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Braintree Bologna Bro Fresh Out Of Jail Threatens To Decapitate Turtleboy, Ends Up Sending Dick Pics To Desk Girl Via Our Business Facebook Page 

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Ya never know what’s gonna happen when a jilted friend or fam of a ratchet messages Desk Girl on Facebook. For instance, this is Brendan Clark from Braintree:

And he’s fired up about a recent blog we published…..

So he’s here to defend the honor of “my best friend girl.” Which narrows it down to about half the blogs we’ve ever published. According to him we have also done a writeup on his antics as well:

Yea, still no clue what he’s trying to convey in that failed attempt at the English language. All I took from it is, someone at Turtleboy is getting their head chopped off, and he just got out of the Dedham House of Corrections, found out what Turtleboy was, and is wisely doing things that will brig him right back to the DHC.

Also fascinating how he has no problem telling Deskie he’s gonna decapitate her, but still feels the need to censor his own cuss words. Real gentleman right here.

As you can see, he was pretty pissed at this point. But that changed real quick once Deskie started putting the moves on him….

Come on Deskie, keep it in your pants!!

Next thing you know the conversation turned into discussion of exercising his second amendment rights and girth….

Geez Louise, what does this look like, the house of many cums??!!!

Get it Deskie!!!

You’re doing good so far Abi. You might actually find a guy who is willing to make you his biggest regret. Just whatever you do, for once, DON’T MENTION YOUR IBS!!! Please…..

OK stop right there. This is a violation of company protocol, and we’re gonna have to speak to the board of trustees about this one. If you’re gonna solicit dick pics on company time, use your private account – not our shadow banned Facebook business page!!

Then things started getting really kinky…..

Oh for fuck’s sake….

*You’re. And at this point it was really only a matter of time until Turtleboy Sports had its first #MeToo moment, thanks to our sexually repressed minimum wage desk girl.

Then things got weirder…..

It couldn’t get any worse than this.

Until it did…..

Well, looks like I’m never going in the inbox again. Thanks Deskie!! Now every pervatron we’ve ever blogged about is gonna be sending us spam javelin selfies. Very unprofessional!!

We deal with a lot of dumb people at Turtleboy Sports, but sending dick pics to our Facebook page and assuming they’d remain private, that’s new level stupidity.

Anyway, welcome to a day in the life of Turtleboy. This is what we deal with on a daily basis, just not this sexy usually. It was a remarkable conversation though. It began with him threatening to find and guillotine Turtleboy on behalf of his friend’s girlfriend and ended with him sending dick pics to a very naughty ginger with no filter.

I love my job.

21 Comment(s)
  • Useless space
    April 12, 2018 at 2:41 am

    It’s absolutely mindboggling that someone could be this fuckin stupid in the world. Like did he really believe he was talking to someone other than TB or that his cross dressing and dick pics weren’t going to be made into a headlining article?? What a fckin tool and serious waste of oxygen.

  • SCTR
    April 9, 2018 at 10:39 pm

    My eyes —-must douse with eye bleach and steel
    wool. Deskie pulled him right into that one!

  • Wednesday's Child
    April 9, 2018 at 9:25 am

    I like the part when he said he got crushed by carrots.

  • IBS
    April 9, 2018 at 9:16 am

    If Deskie picks up his ice coffee habit whatever’s left of the bathroom at Turtleboy HQ will have to be quarantined

  • MrSparklepants
    April 9, 2018 at 8:43 am

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if Masslive did stuff like this?

    • panzer9811
      April 9, 2018 at 9:11 am

      Jesus, Masslive is pathetic with their censorship of commenting. I am regularly deleted for speaking the truth, or expressing my political opinion of political articles. I have been deleted for calling a hit and run driver a “low-life”, pedophiles, “scumbags”, using the word “ass” in a comment about a story containing the word “ass” in the headline, and less.
      Yesterday I commented on some dumbass who was arrested for driving his Camaro 100mph through a residential neighborhood in Ludlow. All I said was, “What a moron. He’s lucky he didn’t kill someone.” POOF! “content disabled” I shit you not.
      No foul language or threats, etc.
      Masslive hates panzer, that’s why I started coming here.
      Thanks TB for allowing commenters the freedom to express their thoughts.

  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    April 9, 2018 at 8:29 am

    Has anyone founds this mongoloids baseball?

    • panzer9811
      April 9, 2018 at 1:09 pm

      LMAO!!! I think it’s behind his ear.

  • Tom
    April 8, 2018 at 10:33 pm

    TB going full #MeToo. Liberal extremism getting stronger and stronger here every day.

  • Sloppy
    April 8, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    Ha ha, that guy probably took it up the ass in jail, and then he comes out and takes it right in the ass again from this blog! Poor fucking mess bastard…

  • Intrepid Butt Spelunker (IBS)
    April 8, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    So sorry to hear about your IBS.
    Maybe I could do something to help you with that, at least reverse the flow temporarily.
    Does the kid realize you harvest souls as a ginger?

  • Dom & Rex Miller - RTR&R
    April 8, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    Couldn’t find a Brendan Clark from Braintree on FB, what he go under?
    From Braintree, do not recognize, will make him famous!
    The Millers

  • A. Friend
    April 8, 2018 at 8:15 pm

    i have motorcycle, and er… a moped, I mean I ride a bike because I don’t have a license. I’m guessing if he was was in DHOC, it was for being an unregistered sex offender. And wanting to get banged up the the poop shoot with an eight inch dildo? Dude, you got some serious issues

  • Sarah Gannon
    April 8, 2018 at 8:13 pm

    This was hands-down the funniest one ever so far!!!

  • Just Gay For The Stay
    April 8, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    Holy FUCK. My IBS is flaring up after reading this! I’ll bet when he was in the can he had more miles of dick in him than the Callahan Tunnel had cars

  • NR
    April 8, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    Oh come on, show the little Wiener schnitzel. He wants to be pegged with at least 8 inches…not sure she’ll be able to do a little friendly reach around based on the 2nd pic. Pretty much hit every topic…bondage, anal, squirting, pegging, cross dressing…all before he even gave his name. But no license to get there…I’ll just bet he’d risk it on his moped…

  • Brother Turtle
    April 8, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    All women enjoy being raped more than receiving unsolicited dick pics from random men.

  • TJB
    April 8, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    The purple dress… that’s a corpse, right?

  • Screw PC
    April 8, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    No comment needed. That faggot is probably going to kill himself now. I’m not about to kick him at his lowest point. Anyway, now you know how he passed the time in jail.

  • BabyWangsta
    April 8, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    Is this another one of Baby Gangsta’s boys from the mean streets of Braintree?

  • Darkzilla21
    April 8, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    my eye`s they…burn stop just ..omfg…they burn!!!!!!!!!!

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