Bad Ass Worcester Dads Don’t Care That Worcester Roads Were Ice Skating Rinks Today And School Wasn’t Cancelled

Vote for Turtleboy Sports for best local blog 2015 by clicking here

Like the Turtleboy Safe Space Facebook page and the Free Turtleboy Facebook page to follow our posts when our other pages are arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, these will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

Click on the image to view all products in the Turtleboy Store.

Click on the image to view all products in the Turtleboy Store. Shirt are also available at the Union Tavern and The Buzz Barber Shop.

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.





Living in New England we’ve come to accept insane weather. We just had the most tropical winter Turtleboy can ever remember, and now it’s April and it won’t stop snowing. Not much you can do about that, but there is something the City of Worcester can do to make it easier on the people who pay taxes to live here. Ya know, like sand and treat the roads. It’s really not the hard. Such a simple concept. Yet even though we had one of the easiest winters in our history to manage, the City of Worcester just can’t stop fucking up.

There isn’t more than an inch or two of snow on the ground as Turtleboy writes this, but there might as well be two feet. Driving over Airport Road today you might as well have been living in the apocalypse. This Turtleboy drives an SUV, and should have zero problem with a little light dusting in the morning. But instead we crashed into the curb five or six times despite going no faster than 5-10 mph. Here’s a quick video right before we crashed into the curb one last time towards the bottom:

Insane. If Turtleboy drove like a maniac then he’d own it. But we were intentionally driving slower than Nana Turtleboy and had a line behind us because we were driving so slowly. You heard at the end there the sound the car made when you hit the brakes. You immediately start going into a skid. The brakes are perfectly fine, but you are literally driving on an ice skating rink while going down a hill. And there are LOTS of hills in Worcester.

unnamed (1)

Apparently Ed Augustus and DPW Chief Paul Moosey decided that they’d do NOTHING to make sure drivers in Worcester are safe. I know it’s snowing, and I know it’s a big hill, but if you can’t drive 5 mph in Worcester when we get a light dusting, than why the hell are we paying property taxes? Why does Paul Moosey collect a salary? How incompetent can you possibly be?

Here’s some more fun pictures of Worcester driving this morning:



Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.53.41 AM

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 10.19.35 AM


Meanwhile in Auburn……


They must have magical powers in Auburn. Must be tax revenue from all those chain restaurants.

Look, these idiots have had their mulligans. First there was a small storm in mid January when we had 60 car accidents in five hours. Then there was that small storm we got in late January, and a million people got in car accidents. Despite that Paul Moosey wrote an email saying that the roads were perfectly fineThe best screw up was when they declared a winter parking ban at midnight when everyone was sleeping, and then hundreds of people woke up and found their cars towed. No big deal, Ed Augustus refunded them all for his boner with taxpayer money.

How many chances do they get before we reach the conclusion that these people are beyond incompetent? Does someone have to die first? Oh wait, someone already did

Oh yea, and did I mention that they didn’t cancel or delay school? I mean, why would they? Sure you’ve got thousands of little kids riding around in a 15 ton bus with no seat belts on roads that are more conducive for bobsledding than they are driving. But that doesn’t mean we should cancel school. Everyone should just toughen up like this guy:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 9.55.17 AM

Oh man, that guy must have a huge schmenzer!!! If you don’t like getting in car accidents, then you’re a big bag of pussy!!!

Not to be outdone by this distinguished gentleman:


Yea Suzanne, how dare you care about the well being of your children!!! Only puss-bags want their kids to be safe. Gangsta Dads like this are proud to recklessly disregard the well being of their offspring:



Anyway, I thought we were done with these blogs about snow, but the ugly combination of New England weather and incompetent leadership have made it impossible for that to happen.



We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM



Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 4.54.34 PM

unnamed (1)

Liberty Tax Preparation, Greenwood StreetWormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe, Craftech Restoration, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Attorney Michael Erlich, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, Solarreviews.net, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

31 Comment(s)
  • Joe Max
    April 7, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    Anyone killed, someone had to be injured and accidents too. Guess public safety does not count for the public.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    April 5, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    Wabbit, I have said it before and people have asked what it means… here I was having to actually explain it out loud.

    Anyhow I looked again and now I’m confused. It looks like a FUPA but then Suspect makes a good point about the skirt. Maybe it’s a MuFupa hybrid.

  • Reddog
    April 5, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Hey Derek,nice place you got yourself there.

  • Right Again
    April 5, 2016 at 5:56 am

    There are NO MORE excuses, this Moosey has got to go!

  • Reddog
    April 5, 2016 at 12:15 am

    I went down airport drive towards tatnuck at 9:40pm and it wasn’t plowed,the 2 cars ahead of me(doing about 5 mph) almost hit the guardrail and there was a trailer truck stuck at the halfway down point. I think he just pulled over and said fuck it and hopped in his sleeper. You could see he basically rode the guardrail for 150′ or so. What a mess. Then I got to 122 and it was just wet. Way to go Worcester. Priorities are all fucked up when it comes to treating roads in the winter,as usual.

  • Worcesterite123
    April 4, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    My job involves driving around the city of worcester all day , it’s a miracle I didn’t get in an accident. I saw a school bus sliding on a hill and many others sliding as well. Why wasn’t school cancelled ? Why did I not see any sanders all day ? Shame on you worcester! Other towns roads were decent, why are ours always dangerous ?

  • Boss Tweed
    April 4, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    Paul Moosey is an arrogant Sturbridge resident trying to fill Moylans shoes. Shit, he can’t even shine Moylans shoes.

  • Gronkmonster
    April 4, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    I plow privately and during a storm I drive through Worcester,Auburn,Holden, and Paxton..Todays storm dragged on so I was out almost 12 hours. We did not get a lot of snow but the snow and roads were super slick..The amount of snow means nothing at all..Only a dip shit politician would make an evaluation of how the streets are by looking out a window

    I personally witnessed 2 vehicles eat the rail on Hope ave, A subaru eat the rail on June st ..1 SUV eat a pole at the hope ave rotary..Another eat a pole on Salisbury st..Those are the ones that I witnessed!! I drove by another 25 accidents today in WORCESTER!!…2 in all the other towns combined..Every other town had sanders out most of the day..Not the Woo ..I am going to guess Mr Augusta dipped into the plow account a few weeks ago and drained it when we hit 60 degree’s

  • Turtle Educator
    April 4, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    just for the record. most derick/derek/derrick/etc i know are certified 100% Grade A Douchebags.

  • Del Griffiths
    April 4, 2016 at 6:12 pm

    Scrape the sand out of your vajayjays you damn wussified fart sniffers and drive like real men… fire up the hippie plow and head onto to the roads with no fucks given. Get the eff out of my way! Yeehaw!!

    • GraftonHill
      April 5, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      Go back to selling shower curtain rings, Del.

  • Realist
    April 4, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    We live in Worcester, it snows in Worcester, it’s hilly in Worcester, it is the same every winter in Worcester! Funny how Turtleboy seems to be ” butthurt ” about the driving conditions, but would be the first one to pounce on others who bitc* and moan over something else. Hypocritical or manufactured?

    • Ted
      April 4, 2016 at 5:36 pm

      Yeah, every year it snows in Worcester, yet every year, the city administration fails to see winter coming.

  • Chris From Georgia
    April 4, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    73 and sunny here in Atlanta!!!!

  • Wabbitt
    April 4, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    Why is it that the people most likely to take shirtless pictures are either land whales or people who weigh 90 pounds and have zero muscle tone? People who can be proud of their physique seem to keep their shirts on.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 4, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      No clue! I see it so much on facebook. It is confusing because either they are really confident or someone is lying to them well enough to believe it’s a good idea.

      I have actually witnessed a friend post a picture with her FUPA hanging out over a skirt. I clicked like because I was confused. So perhaps I’m part of the problem…lol I downed a shot to help with my trauma.

      • UsualSuspect
        April 4, 2016 at 4:34 pm

        If her FUPA was hanging out that was one low slung skirt. Sure it wasn’t a muffin top?

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          April 4, 2016 at 9:39 pm

          You know what FUPA means?!?!? We are DEFINITELY going to best friends!!!!

          I don’t know to be honest. It was really low and round looking. It was BELOW her muffin top. It wasn’t bare skin the fat was obvious through her skirt. Just a chunk of fat… now I have to look again…. THANKS! *POURS SHOT*

          • Wabbitt
            April 5, 2016 at 12:39 pm

            Who doesn’t know what a FUPA is? I thought that was common internet knowledge.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          April 4, 2016 at 9:42 pm

          Twas muffin… wish I could post it here lol

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    April 4, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Wow, wow, wee wow! Look at this handsome guy with his shirt off. I’m so excited I can feel my ovaries twitch….

    Wait… nope… nope… they died. They just literally died along with my uterus and will to survive.

  • Jake from State Farm
    April 4, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Derick, why so angry? Because your insignificant, irrelevant, and your life is a joke? Great photo …… everyone is laughing at you …… gangsta huh? LOL

  • Mike
    April 4, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    I needed to go out this am and traveled on Worcester, Holden and W Boylston roads. Worcester streets were horrible, snow covered, both Holden and W Boylston were just wet. W mountain st was a joke, cars everywhere.
    It is time for the DPW head to go. he has proven time and time again that he is incompetent.

  • Normal Man
    April 4, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    Edwina Augustus is too preoccupied with ensuring that Worcester maintain its perfect LGBT Municipal Equity Index score for himself and his fellow travelers to worry about anything so mundane as the safety of psychologically normal families. So, no sand- SUCKERS!

    • Ringo
      April 4, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      As long as Skyline Drive, Portland Street and the Library lot is plowed, that’s all that matters to some in this city.

  • Tomb
    April 4, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    After 20 minutes of waiting to get by the downed wires caused by the pick up truck crashing into the telephone pole on Heard Street, I passed two salt/sand trucks parked under the bridge on Hope Ave then saw another pulled off the side of the road on the Burncoat St on ramp. The sanders and salters were out, they just weren’t sanding and salting! Par for the course!

  • Suzanne Vantre
    April 4, 2016 at 11:55 am

    He can say whatever he likes, I married the love of my life! 24 years together 16 married, not at all lonely 🙂

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 4, 2016 at 1:48 pm

      Congrats that’s a long, long time! 😉

  • At work
    April 4, 2016 at 10:57 am

    Roads were nasty nasty today. Almost hit the car in front of me at the Salisbury/Park Avenue intersection. I thought I was crawling but I ended up sliding far down that Hill anyway. Very disappointed with the city.

  • BlackandWhite
    April 4, 2016 at 10:49 am

    At least it’s not opening day at Fenway.

  • fordsnharleys
    April 4, 2016 at 10:34 am

    My my Derick! Your language. Just because Suzanne used effect incorrectly that does not give you the right to use the wrong form of their.

Comment on this Post


Who Are Top 20 Most Annoying Facebook Posters?
Woman On Facebook Really Hates Super Chinese Buffet In Worcester, Writes Magnificent Comments On Facebook
Worcester Police Internal Affairs Answered People’s Magnificent Questions On Facebook And It Was Fantastic