All-Star Criminals

Auditing Trojan Ratchet Bristol Blarney Part 3 – Kicking Dogs, Emasculating “Husband,” Getting Arrested For Biting Him, Ignoring Remaining Crotch Fruits


Turns out I’m not the only guy that Bristol Blarney has publicly smeared on social media after helping her rise from the gutter. Her “husband” Andrew H. Johnson has been getting emasculated by her for YEARS. Click here to read part 3 of the Trojan Ratchet series.



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50 Comment(s)
  • I'm here
    March 21, 2020 at 1:58 am

    …to chew gum and split dear Katey’s cheeks and I’m all out of gum.
    Truth be told, I didn’t bother to get any gum.
    Time to white wash her poop tube and send her on her way.

  • My Feels Waaaaahhhggggggg
    March 20, 2020 at 10:57 pm


  • Turtz McGurtz
    March 20, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Who are these lunatics that publish every minute of their redonkulous life on facebook??!!

  • Trashhole's Wife
    March 20, 2020 at 4:28 pm

    Kate is a smelly tuna fish, her buttcheeks were swallowed her cancerous fupa

  • Bristol sucks
    March 19, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    Does she honestly believe she put her 2 younger children up for adoption? Hunny, you didn’t put them up for adoption, the state decided you were unfit to parent them and THEY put those kids up for adoption. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen a ratchet pretend they put their kid up for adoption when it was actually the state. People normally don’t put fucking 4 year olds up for adoption, it’s kind of fucked up actually. I also have a 13 year old daughter, she still watches god damn Disney channel shows/movies and makes funny little Tik-Tok videos with her friends. She hasn’t ever been out to the mall, movies, arcade, etc. without an adult in the general vicinity. She wouldn’t even know WHERE to find a 17 year old boy let alone sneak around with one. That’s absolutely sad. Poor kid. Bristol can blame her past and all her and her childrens problems on her ex-husband but all she’s done since then is ditch 2/4 children and shack up with yet another druggie loser who is mentally and emotionally fucking her kids up even more than they already were. Very sad. And she has the audacity to blog/talk shit about other moms who are exactly like her? That’s straight up narcissism.

  • Sassyswede
    March 19, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    I had to stop at “He’s an addict…it’s a disease”
    No it’s freakin not a disease! A disease is socially caught or genetically inherited. It is an ADDICTION! Just like my lung snacks were when smoking was cool! Nothing less, nothing more. Gawd how I loath people who make excuses for their own behavior.

    And now, I’m back to the stfu couch in the corner with my popcorn.

  • foleyworld
    Casino Scum
    March 19, 2020 at 5:00 pm

    Her bf or husband or babies Daddy, or whatever he is to her, looks like a West Virginia hillbilly who got high on meth after a long day in the coal mines. He’d make a good extra in a remake of Deliverance.

    • almost heaven
      March 20, 2020 at 11:19 am

      you’ll find many more of that type in your local area, leave West Virginia out of your self loathing rants
      you fucktard

      • foleyworld
        West Virginia
        March 20, 2020 at 2:49 pm

        Is a 3rd World Hell hole where cousins marry and most adults are missing teeth. And they Kant spell good to !

  • randiguy2006
    Can you....
    March 19, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Please obsess over this more.

    Said no one. Ever.

  • Confused
    March 19, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    All of this was acceptable when she was part of your team though?

    • Hey asswipe
      March 20, 2020 at 5:14 pm

      He clearly wasn’t fucking aware, or at least not aware of the full extent of it. Holy fuck, you people. Either you’re accusing him of being paranoid and going after everybody arbitrarily, or you’re giving him shit for not being omniscient. Fuck all of you.

  • Anne
    March 19, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    Personality disordered people are such an enormous head trip, that it’s understandable why you write about her, to some people’s dismay. But I get it. Your mind goes through everything they’ve ever said or done, and you realize what a lie it all was. Unraveling the web is part of moving on, and some people have less patience for it than others. Screw the ones who don’t get it. You have to unfuck your own head, because when you let someone in, when you trust them, it can do a type of damage that no one else can. If you come from it learning something, you’re that much better and stronger. Hindsight is 20/20, and the red flags suddenly become more apparent. But you’ll need them again someday, because personality disordered people abound in our society. I guess that’s my way of saying that I support these posts 100%, and I find them interesting on an intrinsic level as well. She’s a case study in pathological behavior. Take care of yourself, TB. You’ve got this.

    • DudeRanchStripClub
      March 19, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      Shuuuuuuut the fuuuuuuuck up, if you can’t get a comment out in 5 sentences then go back to the drawing board.

    • George
      March 19, 2020 at 2:32 pm

      All that noise for maybe one sentence. You must be a fun date. Do you ever keep your pie hole closed?

  • Bristol Crew Kedd
    March 19, 2020 at 12:23 pm

    I cant wait for the day that turtle turd gets confronted by one of the many ratchets hes blogged about and then pow sucker punched into Bristol Turtle Chicks smelly gunt I can not wait it’s going to be the funniest fucking thing hearing him cry about how he got Massachusetts shit stomped by a pack of wild ratchets while he cries and plays victim once again dudes worse than a broad on her period while scorned what a little faggot get a life and get out of the basement I can not believe people donate their hard earned money to your ratchet account to pay your mortgage
    What are you going to do when someone targets your wife and beats her for all your stupidity

    • Bring it up fecal repository
      March 19, 2020 at 1:00 pm

      Yep wild scum always attack in large groups,never ever one on one

  • Give it up already
    March 19, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    Oh turtle boy,this girl closed her clam to you, just move on.much better and hotter shit out there

  • General Ratchetry
    March 19, 2020 at 12:00 pm

    Good ol’ Bristol. More “genius” retarded, double standard bullshit from her personal life. My current favorite from this one is her saying it’s too easy for men to “conceive” kids with her before vanishing from her life. Bitch please, men don’t CONCEIVE anything, YOU DO. Secondly, you should be lamenting why its so easy for you to RAWDOG every dick that’s unlucky enough to hang around with you too long. Fuck outta here. How did she ever live this long?

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    March 19, 2020 at 11:49 am

    It’s not a “perfect world”.

    Things get a lot easier once you realize this.

    March 19, 2020 at 11:42 am

    Hook nose, Coronavirus, Hook nose, Coronavirus, Hook nose, Coronavirus, Hook nose, Coronavirus…..WTF!!!!!!!

  • Grandma by 35
    March 19, 2020 at 11:13 am

    I feel bad for the older crotch fruits.

    The one who she lovingly refers to as a “thieving piece of shit” is clearly on a bad path & acting out for attention.

    I wonder where she learned that from?

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      March 19, 2020 at 11:34 am

      I keep reading about crotch fruits. They sound mouthwatering. I looked for them at Stop & Shop, to no avail. Do you think they’re out due to the virus scare?

      • george costanza
        The angry taint
        March 19, 2020 at 2:58 pm

        ahahahaha….great comment chief

      • Silencio Dogood
        March 20, 2020 at 4:42 am

        I’m sure Walmart has them.

  • gem
    March 19, 2020 at 11:11 am

    In MA, more people have died in Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile than of COVID-19

    • Yay
      March 19, 2020 at 11:30 am

      Good let’s try to keep it that way.

  • Borderline Snapped
    March 19, 2020 at 11:03 am

    Whoa dude.
    There’s a big difference between a reporter who writes a blog about ratchets abusing the welfare system and an angry little psychopath sitting in his basement and obsessing over someone with seething anger and unrepentant vitriol.

    • Kate Peter
      March 19, 2020 at 11:50 am

      “Vitriol”… one of bristol’s favorite words. Hey girl. Can’t stay away, huh?

      • Borderline Snapped
        March 19, 2020 at 2:49 pm

        Nice try but not anywhere near being Kate.
        I’m the one who would comment on her blogs that she sounded like GED ratchet and all you fucking queers would give me thumbs down and stick up for her.
        I had her pegged all along I just didn’t know just how ratchet she was.

  • When she says...
    March 19, 2020 at 10:50 am

    “Nah honey I’m not here to raise a little boy”

    I think we can all agree that for once, she’s telling the truth.

  • Lake Flaccid
    March 19, 2020 at 10:41 am

    How bout a fresh new “Food Stamp Friday” ?

  • mearanerin
    Move tf on
    March 19, 2020 at 10:29 am

    Shits getting old. We got the point 10 blogs ago. Move the fuck on. People are over your sick fascination with this chick.

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    March 19, 2020 at 9:56 am

    Goddamnit, I read all three of these and not only are they all basically identical but I kept thinking about how you have all this time to look into her but you couldn’t be bother to finish the series about London Steele.

    • Big fan
      March 19, 2020 at 11:57 am

      I know Turtleboy is a good reporter because he posts the same 55 screenshots in every article.

    • Vagisaurus Sexxx
      March 19, 2020 at 6:53 pm

      He wants to fuc^H ^H ^H be friends with Leigha Genduso now, so that story is spiked.

  • This is getting ridiculous
    March 19, 2020 at 9:46 am

    I remember when TB had useful news, or was at least entertaining.

    Now you sound like some rapper that no one has heard of, blathering on about the beef you have with some other no-name.


  • All that’s going on in the world and you could be doing so much good right now with your platform and your voice and instead you’re sitting on your ass blog-shaming hillbillies that nobody cares about. FUCK. YOU.
    March 19, 2020 at 9:16 am


  • We get it. She’s gay. Move on.
    March 19, 2020 at 8:11 am


  • DudeRanchStripClub
    March 19, 2020 at 7:05 am

    Dude, just rub one out and get on with your life. Jerry Springer isn’t fun to watch when he only has one guest all week.

    • whatevuh
      March 19, 2020 at 7:29 am

      agreed, I’m not even reading this idiots revenge-tour novel

  • Dana
    March 19, 2020 at 6:18 am

    Someone explain “crotch fruit” term to me please.

    • Hate Crotchfruits
      March 19, 2020 at 9:30 am

      It’s what you call kids that you hate to dehumanize them.

    • Well
      March 19, 2020 at 11:55 am

      It’s funny every time.

  • Masshole Report Sucks
    March 19, 2020 at 5:41 am

    Hey Kate, Why do you keep blocking Turtle Riders on your show and deleting all our messages? I thought you were all about free speech and transparency. I guess that is one of those things along the lines of “For me, but not thee”. Piss off bitch, your shows are not even interesting anymore.

  • Keep ‘em coming
    March 19, 2020 at 2:12 am

    Looking forward to parts 4, 5, and 6. Bristol is very good at logging in to websites and posing as someone else. What’s up with the criminal charges? Coming soon?

    March 19, 2020 at 1:59 am

    if it bothers you so much to click a link then just subcribe to that page. if you’re Obama phone is downloading massive junk then get a Samsung and quit bitching you queef.

  • Your site is sicker than coronavirus
    March 19, 2020 at 1:33 am

    Why do I have to go to another site? Why can’t you just post the site itself? So annoying. This blog is getting worse and worse. Plus it downloads massive junk to my phone. It’s like buzzed but worse. You may want to look into that. Optimization is critical.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      March 19, 2020 at 4:23 am

      Clicking one link is hard work? The whole internet must be exhausting for you.

      You should probably fuck off and have a lie down.

    • Gg
      March 19, 2020 at 6:21 am

      You obviously aren’t a turtle rider otherwise you would know the answer to that.

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