All-Star Criminals

Brilliant Thinkers Defend Taunton “Acne Faced Killer” Who Stole Two Trucks In 4 Days And Crashed Into Tons Of Shit On High Speed Police Chases

Brilliant Thinkers Defend Taunton “Acne Faced Killer” Who Stole Two Trucks In 4 Days And Crashed Into Tons Of Shit On High Speed Police Chases

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This is a wild story out of the Jungle of Taunton. It started last week when an 18 year old man named  Joseph Dyer stole his friend’s grandmother’s truck, went joyriding, hit a bunch of shit, and ended up in court:

Police say Dyer drew attention to himself when he demolished a street sign and dragged both the sign and a fire hydrant – the latter of which traveled 50 feet – into the intersection of Olney and Oak streets. The initial call of a loud crash in the area of the Bloom Bus Company terminal at 10 Oak St. came in just before 2:30 a.m., according to police. They said they also found Dyer, who was not in possession of a driver’s license, hiding behind a storage unit 50 feet away from the damaged truck.

After running a background check, police said they determined the registered owner of the truck was a woman living on a nearby block. Police say when they knocked on her door she didn’t know her truck was missing. She told police the last time she saw it was the night before at 5:30 p.m. when it was still parked in her driveway. The woman also told police she normally leaves the truck unlocked with the keys inside. She recognized the keys as belonging to her son. The victim’s son confirmed that his own son and Dyer are friends and that Dyer had previously been a guest at the Oak Street home. During the booking process, police said, Dyer admitted taking the truck after learning from his friend that the truck could be found unlocked with keys inside at the grandmother’s house.

Alright, first of all, this sounds like some backwoods Kentucky shit. I could picture this happening in Winchendon, but Taunton is like, a city. They have crime and stuff. Lots of crime. Why would anyone think it’s a good idea to leave their keys inside an unlocked car? I guess I can understand not locking your door, even though that’s not smart either. But is it too much work to bring the keys inside the house? Are they too heavy or something? Quite frankly it’s a miracle that it took this long for someone to steal her truck.

Now, what do you imagine this 18 year old hell-raising Tauntonite looks like?

Is this what you pictured?



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Good God!! Even his zits have grown their own zits.


Mr. Steal Yo Truck!! Watch out Grandma – you best make sure your keys are locked in a secure place, because this nudnik is not missing out on an opportunity for some joy riding.

When this came out last week the free my boi patrol was out in full force. First there was the “you don’t know the ‘hole’ story” defense:

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Because apparently the police report which details him taking stealing a car, crashing into stuff, and then being arrested while in said car, is only a fraction of the story. Love to hear the rest Bonnie!! I know that when I look at some of your profile pictures the first thing I think is, “knowledgeable”:


This was followed by the “he’s a good kid” crew:

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Because lots of good kids get involved in high speed chases in stolen vehicles.

The “your not perfect” act never fails:

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Because someone else’s imperfections disqualify them from casting judgement on a criminal who puts the lives of innocent civilians in danger. Definitely.

Then there’s the “yea but what about the other guy” schtick:

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Except according to the police report, he WAS the only one involved in the crime. Unless the fire hydrant was equally at fault.

Then there’s this:

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Yea, not quite sure what that means, but it’s pretty convincing nonetheless. But as much sense as that hot take made, this one was even more profound:

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“FACTS.” In hoodrat speak this is the equivalent of saying “Boom. Roasted.” It’s how every illiterate troglodyte lets you know that they’ve won the argument. “FACT Fam!!!”

Speaking of facts and fam, Angel Marie strikes me as the kind of woman who has an arsenal of facts at her disposal:



Also juice and sauce. Lots of juice and sauce.


And guess who Mom is? That would be Maria Lopes:





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Because in Taunton, this is what your average soon to be grandmother looks like. Angel’s mastery of the English language makes a lot more sense now. Because according to Mom, Angel is “smart for her age.”

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Anyway, that was from last week. Then guess what happened again this week?

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Oh for fuck’s sake. The acne faced killer is up to his old tricks:

Taunton GazetteA Taunton teen who allegedly stole a truck less than a week ago and crashed it is in trouble again after leading police on a multi-town chase Wednesday morning, ending in a head-on collision, police said. Joseph Dyer, 18, of 16 Forest St., was charged with larceny of a motor vehicle; unlicensed operation of a vehicle; negligent operation of a vehicle; and leaving the scene of an accident with property damage resulting last week and is facing more charges following Wednesday morning’s incident, including assault with a dangerous weapon, police said.

Only five days after his last arrest Dyer was back behind the wheel of a vehicle, this time leading police on a chase. Police said the chase, which began in Taunton around 9:39 a.m. Wednesday, only lasted seven minutes but took police from East Taunton, to the Raynham Industrial park and back down Route 44, ending with a head-on collision in the area of 110 Dean St. in Taunton, Taunton Police Lt. Paul Roderick said. The victim, who was driving a red 2015 Chevy Cruz, received minor injuries when Dyer struck him head-on with his SUV, police said. The victim was transported to Morton Hospital, police said.

Dyer, who was driving a grey 2015 Ford Freestyle registered to a family member, had a serious leg injury from the incident but the injury was non-life threatening, police said. He was transported to Rhode Island Hospital, Roderick said. The chase started when Dyer failed to stop for a Taunton officer on Caswell street for a motor vehicle violation. The type of violation was not specified by police. Instead of pulling over Dyer fled, driving around 55 mph in a 40 mph zone, Roderick estimated. Dyer crossed from Taunton into Raynham and was being pursued by both Taunton and Raynham police with around six cruisers, Roderick said.

Raynham police had set up stop sticks, a device designed to puncture the wheels of a car and slow it down, but Dyer avoided them by turning onto a different road, Roderick said. Roderick said at one point he heard that Dyer had swerved his car towards an oncoming Raynham cruiser as if he was threatening to hit the cruiser. As Dyer headed back into Taunton and was speeding down Dean Street, he passed a car in his lane, police said. But as Dyer returned to his lane, due to his speed, he began to swerve, losing control of the car and hitting the oncoming vehicle head on, Roderick said.

Does this look like the kind of man who can be kept in check by The Man?


Nah, Joseph Dyer don’t play. Of course the real miracle here is that you can look like Joseph Dyer and still have a girlfriend who will have you back until the ends of the earth:

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That right there is what you call a ride or die chick.




Thug life!!

Anyway, this kid was obviously destined to succeed:

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He seems fascinated with broken down piece of shit cars posing next to stray cinder blocks:

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And he likes to randomly change his cover photo to images of fatal car accidents:

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Hey Johanah you might wanna get your boyfriend some help, because he’s probably gonna end up killing someone someday. Ya know, because he’s fascinated with death and car crashes. Just a heads up. It will be hard to defend him if he runs over a little old lady next time, because obviously he gives zero fucks about anyone but himself at the moment.

Oh, and here’s an idea for the judge this time – keep this guy behind bars. Just an idea. A crazy idea, but it just might work. Because he obviously stopped giving a shit a long time ago and he’s gonna steal another car the second he gets out. Just sayin.


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32 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    January 23, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    Just saying – that Angel chick is kind of a piece of ass. But, I also dig the thick Latinas.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    January 21, 2017 at 3:07 am

    The first sign of deep seeded mental illness came from the pic where he has a clip on tie on his polo shirt… when will people learn?!

  • Publius
    January 19, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    Dyer looks like a psychopath who kills the neighbor or school teacher. Little doubt he will kill, likely by mv but who knows.

  • January 19, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    Yo why the fuck are u talking shit about my mom u don’t know her so keep my mom and my family’s names out your fuck mouth

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    January 19, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    My Lord. Is Taunton that full of skanks? I wouldn’t fuck any of them with Bob’s dick ! Maria Lopes, looks like there are places she can’t reach with a washcloth

    • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
      January 19, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      It would bean unaccomplishable task to fuck anything with my dick anyways.

    • Natalie
      January 19, 2017 at 7:54 pm

      Yo why the fuck are u talking shit about my mom bitch

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:00 pm

      Yo I don’t know u but why the fuck are u talking shit about my mom keep mom and my family’s names out your mouths

    • U all make me laugh
      January 20, 2017 at 11:02 am

      Lmao u got jks u must be looking at u wife cuz honey I’m not fat get it right sweetheart

    • U all make me laugh
      January 20, 2017 at 11:21 am


  • Ashamed Atholian
    January 19, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    From his looks and FB page (angry/frustrated/immature/obsessed with creepy stuff)
    he’s either on drugs or mentally sick…and obviously dangerous.
    People like him go on to become school shooters. Better take action now.
    He should be either in prison or a mental institution for good.

    • Turd Burglestein
      January 19, 2017 at 7:14 pm

      I’m guessing meth. Almost perfect complexion in one pic to complete pizza face in another pic. That shit causes bad breakouts and then they obsess with picking the acne scabs until they’re permanently scarred. He better get away from that shit or his teeth will be gone before he’s 21.

      • January 20, 2017 at 8:18 am

        Your an idiot. That’s a picture of a 15-16 year old. Many that age have an acne issue. He is special needs and not a method addict. This is discusting how people can come on here & talk shit & spread unfounded lies.

    January 19, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Couldn’t you make this article without posting irrelevant minors and their parents? Seems like a shitty thing to do.

    January 19, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    Hope you feel good about the fact that you just trashed a kid with special needs you asshole. Doesn’t excuse his actions but he’s got mental problems& this was beyond unneccessary, anyone who knows him knows he’s not all there in the head

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 19, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    The person I feel sorriest for in this story is the tattoo artist who had to touch that nasty skank’s titty when she got inked. I bet he had a puke bucket next to his chair the entire time.

  • Dermatologist for the kid, psychiatrist for the 'Mother" ?
    January 19, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Does someone clone these types, seem to be about the same. Of course he was lucky he did not kill anyone. As usual, no father in sight.

    • Anonymous
      January 19, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      If you MUST assume shit, his mother DIED about 3 years ago, and his fathers works EXTREMELY hard for everything for his FIVE children, and this article is plain CRUEL. he has actual mental issues and fuck anyone else who has anything else too say, you are correct, you DONT know the full story behind his actions yesterday morning, and quite frankly, none of it is your concern, this page is nasty and to whomever created this page, please get a life and stop creeping on other peoples. And those screenshots from his facebook are from 2013, like you really had to of dug real deep. All of you are pathetic to be sitting here slandering someone who has ptsd, who has developmental issues, and autistic as well. GROW UP. Thanks.

      • Bboi Swift
        January 19, 2017 at 11:15 pm

        I dont give a sh!t if he’s autistic, retarded or both, or recently suffered a tragedy. He has no consideration for life or property and if he would’ve killed someone related to you during one of his joyrides, then you would be singing a different tune. Stop being a 2 face hipocrite. I have no compassion for people who are lacking it themselves. All i can imagine is him driving into a car w/ someone’s child or mother and the devastation he could cause because he’s a snowflake and needs to be coddled.

  • BobnMic
    January 19, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    New rule. Outlaw duck lip selfies. Show your teeth. Oops – that’s right these beauties don’t have any. My bad.

    • Tarbash The Egyptian Magician
      January 19, 2017 at 3:03 pm

      New rule. Stop posting here and go away. We hate you and life would be so much nicer when you’re gone.

      • BobnMic
        January 20, 2017 at 12:19 am

        Bartrash – you seem to be getting angrier and angrier when someone issues an opinion that has absolutely nothing to do with you huh? Do you think you should maybe go and talk to someone about that? I mean there seems to be some real deep-seeded issues with you and a lot of SJWs are out there for you to latch onto that do not believe in the freedom of speech and opinions expressed just you.

        That crowd would be a good fit for you and I doubt I am alone on this one but unlike you I will not speak for everybody. In my opinion no one will say it to you because they do not want your wrath of bullshit. I mean – you could grab your bag of Pampers swaddlers blankie soft giant pack and go share your pain with the other SJW cry babies.

        Wouldn’t that be just swell? Think about it.

        • Officer BobnMic
          January 20, 2017 at 1:37 am

          Stop, put your hands behind your back, you’re under arrest!

          Hehehehehehehe I’ve always wanted to say that. I’m so glad I can play pretend!

          • BobnMic's Gerbil
            January 20, 2017 at 12:15 pm

            You need to tell him to put down the gerbil and back away slowly. This non-stop abuse has got to end. How much more can one little gerbil take?

    • Professor M(eth)
      January 19, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      Bobbie likes it with no teeth.

      • BobnMic
        January 19, 2017 at 7:09 pm

        With my toothpick dick, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

  • JoeMomma
    January 19, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    When he gets to Walpole, he’ll be the girlfriend.

    • Duke Westwood
      January 19, 2017 at 1:08 pm

      They classed the place up… It’s MCI Cedar Junction now… Almost sounds like a place to vacation. “The king salmon are really biting at Cedar Junction this time of year.” “The foliage is absolutely beautiful from Cedar Junction.” “I got 5-10 at Cedar Junction and all I got was ass raped weekly.”

      • JoeMomma
        January 20, 2017 at 7:22 am


        I know a few folks from Walpole and they hate it when you call the jail by the town name….therefore, I always call it by the old name not the fancy yuppie name they gave it.
        Next name, the Residence at Cedar Junction?

  • Strata
    January 19, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    He committed a bad crime and endangered innocent people. He will be judged (& convicted) in the legal court of law, and also in the “court of public” opinion. The people supporting him are just plain goofy. Morons that don’t believe in accountability for one’s criminal actions. Losers too

  • Duke Westwood
    January 19, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    They crack themselves up tellin you that you ain’t perfect… LMAAAOOO

    You don’t know hole story… LMMMAAAOOO

    Hilarious! Education is stoopid. She’s smart for her age too… Street smart…

  • Agent Smith
    January 19, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    This little nugget of shit didn’t learn his lesson the first time. How long till he’s back on the streets stealing another whip? I hope it ends up being a judge’s, since they are the ones that let these pukes out again anyway.

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