All-Star Criminals

Bridgewater Police Twitter Is The Funniest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

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This summer has been a busy one for Brockton’s finest, as there have been an uncanny amount of shootings, overdoses, prostitution arrests, children stabbing each other, drug-dealings from hotel rooms, weapons violations, road-rage incidents, and just your average every day run-of-the-mill cold-blooded murders.

In their continued vow to crack down on offenders, Brockton police have most recently launched “Operation clean-slate” which netted 28 arrests, of which Assistant District Attorney Kevin O’ Leary has referred to most of the alleged offenders as “career criminals”. One such criminal, 47-year-old Benjamin Neal, was ordered held on $50,000 bail after trying to sell crack cocaine to an undercover officer.

“This is crazy!” exclaimed Neal, “I want a drug program!”

Of course you do, Benji boy. Unfortunately, due to our court system which often seems flawed, over half of these 28 were released back onto the streets the very same day. A somewhat scary thought for many Brockton residents to accept.

On the flip side, in the very next town over, Bridgewater police are fighting some very different “battles”. Now let me say, that I personally know several officers on the force, and they are great people and work very very hard. Bridgewater, much like almost every other town, does have a heroin problem. That being said — Bridgewater ain’t no Brockton, and if you choose to follow one twitter page in your entire life, follow the Bridgewater Police Department twitter page IMMEDIATELY, it belongs on comedy central. For instance, sometimes in Bridgewater suspicious things happen to your pets:

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Other times your kids won’t turn down that loud rap music!!

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Then there are tattoo disagreements

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Wildlife problems

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Irresponsible, mooching children

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This guy

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More missing pets

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Bridgewater town drunkards

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Hungry grandmothers

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Cats in trees

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Cats in closets

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Druken carseat salesmen

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And smart aleck children who like to talk back

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#BridgewaterProblems

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7 Comment(s)
  • SB1
    May 18, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I often check their twitter page when i need a good laugh. It’s amazing…minus the countless number of overdoses…

  • G-Love
    June 29, 2015 at 11:07 am

    I love the one about the mother not answering her phone b/c her son keeps asking for money. PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • June 28, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    Why the fuck would they put this stuff on Twitter?

    • Non Sequitor
      June 30, 2015 at 7:52 am

      Why wouldn’t you?

  • Maggie the Cat
    June 28, 2015 at 9:12 am

    I love this. Please, sir, may we have some more?

  • HeatherLyn
    June 27, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    REALLY, A SMARTASS KID LIVING ON EASY STREET?
    you can’t make that sh*t up.

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