch crickets?

      1. No name

        You can hear the young girl in the backround!

    4. No name

      You can hear the little girl in the backround! It is strange that she didn’t confront him well recording though.

      1. Alyssa

        You can hear the little girl in the background? But, what you find strange is that she didn’t confront him? What planet are you from? Little girls don’t confront adult men for staring at them. Thank God for innocence. Pretty sure she wouldn’t jump to the conclusion of public masturbation and then confront him. P.S. NO ONE should just continue to make a video rather than report the behavior for… as has been stated… a little girl who has no voice to confront him.

    5. […] week we wrote about this bisquick manufacturer going to town on the red line, allegedly staring at a 8 year old girl while doing […]

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