Smiles And Sunshine

Breaking New: Signups For First Ever Turtleboy Golf Tournament At Kettle Brook Golf Club On Columbus Day Have Officially Begun 

 

 

I’m pleased to announce that the first ever Turtleboy Golf Tournament will be taking place at Kettle Brook Golf Club in Paxton on Columbus Day, Monday October 12, at 10 AM. Here’s the details:

  • We need a minimum of 100 golfers to sign up in order to do a shotgun start where everybody tees off at the same time on different holes
  • If we get under 100 golfers (I’m pretty confident we can get over 100) then they do tee times every 9 minutes
  • Registration would be at 9 AM, but you must sign up in advance
  • Price to register is $125, or $400 if you can put a foursome together, and includes a cart, scoring, free specialty made Turtleboy golf t-shirt, and a luncheon buffet
  • There will be raffles afterwards, and if you would like to donate something to the giveaway please contact [email protected]
  • We are looking for people or businesses who want to sponsor each hole for $100 each. Sponsorship means you get a sign at the beginning of the hole that says the name of your business or whoever sponsored that hole.
  • I am looking for a charity to donate 10% of all proceeds to. I have a couple in mind, and would prefer to work with a group that exists to help local at risk children, or anyone else representing the kind of people who are hurt by people we blog about. Email me at [email protected] if you have any ideas.

Click here to register to golf or sponsor a hole. I’m really looking forward to this and meeting some turtle riders. I chose Kettle Brook because it’s owned by the good folks who own Wachusett Country Club, which bravely defied Charlie Baker’s lockdown orders and got him to back down and begin opening up the state.

 

 

48 Comment(s)
  • Holey rollers
    August 25, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    My apologies to all,
    This year’s golf outing has been cancelled, but don’t fret!
    I will be personally hosting at my residence, a game of cornhole, with a prize TBD! We will also be serving a delectable assortment of finger sandwiches at a modest price. Just to note, all costs mentioned earlier will remain the same!
    Love me!

  • Officer Scareface, CEO
    August 21, 2020 at 1:25 am

    I bet you Kate Batista is good for a hole in one!but honestly if I were you I would aim for her mouth peice.That skag is louder than a fall river rusty forcep when cash assistance is late.Unc don’t forget to place a golf bag over her big ass forehead,,,,, and you better hope goldie locks there dont come by and happy Gilmore a bitch.I heard she used to box and once beat the brakes off 2 rican broads at a red light 6 years back because they kept pushing the walk sign.It was so well received by the tpd that they gave her a high five,a wink, and a pass.
    And Bristol, she bites. Isn’t leigha running this golf show?Maybe she can finish what the dog started God willing.meet me by the corona buffet table after I tell jules that you gave jessica a stuffed shell,,,,,,Forrrreeeeee!

  • Randee’s Fart Bag
    August 19, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    you are the bees knees, true genius, Unc turtle shart! All of your followers can’t even afford an ice cream cone on payday! Good luck with selling more than 2 tickets…. I know that Ida and randee’s colostomy bag will be the first and only two to show up.

  • White Strips For AK
    August 19, 2020 at 5:52 pm

    We have seen some of your following and sadly none can afford mini golf & u people cant even sell 20 tickets to a bake sale and you want 100+ golfers? R u kidding me?

  • White Strips For AK
    August 19, 2020 at 5:47 pm

    We have seen some of your following and sadly none can afford mini gold and You people cant even sell 20 tickets to a bake sale and you want 100+ golfers? R u kidding me?

  • Pimento Sandwhich
    August 19, 2020 at 2:45 pm

    better bring security aiden

  • Kate peter
    August 17, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    Can you donate to a fathers rights group?
    In Massachusetts, fathers have zero rights in the family courts.

  • Guinea Geisha
    August 17, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    Golf at 9:00 am on a Monday? Wouldn’t it be way more fun to rent out a VFW, get drunk, cough on Karens when they call the cops and watch Charlie Baker give a tearful press conference about it the next day?

  • Julies Frye All in One Hole Buffet
    August 17, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    Julie is going to tell Aidan there is a BLM supporter wearing Jorts, parked in a handi cap spot, with a Hampton Beach sticker on his bumper which will immediately trigger him causing to stomp off with cell phone held up in recon mode. With her plan hatched she will proclaim to The assemble motley crew of rejects “ no need to wait for a hundred or to tee off every 9 minutes….(fires shotgun in the air) all holes are open and willing! Unc hears the shot but is too distracted filming everyone and everything in the parking lot to realize everyone is being served pot roast at Julies Frye buffet!

    • Spic Tormentor
      August 17, 2020 at 5:16 pm

      Spics love pot roast and other cheap cuts of meat from Walmart. Isn’t Unc’s wife Hispanic?

  • Freak Show Flopper
    August 17, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    Could you imagine if all the notorious names on this comment group showed up and let everyone know who they were? Talk about a FREAK show! Even worse is hoping to eek out a living making money off of them…..oh wait that is already happening. This is going to flop like Uncs advances on Kate Peter. Free dic pic
    For the first 100 people who show up!

    • Mr Slong
      August 17, 2020 at 3:18 pm

      Do you have panaramic?

  • 10% lol
    August 17, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    So some lucky charity is going to get like $200?

    • Snarky Pete
      August 17, 2020 at 1:24 pm

      More like $1,000. You must’ve taken math courses online via remote learning

      • Mocha Brown Snarky
        August 17, 2020 at 4:17 pm

        Poor Snarky. He can do math but other things go over his head. Probably wonders why he is different color than his dad.

  • Ja Rule
    August 17, 2020 at 11:55 am

    Cannot WAIT to see the Fyre Festival style “luncheon buffet” this event delivers.

  • .
    August 17, 2020 at 11:49 am

    This will be a bigger congregation of fags than Pride Day in San Fran. Maximum 350 inches of dick per 100 golfers guaranteed. Have fun at the Circle Jerk.

    • !
      August 17, 2020 at 11:52 am

      Maximum 350 inches of dick – that’s just me alone!

      -Big Stein

      • .
        August 17, 2020 at 11:53 am

        Haha! I think that comes out to a 29 foot hog – congrats, bro!

    • Get a hobby, hog-breath!
      August 17, 2020 at 7:34 pm

      Got “dick-on-the-brain” much?
      So…you hear “Golf Tournament” and you start…what….adding up all the potential hogs in your head??

      Wtf???

  • Langdon in the Rough
    August 17, 2020 at 11:46 am

    Let’s hope Langdon Steel has his Barrett .50 in the woods and sees Unc………

  • Worcester Boons Go!
    August 17, 2020 at 11:44 am

    WORCESTER – Police are investigating two separate double shootings overnight Sunday that left at least one person dead, according to multiple sources.

  • WTF
    August 17, 2020 at 10:31 am

    10%?

    You cant be serious.

    I hope you meant 100% and thats a typo.

    • Tom Blackburn
      August 17, 2020 at 7:45 pm

      It’s gotta be a typo.

      • Guinea Geisha
        August 17, 2020 at 9:46 pm

        Typos always urin everything.

  • Jimmy Jizz
    August 17, 2020 at 10:29 am

    Fuck this

  • Gov Charle Biden
    August 17, 2020 at 10:12 am

    My foursome : me, Racial Rollins, Ayanna Pressley and Monica the fat ho

    • Marty The Alcoholic Masquerading As Mayor
      August 17, 2020 at 11:34 am

      what about me?

      • Luke Fondleberg
        August 18, 2020 at 1:33 am

        He’ll need a caddy. His MSP driver has to guard the cruiser.

  • Lee Ho
    August 17, 2020 at 9:51 am

    I just might sponsor a hoo, I mean hole.

  • Joe Curta-phoney
    August 17, 2020 at 9:10 am

    I’ll be there, for sure. As an American of Italian heritage, I strongly support the Columbus Day festivities.

  • Mr. Wrestling II
    August 17, 2020 at 9:10 am

    If you could get Kirk to join the tournament you’d really clean up. He’s a scratch golfer and a beloved local legend. You could charge $500 a hole.

  • JPGA
    August 17, 2020 at 9:09 am

    Can you tape the kikes trying to play sports? We all need a good laugh.

    • Hi Jewmerica!
      August 17, 2020 at 9:43 am

      Why don’t you come out of your mother’s basement for a round? Oh wait, the shock of daylight might be too much for you.

    • Yeah douchebag
      August 17, 2020 at 10:29 am

      Put down your Nazi dolls and play a round with your fellow Turtle Riders.

  • Dick LaBone
    August 17, 2020 at 8:56 am

    Will there be hot beer cart girls?

  • Shooter McGaven
    August 17, 2020 at 8:46 am

    Gonna have to sit this one out. I had a terrible accident. I was using the ball washer and sustained serious injuries when I fell off of it.

    • Andrea Grocer
      August 17, 2020 at 9:11 am

      I’ll be serving pieces of shit for breakfast. I heard you like that.

    • Bob Parker
      August 17, 2020 at 11:36 am

      The price is wrong bitch!

      • Joe Flaherty
        August 17, 2020 at 12:32 pm

        You JACKASS!!!

  • I see dumb people
    August 17, 2020 at 8:29 am

    Sorry but im not a huge Golf person… Never really got into it.. That being said I do know many many others who absolutely love golf and play every chance they get…. So I figured I’d just take this opportunity to sponsor a hole to show my support!

  • ANGRY GIANT
    August 17, 2020 at 7:43 am

    I expect that left wingers will want to leave “Judge Dread”, “Angry White Dad”, and “HUGH MUNGOUS” alone, especially when they have a 9 iron in hand.

  • Unc’s Gangbang Charity
    August 17, 2020 at 7:39 am

    What a complete joke. If there are 100 losers willing to play golf to support you I will laugh my ass off. Custom made TB shirts….
    Haaaaa haaaa! Why not just do a gangbang movie where we stuff shit in your holes for charity. Each nostril can be sponsored. Your wife Julie would be on the table next to you but here holes are all free.

    • Look at you!
      August 17, 2020 at 7:50 am

      Starting your Monday and your week reading a blog you apparently don’t care for and projecting this filthy fantasy of yours!

      Which column were you featured in?

      • No More Farts For Unc
        August 17, 2020 at 10:49 pm

        Can you just for a second imagine Unc splayed our on a table with Josh underneath while Bucket boys slides into Unc’s stench trench from the top. Rian Waters and Gaffney stretching out his honker tunnels while the Buffalo Blogger fiddles his tiny sack. I can here his screams for free speech and how he vows to get revenge. Unc will never be able to fart or blow his nose again.

    • Snarky Pete
      August 17, 2020 at 7:58 am

      Columbus Day triggered you, eh???

    • Tiger Woods
      August 17, 2020 at 8:27 am

      I bet you suck at golf

    • Keep the host alive
      August 17, 2020 at 10:19 am

      The better tax paying businesses do the better leftist parasites do. Not sure how this concept is lost on you people but prosperity is good even for the people who hate to see it.

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