I might have to write more blogs about everyone’s favorite stay-at-home dad Aaron Gouveia, because the guy is just an endless source of material. Check out what he posted today on his Facebook page “The Daddy Files.”
Wow. This guy LOVES to find anything he can to get fired up about doesn’t he? I guess when you
are a stay-at-home dad don’t have a job you pretty much have all day to find some obscure thing to get outraged about.
So what exactly is it about this obviously harmless set of welfare pajamas that has Apple Daddy’s britches in a bunch?
Hey fuckface, I hate to break it to you but superheroes aren’t actually real. Boys can’t become them and your daughters can’t grow up to drill them.
One of his readers pointed out that perhaps he should calm the fuck down:
Yea Kevin, you don’t even know how to get offended!! That’s why you couldn’t see the problem with it numbnuts!! It clearly says on those Jam-Jams that if girls wear them they will never go to college, get a job, or sing Beyonce in the shower. Women should NEVER aspire to date a successful guy that can provide for them. Every woman should look for unemployed, models of fitness like Apple Daddy:
Because someone has to marry the Apple Daddy’s of the world right? Maybe he would be cool with it if the PJ’s said “I Only Date Stay-At-Home Dads.”
One of his readers pointed out that he MIGHT be overreacting about some arbitrary onesie he found in some random store. His response basically explains everything you need to know about him:
Yea Des, why are you pointing out that this guy is using a ridiculous anecdote in a vain attempt to show the world that society is inherently sexist? Don’t you know that the Daddy Files exists so that men who don’t have jobs can kiss their wives’ asses by pretending to be outraged male feminists? Sure, everyone knows that you can easily find girls superhero pajamas anywhere, like batgirl
which apparently is just a pink batman.
There’s also spidergirl
and of course the world famous “K Girl”
Adorable. If that girl’s not ready to save the world then I don’t know who is. The problem with these outfits of course is that Spidergirl, Bat-babe, and K Girl are not real superheroes. Fear not, they also make Jam-Jams for superwoman
and Iron Man
If simply doesn’t get more feminist than those PJ’s.
Super Apple Daddy wasn’t done:
Yea, sure the store makes tons of other clothing that empower young woman, by why concentrate on that when you can freak out over ONE onesie that got his naniburger all riled up. When I first saw this outrageous outfit the first word that came to mind was “harmful.” Just think of the message kids will get when someone wears clothing that says “I Only Date Superheroes.” What message will that send to unemployed stay-at-home dads in zebra Jam-Jams? Sure the kids who wear these outfits have absolutely no fucking clue what the concept of dating even means, but nevertheless, the Daddy Files needs SOMETHING to get fired up about, so this will have to do.
So I’m trying to understand what is wrong with the message the Jam-Jams are sending. Girls date boys don’t they? Maybe some girls don’t wanna be a superhero. Maybe some girls would rather just DATE the superhero. What the fuck is wrong with that? Do you understand how much work being a superhero is? Some idiot in a jam is always calling you to bail their ass out. And you think you’re getting Columbus Day off? That’s like the busiest weekend of the year!!! Not to mention the fact that merely by existing you have an arch-enemy who is constantly trying to kill you. Oh yea, and you don’t get paid for any of this, nor do you have a retirement plan or healthcare.
But yea, besides that being a superhero seems like a lot of fun. What little girl wouldn’t wanna do all that work?
And does it get any more hypocritical than our boy Apple Daddy? I mean, he is married and unemployed. He’s basically doing EXACTLY what this outfit is suggesting girls do – settle down with someone who has a job and sit back and enjoy the ride.
Hey Apple Daddy, don’t you think you’re kind of grasping at straws here to find something that “offends” you?
Yea guys. Being offended by random children’s pajamas isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s actually a great thing. Some people contribute to society by building shit. Some go on to save lives as doctors or EMT’s. Others become teachers, cops, and firefighters. But where would society be without people like Apple Daddy who spend their days looking for shit to get offended about?
Never change Apple Daddy. Never change.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.