Smiles And Sunshine

Battle Royale – Announcing Nathan “The Methbrain Messiah” Thompson vs. Bristol “The Bitch Bites” Turtlechick In An Epic Showdown Debate

Tomorrow, Friday April 26th at 10pm EST let’s get ready to rumble, because Flat Earth Conspiracy Theorist, car dweller,  and habitual drunken offender Nathan “Methbrain Messiah” Thompson and our own resident foul mouthed insufferable cunt, confrontation-enthusiast, and everyone’s least favorite blogger, Bristol Turtlechick are going head to head in a debate for the ages.

 

 

That’s right, we’re throwing down the gauntlet, folks.

 

If you haven’t yet, you should definitely subscribe to our Youtube channel so you can tune in tomorrow night – it should be enlightening and entertaining, as Natedog is going to school us all in his sighentifik faks and nawledge. You can click on the picture below to get to our channel and subscribe.

So you can all watch me get utterly decimated by a clearly intellectual superior mind, live and in color. We’ll be putting it up on the site the following day, obviously, but we are doing an Oxford-style debate, so if you watch it live, you’ll have an opportunity to pose questions and pick the brain of this super successful, genius higher thinker.

 

 

I don’t stand a chance. I’ve finally met my match – and he lives in a Fiat.

 

This debate will be judged on two levels – one, by a scoring rubric by our Moderator, and two – by a viewer poll we’ll put out the day after the debate. Although it’s set that winner gets nothing but bragging rights, and despite the fact that Nathan is definitely going to defeat me with his super intelligent words and superior grip on reality, I’m willing to up the ante and wager $100 paid by the loser, to the registered 501c(3) charity of the winner’s choice. Up to you, Natedog.

Anyway, I’m going to enjoy my last few hours being able to show my face in the daylight before you go and sully my pristine name.

 

See you guys tomorrow night at 10pm!

 

22 Comment(s)
  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 26, 2019 at 2:41 am

    This will be funny as fuck. And over in the first seconds of the first round.

    “Dear Nate,
    We went to space and took a picture.
    Now off you fuck.
    The End.
    Love,
    Dick”

  • Bobs And Vegene
    April 25, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    This idiot has no idea what he’s in for…..good. Bristol is going to destroy him.

  • Captain I Jokeum
    April 25, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Hope Nathan has his vampire girlfriend with him , would be great to get her to confirm he’s addicted to porn and does he have one of those tiny deadpool hands to grease his tiny poop poker.

  • The earth is krrakt
    April 25, 2019 at 7:07 pm

    He can’t mute you so I’ll bet one bespoke wank sock boomerang and a slightly used crack pipe that he bitches out and leaves.

  • Revrun Fishknuckle
    April 25, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    My prediction, Nathan’s gonna no-show. I’d stand in to debate Bristol but 10PM is waaaay too late for me..

  • McElroy
    April 25, 2019 at 4:52 pm

    Nathan,
    You don’t stand a chance, pal! If you have read anything Bristol has ever written, you’d know she’s far too smart and far too fast for a dope that actually believes the earth is flat. Can’t wait to watch her reduce you to a cowering nitwit! …shouldn’t take long.

  • Mom’s Basement
    April 25, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    If he ends up sounding like he knows his stuff ask him about magnets. What’s up with those things.

  • Nathan's Meth Dealer
    April 25, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    My moneys on Bristol, man, because all of Nathan’s money is currently on me!

  • AnonChill
    April 25, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    This is gonna be the debate of all Flat Earth debates. The World is watching & documenting everything

  • Flat earthers are retards
    April 25, 2019 at 4:03 pm

    Flat earthers are the special kids from middle school. They believe in bigfoot, aliens and leprechauns.

    • Tommy Two Times
      April 25, 2019 at 8:28 pm

      When you say Bigfoot, aliens and leprechauns are you referring to blacks, Hispanics and Irishmen or am I just silly that way

  • Michelle Olson
    Lounge Lizard
    April 25, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    Bristol is one smart cookie so my bet will always be on her. I’m interested to see his stance as he apparently “LOVES” all things except when it comes to a non-believer. That’s when he pussies out and runs off to Michael Ice to trying to shut the non-believers/closed-thinkers down. Is he going to have Pete Svarrior, Tom Bishop or Michael Ice hold his hand through this debate since they don’t technically side with Mark Sargeant’s documentary? This is going to be amazing, I can’t wait!!!

  • The angry taint
    pythagoras
    April 25, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    i have 100 drachma on you bristol to redeem me

  • Dr. Spaceman
    April 25, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    The scientific community will be watching closely. Neil Degrasse Tyson told me just minutes ago through his representatives that with his life’s work on the line his stomach is in knots. Godspeed Bristol. Godspeed.

    • April 25, 2019 at 3:11 pm

      Oh, I know. This is it – make it or break it, and Nathan is truly a formidable adversary. Newton and Eisenstein’s ghosts are a wreck, too. Pythagoras is going to haunt the fuck out of me if I blow this.

  • Flat Earth Destroyer
    April 25, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    He is already praying to the Fiat gods to help him tomorrow and not get triggered in the first five minutes

  • Jabroni Jones
    April 25, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    Go get him, Bristol!!!
    Time to destroy the head flerf!

  • Fiat Salesman
    April 25, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    That little puke is 2 months behind on his car payments. Sending my guys to the edge of the earth to repo it.

    • Jabroni Jones
      April 25, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      Nooooooo! Not the #FiatPenthouse!!!!!

  • Siskel
    April 25, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    A Barn Burner for sure! Go get him Bristol!

  • warpedhead
    Lurker
    April 25, 2019 at 2:32 pm

    I can’t vote Until I know if it’s that time of the month for Bristol Turtlechick…:)

    • April 25, 2019 at 2:43 pm

      It’s always that time of the month for me 😉

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History
I Am Turtleboy
Jeff Bauman Sends Big F You To Terrorist #2 By Impregnating Fiance