If you read anything today – read this. Just promise me you’ll pee first to save yourself a change of clothes.

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Every so often we find something from out of our New England zone that just about kills us dead. It’s so funny that we can’t help but feature it in our blog. 

This one just so happened to cause me to wake the kids up because I was laughing so loud. No, it wasn’t that he had white shit on the side of his mouth. It was the fact that his skull looks a rotted cantaloupe. 

His name is Rufus Gates and he got slaughtered in one of the most miraculous Facebook threads ever to grace the Internet. It’s straight gold. 

This guy committed a crime in South Carolina. Robbed a child’s birthday party, which happened to be taking place in a hotel room, at gun point. So, I guess you can say that he deserves this web-lashing.

I was going to do a top ten but there were just so many of them that I couldn’t choose. Here are the best responses:

If everyone could just take a second to step away from politics and just unite to make fun of this guy’s dome, like these people did, the world would be a much better place.

This next one is the one was the one that caused me to accidentally wake the kids up with my scream laugh. The raisin pun almost killed me.

I still have tears rolling down my cheeks. I sent it to nine of my friends almost immediately and I don’t share anything. Thank you Internet. Thank you from the bottom of my cold, dead, heart.