All-Star Criminals

Bootleg John McCain Stole $660K In PPP Loans To Run Off To Vermont And Start Alpaca Farm After Getting Exposed On Turtleboy For Doxxing Customers Who Left Bad Reviews About His Shitty Pizza


Last June we blogged about Dana McIntyre, the owner of Rasta Pasta Pizzeria in Beverly, after he responded to a completely justified negative review of his shitty $30 lobster pizza by posting the addresses and phone numbers of dissatisfied customers in the replies.

He was also a big crypto bro.

And there’s nothing crypto bros like doing more than telling you why you should be using crypto.

Well, Dana is back in the news again because he defrauded the government by pretending to have more employees than he had in order to obtain PPP loans that he ended up spending on an alpaca farm:

Federal prosecutors say a former North Shore business owner grossly inflated the number of employees and payroll at his Beverly pizza shop to fraudulently obtain federal COVID-19 relief funds — which he used to buy a farm and some alpacas. Dana McIntyre, 57, the former owner of Rasta Pasta Pizzeria, was arrested Tuesday morning and is expected to make an initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Boston on Tuesday afternoon. He is charged with wire fraud and money laundering. 

According to court papers, McIntyre obtained more than $661,000 in Payroll Protection Program loan funds last year by claiming that he had 47 employees and a monthly payroll of $265,000 at his small pizza shop in a strip mall on Cabot Street. But he used different figures while filing for Economic Injury Disaster Loans and on past tax filings, leading investigators to conclude that McIntyre’s pizza shop never had more than 10 employees on its payroll. Investigators also allege that McIntyre set up fictitious companies in his children’s names in an attempt to obtain disaster loans. 

Wait….he used his kid’s names to set up fake companies to try to get disaster loans? The same grown kids who hate him and immediately sold him out the second he got called out on Turtleboy?
Well, at least his kids are good for something.

After obtaining the PPP funds, McIntyre, who had lived in Essex, sold the pizza shop and used the money to buy a farm in Grafton, Vermont, pay for upgrades to the home and property, and purchase “several” alpacas, according to court papers. McIntyre also allegedly used PPP funds to pay for a classic 1950 Hudson, a GMC Sierra truck and $6,500 to pay for airtime on WBOQ, a North Shore radio station, to host a paid program called “The Dana Crypto Show” where he talked about cryptocurrency. 

Of course he bought air time on a radio station no one listens to so he can rant about crypto. Funny thought, when he defrauded the taxpayers he accepted government backed cash instead of crypto. Almost like he knows that money be green. Money look like money.

He’s invested at least $25 of the money he stole into the website too.

It’s too bad too because the Alpaca farm was set to open this week!

There were so many fun activities we could’ve enjoyed, like a romantic $200 wine, cheese, and alpacas package.

You can bring your autistic kid there to play with his alpacas on the Somali pirate diet.

And he’s got a stud alpaca whose entire reason for existing is to fuck other alpacas and make baby alpacas, because demand for alpacas in this country has never been higher.

I for one am shocked that the guy who doxxed a bunch of angry customers who were understandably upset about his bootleg lobster pizza would be this dumb and obvious. I mean, who didn’t scam the government a little during COVID? Do you know how many people were on unemployment who didn’t need to be? Or applied for these loans and got them but were still making money in different ways? All you had to do was not put different amounts of employees on different forms and then run off to Vermont to start an alpaca farm, but bootleg John McCain here got greedy and now his ass is going to jail.



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22 Comment(s)
  • Bob Mahhhley
    May 7, 2021 at 8:56 am

    Had pizza last night from new owners–it was good, not like the lousy one I’d had under his ownership. On his FB he took down the “this is bullshit” post. Not
    acknowledging his show is now off WBOQ, he promised his crypto show will be adding more stations in more cities as of Sept.

  • The King, Elvis Presley
    May 5, 2021 at 10:08 am

    What a complete fucking retard.

    You imagine opening the pizza box and half a fucking Lobster is upright towards you like a chestbuster from Aliens.

    Nothing more New England than, “gay man absconds with alpacas”

  • P Disguisee
    Pistachio Disguisee
    May 4, 2021 at 10:12 pm

    Your new pop-up ads suck Aiden…

  • Peter Dautel
    North Shore Mafia
    May 4, 2021 at 8:32 pm

    No worries. He’s done.

    We don’t care for his kind round here. Soon, he’ll be putting his house up.

  • Chris Tranos
    May 4, 2021 at 7:15 pm

    Dana is a fucking runt with a big mouth. Some in town say he likes to suck cock

  • Mr. Thirsty
    May 4, 2021 at 6:16 pm

    The new business has no Google reviews. I can’t believe there are no troll reviews somehow merging alpacas and a lack of lobster on pizza.

  • Orion
    May 4, 2021 at 4:34 pm

    So he really is a lying, crazy piece of shit? Who knew!

  • Hamdia Ahmed
    May 4, 2021 at 4:15 pm

    He learned how to be professional grifter and scammer like ME. If he was Somali, he’d get to throw baseball, cry racist and white supreeemacist, and collect SSI and Sec 8. Stop sending people to look into my mothers house. I am sick. I whine all day. I am tired of being called a Terrorist

  • Enquiring Mind
    May 4, 2021 at 3:24 pm

    ” Who didn’t scam the government a little during COVID”? And how much did he fleece from Uncle Sam?

  • Julia’s Child
    May 4, 2021 at 3:13 pm

    I hear that his new Alpaca Pizza is yummy.

  • Moose Alpaca
    May 4, 2021 at 3:10 pm

    This ape named his pizza joint rasta pasta pizzeria. He’s as white as a ghost. I am surprised we don’t have Beast Lightening or Monica Gunt Cannon Tits shouting “cultural appropriation”. I am sure it could spin up another $10k in GoFundme. Come on activists, you guys are slipping.

  • Narcanista
    May 4, 2021 at 2:33 pm

    On youtube, search for “Alpaca Sex” to see what goes down with this species. It’s literally the bad sex you were warned about after 10 years of marriage. Grew up on a farm. Not gonna lie. Sheep are into it, goats are not but they will co-operate because they try to please. If an alpaca is your last option, you need to forego all options.

  • Elegant Elliot Offen
    May 4, 2021 at 2:19 pm

    Those pizzas look like the last shit I took,minus the half lobster body shell

    • Poops Magee
      May 4, 2021 at 6:24 pm

      Those pizzas look like the last shit I took, INCLUDING the half lobster body shell.

    • Dr. Ed
      May 4, 2021 at 6:53 pm

      I wouldn’t want to eat a pizza that was cooked with a half body lobster shell — there is nothing in that part of the shell worth eating and it is going to make the pizza taste like shit….

  • Donald J Trump
    May 4, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    I like pizza owners that weren’t captured.

  • Michael S Goodman
    May 4, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    $40. for a pizza? Even if it has lobster! LOL

  • I went to school with him!
    May 4, 2021 at 1:32 pm

    But we were in different grades, so I didn’t really know him.

    • I actually did go to school with him
      May 4, 2021 at 1:55 pm

      and in the late 70’s he was caught in a male prostitution sting at a rest stop on the mass pike. It was in the Globe.

  • Harry Callahan
    May 4, 2021 at 1:29 pm

    This asshat is just the tip of the iceberg. My estimate is that more than 50% of the PPP dough was obtained fraudulently. The bill is going to come due for creating all of these trillions out of thin air and it will get very ugly. Maybe even ugly than camel toe harris.

  • Ray Patriarcas Consigliere
    May 4, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    A Cunt

    • Jalajhia's runny snatch
      May 5, 2021 at 3:23 am

      A weak little bitch, he loves boy cock

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