Any New England Patriots Fan Who Isn’t Furious With Bill Belichick And Bob Kraft Is a Fraud Pink Hat

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Let me start this off by saying that if you’re a New England Patriots fan and you’re not absolutely fucking furious about the state of this team, then you’re a pink hatted fraud.

They suck. I haven’t said that since 2000. They really, officially suck. And what pisses me off and should piss you off, is that it was totally fucking preventable. I’ve watched for the last seven or eight years as this day has slowly been coming down the pipe. And people have been cool with it because we’ve been competitive. But the bottom line is that the Bill Belichick and the Kraft Family have completely fucked this franchise and fan base over, and all the mindless lemmings do is talk about how fucking smart they are.

Well they didn’t seem so smart last night now did they?


First a couple things that pissed me off about the Chiefs fans.

  • Watching 65,000 white people do an Indian war chant in head dress is cool, but calling a football team the “Redskins” is offensive? That’s what I learned last night. Is there anything more idiotic and backwards that political correctness? These idiots literally just pick and choose what’s gonna outrage them. Redskins has been around forever, and all of a sudden it’s a racial slur in 2014. Because I hear kids using that all the time on the playground. “Wudup my Redskin?”
  • The fact that they had to purposely set the Guiness record for crowd noise is nothing less than shenanigans and should have an asterisk next to it. If the noise level isn’t broken naturally it shouldn’t count. You can’t have a premeditated noise record. And Guiness still publishes a world record book? Who buys that?
  • Watching this Chiefs fan face fuck a Patriots fan was one of the most emasculating, yet appropriate gestures you will ever see at a football game:

Pats fans deserved to be face fucked last night. We needed to know what rock bottom felt like.


I just realized while watching this that the Turtleboy crew will be in Buffalo in two weeks for the Patriots-Bills showdown. These KC fans are pretty much what every single person in Buffalo embodies. Except this guy forgot to call the Patriots fan a faggot. In Buffalo you can’t go 30 seconds without being called a faggot. Oh yea, and the way the Patriots are playing right now I am fully expecting to get face fucked by a gaggle of drunken Buffalo boobs in their element.

The Patriots problems can all be summed up in this six second Vine:

You see that right there? Two important things you should know about that play:

  • Rookie Bryan Stork gets absolutely steamrolled and made it impossible for Shane Vereen to have any shot at converting a first half first down.
  • The play calling on third down was “sweep right.” This play didn’t work for South High in 98 and it’s certainly not gonna work in the NFL. It is literally the most basic of plays. This is what Josh McDaniels called on third down.

It’s not Stork’s fault. He has no business playing in a game that matters. He’s a fourth round draft pick rookie. And why is he playing? Because morons wanted Logan Mankins to take a fucking pay cut. All I heard after the Patriots traded the All-Pro guard for absolutely nothing they will use this year, was what a smart move this was. Mankins was done. Despite the fact that not a single one of these people was bitching about how “done” Mankins was before this trade, they all claimed to be offensive lineman experts all of a sudden.


They also keep drinking the company kool-aid about the salary cap. There is nothing I give a fuck less about than the salary cap. When they talk about it on talk radio I change the channel. The only thing I care about is what is on the field. The bottom line is that the Patriots SHOULD have been all in this year. Tom Brady’s career is coming to an end. This is it. We needed the best possible team on the field this year. Nothing less was acceptable.

But apparently the Kraft’s and Belichick thought we could win AND save money. And every idiot out there talked about how smart they were. Because Bob Kraft really needed another yacht.

It turns out the expendable Logan Mankins actually mattered. This is nothing less than Belichick stroking his own genius. He thought he was a good enough coach to throw Jordan Devey or Stork in there and they won’t miss a beat. Well guess what? Those guys suck. Mankins didn’t get facialized like that. He was actually one of the best running offensive linemen in football. But hey, as long as Bob fucking Kraft saves a few bucks who cares right?


Belichick the GM needs to be fired too. He’s given Brady absolutely nothing to work with. Brady is obviously in decline. Newsflash – you need to give him MORE weapons to work with, not LESS. And how about all those draft picks? How many fucking disasters do you need to see before you realize that the man has no idea what he’s doing on draft day? For every Chandler Jones there are a gaggle of Ron Brace’s, Patrick Chung’s, and Darius Butler’s.

And I’m beginning to think that Brady is a borderline scab. Why the hell does he take so many pay cuts for these frauds? They don’t give a shit about him. They saved money on a line and now Brady’s gonna lose five years of his life because of all the hits he’s taking. And what did they do with the money they saved? Brought in Darrell Revis, who has somehow managed to find a way to make Carl Crawford look like good value.

They certainly haven’t given him any receivers. Amendildo I actually like but Brady can’t get him the ball. But Dobson and Tompkins? Where the fuck were they last night? If they can’t play and contribute in a Monday night game on the road then what good are they? Whey are they here?


So why does Brady NEVER speak out about ownership’s bullshit? I wanna see Brady be a malcontent.  I wanna see him hold out so badly. Fuck them Brady. You should’ve taken their asses to the cleaners. The reason I call him a scab, is that he sets this tone with the Patriots that it’s like some sort of privilege to play here. Why? Because we won three Super Bowls ten years ago? Who gives a shit? Then players like Mankins get in these situations where they have to choose between the money they’ve already negotiated for and having the privilege of playing in Foxborough, because Brady has already set the tone (which is easy to do when your wife is the primary breadwinner).

Well that shit worked for a while because we’re always competitive. Now what? Who the hell is gonna take less money to play for these losers?

Former Patriot Tommy Kelly, who was cut during training camp, put it best yesterday when he said this:

“I saw the situation and I realized I probably wouldn’t be there,” Kelly told the Cardinals’ website. “I couldn’t take busting my tail every day getting to a game and them taking me out of the game for someone who I know isn’t better than me, because he’s a cheaper option. Are we worried about money here? Or are we worried about winning?”

Preach brotha. The answer is they’re worried about both money and winning. They’re just cocky enough to think that they can have both.

Look, I’m still not 100% convinced that this is it. They should still win the AFC East. But I will say this – if we lose back to back games against Cincinnati and Buffalo, Brady’s gotta sit. That’s it, he’s done. Battlestar Garoppolo time. Yup, that’s right. We’ve reached the point where we’re talking about “playing the kid.” This has been the topic of Chicago Bears sports talk radio for the last 100 years. This is what we’ve become.

You should be pissed.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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12 Comment(s)
  • Quantum Mechanic
    March 22, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    So when will you be demanding that NE return the SB XLIX Lombardi because they didn’t fire Belichick, etc.?

  • Wabbitt
    October 2, 2014 at 2:56 am

    That game on Monday was possibly the most painful three hours of my life. Hey Bob, you know why Mark Wahlberg didn’t high five you? Because of bullshit like this. Alex Smith looked like an elite quarterback against that bullshit defense. I was actually glad I started the Chargers defense in my fantasy league this week, because if I had started the Pats, I would have lost. And I still would have lost were it not for Garoppolo throwing that TD to Gronk.

    Prior to this week the trio of Gronk, Edalman, and Gostkowski were averaging around 29 fantasy points a week. Going into the forth quarter on Monday they had 3.60. This was like a nightmare that I still haven’t fully awoken from.

  • Frogshit
    October 1, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    If you weren’t smart enough to see the writing on the wall then…. Kraft has been pretty straight, for the past several years, that his fucking pockets were more important than anything in the land. I too am puzzled as to why Brady has become a fucking “sheep”. In the past he set the tone. Now, he’s that guy in the office who runs in to the Boss every hour to suck his dick and rat out his co-workers. I’m wondering if the Kraft’s don’t have some shit hangin’ over his head???? Bottom line. The Patriots SUCK!

  • Fred
    October 1, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    This is a pretty accurate assessment. Can’t stand Boob Kraft and his cross-eyed twerp silver spoon son (and why on the earth do they interview that twit each week on the radio(?), station changing must be rampant that hour) . With the exception possibly of Dallas the Pats have the highest ticket prices in the land and then you have the absurd 50-70 parking, 20 beers etc. and they leave Brady devoid of any semblance of offensive talent other than a 7th round draft pick who played qb in college? Ridiculous, he has every right to be pissed.

  • October 1, 2014 at 11:05 am

    had no idea that world records weren’t premeditated. guess the guy who ran the fastest mile was just heading to the grocery store. also, i’ve never heard a chinese person say “what up, my chink?” so that must not be a slur either. which really is off topic because the chiefs are named after the former mayor of KC, whom everyone called “Chief”.

    • Wabbitt
      October 2, 2014 at 2:49 am

      I guess he walked around town in a headdress doing a war chant, too. Huh?

  • October 1, 2014 at 7:29 am

    #1 I’ve never been so happy to be out of Patriots tv market as I am this year, WTF, I can’t believe I went to the trouble to download the ESPN app to watch that shit
    #2 Brady is done, sorry he is. He will never win another championship here. He’s 37 years old and beat to hell and he’s literally SCARED in the pocket. He just needs to retire and keep whatever marbles he has left in the bag he calls his brain.
    #3 This is still Hernandez’s fault. If that asshole didn’t decide he’d rather murder people instead of catching footballs we’d have another solid receiver. I swear, he was the entire downfall of this organization.

  • Woodiculous
    October 1, 2014 at 7:04 am

    They don’t play the playoffs in September.

    The Pats have managed to hold a huge margin in winning percentage over the entire NFL for a decade. Those numbers matter. Numbers don’t lie (just like Monday night’s score-to your point).

    Cincinnati will probably beat them, just like Cincinnati has beaten everyone else so far. I just hope that the Pats at least look competitive. I agree that Buffalo is the real test. I’ll worry if the Pats can’t beat Buffalo, but only then.

  • October 1, 2014 at 6:14 am

    FYI. Your hero Mankins is sucking in Tampa.

    • Finnish goalie
      October 1, 2014 at 8:20 am

      Mankins is just the most recent example of trend, however.

  • Rob B.
    October 1, 2014 at 2:40 am

    I don’t like your post…I fucking love your post. I’ve been seething for years with regard to Bill Belichick. It started with Spygate for me, and it’s only gotten worse every year. The horrendous personnel decisions, and especially the drafting, have me at my wits end. Trading Mankins and cutting Tommy Kelly were the last straws for me this year. It’s so hard to absolutely love this team, but also absolutely hate this coach. And if I have to watch another press conference of his where he says “we have to coach better and play better” I just might lost my mind. Reading your post made me feel better because at least I know there are others like me. Thank you!

  • President
    October 1, 2014 at 12:09 am

    I hate it when they call Bob Kraft “Mr. Kraft”

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