I’m pleased to announce that the first ever Turtleboy Golf Tournament will be taking place at Kettle Brook Golf Club in Paxton on Columbus Day, Monday October 12, at 10 AM. Here’s the details:
- We need a minimum of 100 golfers to sign up in order to do a shotgun start where everybody tees off at the same time on different holes
- If we get under 100 golfers (I’m pretty confident we can get over 100) then they do tee times every 9 minutes
- Registration would be at 9 AM, but you must sign up in advance
- Price to register is $125, or $400 if you can put a foursome together, and includes a cart, scoring, free specialty made Turtleboy golf t-shirt, and a luncheon buffet
- There will be raffles afterwards, and if you would like to donate something to the giveaway please contact turtleboysportsgolf@gmail.com.
- We are looking for people or businesses who want to sponsor each hole for $100 each. Sponsorship means you get a sign at the beginning of the hole that says the name of your business or whoever sponsored that hole.
- I am looking for a charity to donate 10% of all proceeds to. I have a couple in mind, and would prefer to work with a group that exists to help local at risk children, or anyone else representing the kind of people who are hurt by people we blog about. Email me at turtleboysports@gmail.com if you have any ideas.
Click here to register to golf or sponsor a hole. I’m really looking forward to this and meeting some turtle riders. I chose Kettle Brook because it’s owned by the good folks who own Wachusett Country Club, which bravely defied Charlie Baker’s lockdown orders and got him to back down and begin opening up the state.
48 Comment(s)
My apologies to all,
This year’s golf outing has been cancelled, but don’t fret!
I will be personally hosting at my residence, a game of cornhole, with a prize TBD! We will also be serving a delectable assortment of finger sandwiches at a modest price. Just to note, all costs mentioned earlier will remain the same!
Love me!
I bet you Kate Batista is good for a hole in one!but honestly if I were you I would aim for her mouth peice.That skag is louder than a fall river rusty forcep when cash assistance is late.Unc don’t forget to place a golf bag over her big ass forehead,,,,, and you better hope goldie locks there dont come by and happy Gilmore a bitch.I heard she used to box and once beat the brakes off 2 rican broads at a red light 6 years back because they kept pushing the walk sign.It was so well received by the tpd that they gave her a high five,a wink, and a pass.
And Bristol, she bites. Isn’t leigha running this golf show?Maybe she can finish what the dog started God willing.meet me by the corona buffet table after I tell jules that you gave jessica a stuffed shell,,,,,,Forrrreeeeee!
you are the bees knees, true genius, Unc turtle shart! All of your followers can’t even afford an ice cream cone on payday! Good luck with selling more than 2 tickets…. I know that Ida and randee’s colostomy bag will be the first and only two to show up.
We have seen some of your following and sadly none can afford mini golf & u people cant even sell 20 tickets to a bake sale and you want 100+ golfers? R u kidding me?
We have seen some of your following and sadly none can afford mini gold and You people cant even sell 20 tickets to a bake sale and you want 100+ golfers? R u kidding me?
better bring security aiden
Can you donate to a fathers rights group?
In Massachusetts, fathers have zero rights in the family courts.
Golf at 9:00 am on a Monday? Wouldn’t it be way more fun to rent out a VFW, get drunk, cough on Karens when they call the cops and watch Charlie Baker give a tearful press conference about it the next day?
Julie is going to tell Aidan there is a BLM supporter wearing Jorts, parked in a handi cap spot, with a Hampton Beach sticker on his bumper which will immediately trigger him causing to stomp off with cell phone held up in recon mode. With her plan hatched she will proclaim to The assemble motley crew of rejects “ no need to wait for a hundred or to tee off every 9 minutes….(fires shotgun in the air) all holes are open and willing! Unc hears the shot but is too distracted filming everyone and everything in the parking lot to realize everyone is being served pot roast at Julies Frye buffet!
Spics love pot roast and other cheap cuts of meat from Walmart. Isn’t Unc’s wife Hispanic?
Could you imagine if all the notorious names on this comment group showed up and let everyone know who they were? Talk about a FREAK show! Even worse is hoping to eek out a living making money off of them…..oh wait that is already happening. This is going to flop like Uncs advances on Kate Peter. Free dic pic
For the first 100 people who show up!
Do you have panaramic?
So some lucky charity is going to get like $200?
More like $1,000. You must’ve taken math courses online via remote learning
Poor Snarky. He can do math but other things go over his head. Probably wonders why he is different color than his dad.
Cannot WAIT to see the Fyre Festival style “luncheon buffet” this event delivers.
This will be a bigger congregation of fags than Pride Day in San Fran. Maximum 350 inches of dick per 100 golfers guaranteed. Have fun at the Circle Jerk.
Maximum 350 inches of dick – that’s just me alone!
-Big Stein
Haha! I think that comes out to a 29 foot hog – congrats, bro!
Got “dick-on-the-brain” much?
So…you hear “Golf Tournament” and you start…what….adding up all the potential hogs in your head??
Wtf???
Let’s hope Langdon Steel has his Barrett .50 in the woods and sees Unc………
WORCESTER – Police are investigating two separate double shootings overnight Sunday that left at least one person dead, according to multiple sources.
10%?
You cant be serious.
I hope you meant 100% and thats a typo.
It’s gotta be a typo.
Typos always urin everything.
Fuck this
My foursome : me, Racial Rollins, Ayanna Pressley and Monica the fat ho
what about me?
He’ll need a caddy. His MSP driver has to guard the cruiser.
I just might sponsor a hoo, I mean hole.
I’ll be there, for sure. As an American of Italian heritage, I strongly support the Columbus Day festivities.
If you could get Kirk to join the tournament you’d really clean up. He’s a scratch golfer and a beloved local legend. You could charge $500 a hole.
Can you tape the kikes trying to play sports? We all need a good laugh.
Why don’t you come out of your mother’s basement for a round? Oh wait, the shock of daylight might be too much for you.
Put down your Nazi dolls and play a round with your fellow Turtle Riders.
Will there be hot beer cart girls?
Gonna have to sit this one out. I had a terrible accident. I was using the ball washer and sustained serious injuries when I fell off of it.
I’ll be serving pieces of shit for breakfast. I heard you like that.
The price is wrong bitch!
You JACKASS!!!
Sorry but im not a huge Golf person… Never really got into it.. That being said I do know many many others who absolutely love golf and play every chance they get…. So I figured I’d just take this opportunity to sponsor a hole to show my support!
I expect that left wingers will want to leave “Judge Dread”, “Angry White Dad”, and “HUGH MUNGOUS” alone, especially when they have a 9 iron in hand.
What a complete joke. If there are 100 losers willing to play golf to support you I will laugh my ass off. Custom made TB shirts….
Haaaaa haaaa! Why not just do a gangbang movie where we stuff shit in your holes for charity. Each nostril can be sponsored. Your wife Julie would be on the table next to you but here holes are all free.
Starting your Monday and your week reading a blog you apparently don’t care for and projecting this filthy fantasy of yours!
Which column were you featured in?
Can you just for a second imagine Unc splayed our on a table with Josh underneath while Bucket boys slides into Unc’s stench trench from the top. Rian Waters and Gaffney stretching out his honker tunnels while the Buffalo Blogger fiddles his tiny sack. I can here his screams for free speech and how he vows to get revenge. Unc will never be able to fart or blow his nose again.
Columbus Day triggered you, eh???
I bet you suck at golf
The better tax paying businesses do the better leftist parasites do. Not sure how this concept is lost on you people but prosperity is good even for the people who hate to see it.