All-Star Criminals

Asswipe Attorney Blames Chicopee Police For Charging Triglyceride Trap Queen After Arrest For Getting Kicked Out Of Burger King, Threatening To Kill Cops’ Children


Here’s your latest dumpster fire out of Chicoyokefield.

Good lord, this woman is almost my age. That is a HARD 37 right there. She may have been born in the early 80’s, but she’s at least 73 in Chicopee years.

In fairness, she worked at Burger King, so she was gonna have it her way. Period.

This gluten gladiator isn’t the type of ho you tell to leave the police station. She’s made that abundantly clear on her Facebook page.

This ain’t her first rodeo cheeseburger.

She has no tolerance for two things in particular – 1) bum ass bitches, and 2) dumb bitches who be dumb as fuck.

But who amongst us actually enjoys bum ass bitches though? Exactly.

She’s about 70 pounds overweight, unemployed, and threatens to kill police officers and their crotch fruits, which means in Chicoyokefield there’s no shortage of guys willing to plant their seed in her sperm sponge and watch it blossom into fupa fruit.

She has in fact reproduced several times.

And I’m sure the guy who couldn’t bother to bathe himself before family photos works enough hours so that she can afford to be a stay at home mom. It’s not like someone like this would ever collect welfare for a living.

She’s clearly in a stable relationship, so at least her poon polyps are in good hands while she spends the next few days in jail.

The triglyceride trap queen also frequently posts about the devices she’s using to make her pussycat purr.

And the algebra involved in figuring out how she reached this number will likely give you nightmares.

$8,700. Thinking about the things she would’ve had to do to reach that number will make you convert to Islam just so you can refrain from eating for a month.

According to the family she married into, this isn’t exactly surprising behavior.

Only God can judge though.

There weren’t many people defending her, aside from the “she needs help” queefs. But one guy actually went so far as to suggest that she dindu nuffin, and he’s far from your run of the mill ratchet.

Oh yes, to the Chicopee Police “disorderly conduct” is “any behavior that they find distasteful.” Ya know, like kicking officers, threatening to murder their families, causing a commotion in the lobby, and threatening to kill people who sought refuge in the police station to avoid her. Minor stuff like that.

What exactly do you do for a living Matt?

Oh my God, it’s Attorney Dick N. Vulva in real life! I know when I’m looking for a competent attorney the first place I look is the Chicopee Police’s Facebook page to see which dumbass with a 4th grade picture day boy’s regular haircut is defending the slopbucket of the week. Perhaps he should sign up to handle her case since it seems like such a slam drunk acquittal and all.


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20 Comment(s)
  • Mass Board of Bar...
    August 27, 2019 at 2:22 am

    She’s gross and the attorney is a moron. That’s my opinion and probably everyone else’s too

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 26, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    Mudshark supreme with a diet Coke…

    • Theonewhoknocks
      August 29, 2019 at 2:02 am

      Brought back memories to when i was a teen working at taco bell and the 400 lb dirty ponytail mamas would come in and order half the fkin menu then finally “AND A LARGE DIET COKE”

  • WeRFucked
    August 26, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    I got $100.
    Is that for every time? If so, I’m in the billions.

  • Dr. Now
    August 26, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Stephanie, I want you to lose 70 pounds in the next 30 days. If you can do this, I will approve you for weight loss surgery and a frontal lobotomy.

    • Catherine
      August 27, 2019 at 5:58 pm

      More importantly DR. NOW instead of the just a lobotomy and gastric bypass surgery how about you throw in a hysterectomy too. That’s going to save us a lot more money in the end.

  • YOU might be a redneck
    August 26, 2019 at 6:01 pm

    If you think #____ is worth more than #____then YOUUUU just might be a redneck!

  • Eye Care Is Healthcare
    August 26, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    70 pounds overweight? More like a three
    -quarter-ton driven by a bath-salt-snorting lead foot on a mission. For the love of everything holy, SSTG: do not drive a car or write another blog until you’ve had your bi-annual eye exam.

  • Mr Williams
    August 26, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    Who wrote this geeeeessshhhhhh ‍♂️‍♂️

  • brianmorris1976
    Dick Trickle
    August 26, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    I am packing up and moving thr kids to Chicopee. I am so sick of living with white people that work and don’t cause problems. I want to see some wiling out and fights.

    • z
      August 26, 2019 at 4:56 pm

      There’s some nice sections in Chicopee. But, no, you don’t want to move to Chicopee.

      In my link to the Denny’s video I mentioned the Walmart.
      That Walmart is bad. Inside Edition in 2016 had a Chicopee cop saying they had 1,294 calls at the Walmart in 2015.

      TB had a blog about a fight in Aisle 10 I believe on Easter or Palm Sunday in 2018. 2 guys in pink dress shirts.

      I’ve always found it amusing that Chick-fil-A moved right in among these festering piles of dung.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    August 26, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    The jackbooted Chicopee cops had no business arresting Stephanie. She was merely exercising a First Amendment protected activity. The Pigs are the ones that escalated the situation.

  • MAGA
    August 26, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Be sure 508 not to call 423 the cops on this woman 6239 regarding the drugs and open lewdness at her home, fellow riders!

  • Damn she ugly....wanna run a train
    August 26, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    All I can say is thank god for black guys…….

    Doin the work no respectable white guy would/could ever do

    • whatevuh
      August 26, 2019 at 5:38 pm

      exactly what I was thinking, what self respecting white guy would tap that? yuck !

  • Screw Snowflakes
    What score ya'all get?
    August 26, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    I only scored 2500. I am so lame. (rolls eyes)

  • Real_Finn
    August 26, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    Matt Hutchinson,

    First rodeo huh?

    I love lawyers who think they can school the police on “deescalating” ratchet behavior. It *never* goes well for the attorney. You’ve hitched your wagon to the wrong heifer.

    I *almost* feel bad for you – but then I picture you in your antifa gear and I giggle. You deserve all the notoriety you get.

    Get Fucked,

    p.s. using your high school yearbook picture for your business is ridiculous

  • How???
    August 26, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    Oh my lord.. this woman is 37.

  • z
    August 26, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    How convenient. The Chicopee Walmart, Dennys and BK are all within seconds of each other.
    If there’s ever a new Chicopee Police station they should build it in Home Depot/WalMart parking lot.

    Dennys 2011.

  • WTF
    August 26, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    That fucking chart makes married life look bad. My wife $500. My ex hoe $10,100 with me. Never get married kids

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