Here’s your latest dumpster fire out of Chicoyokefield.

Good lord, this woman is almost my age. That is a HARD 37 right there. She may have been born in the early 80’s, but she’s at least 73 in Chicopee years.

In fairness, she worked at Burger King, so she was gonna have it her way. Period.

This gluten gladiator isn’t the type of ho you tell to leave the police station. She’s made that abundantly clear on her Facebook page.

This ain’t her first rodeo cheeseburger.

She has no tolerance for two things in particular – 1) bum ass bitches, and 2) dumb bitches who be dumb as fuck.

But who amongst us actually enjoys bum ass bitches though? Exactly.

She’s about 70 pounds overweight, unemployed, and threatens to kill police officers and their crotch fruits, which means in Chicoyokefield there’s no shortage of guys willing to plant their seed in her sperm sponge and watch it blossom into fupa fruit.

She has in fact reproduced several times.

And I’m sure the guy who couldn’t bother to bathe himself before family photos works enough hours so that she can afford to be a stay at home mom. It’s not like someone like this would ever collect welfare for a living.

She’s clearly in a stable relationship, so at least her poon polyps are in good hands while she spends the next few days in jail.

The triglyceride trap queen also frequently posts about the devices she’s using to make her pussycat purr.

And the algebra involved in figuring out how she reached this number will likely give you nightmares.

$8,700. Thinking about the things she would’ve had to do to reach that number will make you convert to Islam just so you can refrain from eating for a month.

According to the family she married into, this isn’t exactly surprising behavior.

Only God can judge though.

There weren’t many people defending her, aside from the “she needs help” queefs. But one guy actually went so far as to suggest that she dindu nuffin, and he’s far from your run of the mill ratchet.

Oh yes, to the Chicopee Police “disorderly conduct” is “any behavior that they find distasteful.” Ya know, like kicking officers, threatening to murder their families, causing a commotion in the lobby, and threatening to kill people who sought refuge in the police station to avoid her. Minor stuff like that.

What exactly do you do for a living Matt?

Oh my God, it’s Attorney Dick N. Vulva in real life! I know when I’m looking for a competent attorney the first place I look is the Chicopee Police’s Facebook page to see which dumbass with a 4th grade picture day boy’s regular haircut is defending the slopbucket of the week. Perhaps he should sign up to handle her case since it seems like such a slam drunk acquittal and all.

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