Brilliant Thinkers Defend Taunton “Acne Faced Killer” Who Stole Two Trucks In 4 Days And Crashed Into Tons Of Shit On High Speed Police Chases
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This is a wild story out of the Jungle of Taunton. It started last week when an 18 year old man named Joseph Dyer stole his friend’s grandmother’s truck, went joyriding, hit a bunch of shit, and ended up in court:
Police say Dyer drew attention to himself when he demolished a street sign and dragged both the sign and a fire hydrant – the latter of which traveled 50 feet – into the intersection of Olney and Oak streets. The initial call of a loud crash in the area of the Bloom Bus Company terminal at 10 Oak St. came in just before 2:30 a.m., according to police. They said they also found Dyer, who was not in possession of a driver’s license, hiding behind a storage unit 50 feet away from the damaged truck.
After running a background check, police said they determined the registered owner of the truck was a woman living on a nearby block. Police say when they knocked on her door she didn’t know her truck was missing. She told police the last time she saw it was the night before at 5:30 p.m. when it was still parked in her driveway. The woman also told police she normally leaves the truck unlocked with the keys inside. She recognized the keys as belonging to her son. The victim’s son confirmed that his own son and Dyer are friends and that Dyer had previously been a guest at the Oak Street home. During the booking process, police said, Dyer admitted taking the truck after learning from his friend that the truck could be found unlocked with keys inside at the grandmother’s house.
Alright, first of all, this sounds like some backwoods Kentucky shit. I could picture this happening in Winchendon, but Taunton is like, a city. They have crime and stuff. Lots of crime. Why would anyone think it’s a good idea to leave their keys inside an unlocked car? I guess I can understand not locking your door, even though that’s not smart either. But is it too much work to bring the keys inside the house? Are they too heavy or something? Quite frankly it’s a miracle that it took this long for someone to steal her truck.
Now, what do you imagine this 18 year old hell-raising Tauntonite looks like?
Is this what you pictured?
Good God!! Even his zits have grown their own zits.
Mr. Steal Yo Truck!! Watch out Grandma – you best make sure your keys are locked in a secure place, because this nudnik is not missing out on an opportunity for some joy riding.
When this came out last week the free my boi patrol was out in full force. First there was the “you don’t know the ‘hole’ story” defense:
Because apparently the police report which details him taking stealing a car, crashing into stuff, and then being arrested while in said car, is only a fraction of the story. Love to hear the rest Bonnie!! I know that when I look at some of your profile pictures the first thing I think is, “knowledgeable”:
This was followed by the “he’s a good kid” crew:
Because lots of good kids get involved in high speed chases in stolen vehicles.
The “your not perfect” act never fails:
Because someone else’s imperfections disqualify them from casting judgement on a criminal who puts the lives of innocent civilians in danger. Definitely.
Then there’s the “yea but what about the other guy” schtick:
Except according to the police report, he WAS the only one involved in the crime. Unless the fire hydrant was equally at fault.
Then there’s this:
Yea, not quite sure what that means, but it’s pretty convincing nonetheless. But as much sense as that hot take made, this one was even more profound:
“FACTS.” In hoodrat speak this is the equivalent of saying “Boom. Roasted.” It’s how every illiterate troglodyte lets you know that they’ve won the argument. “FACT Fam!!!”
Speaking of facts and fam, Angel Marie strikes me as the kind of woman who has an arsenal of facts at her disposal:
Also juice and sauce. Lots of juice and sauce.
And guess who Mom is? That would be Maria Lopes:
Because in Taunton, this is what your average soon to be grandmother looks like. Angel’s mastery of the English language makes a lot more sense now. Because according to Mom, Angel is “smart for her age.”
Anyway, that was from last week. Then guess what happened again this week?
Oh for fuck’s sake. The acne faced killer is up to his old tricks:
Taunton Gazette: A Taunton teen who allegedly stole a truck less than a week ago and crashed it is in trouble again after leading police on a multi-town chase Wednesday morning, ending in a head-on collision, police said. Joseph Dyer, 18, of 16 Forest St., was charged with larceny of a motor vehicle; unlicensed operation of a vehicle; negligent operation of a vehicle; and leaving the scene of an accident with property damage resulting last week and is facing more charges following Wednesday morning’s incident, including assault with a dangerous weapon, police said.
Only five days after his last arrest Dyer was back behind the wheel of a vehicle, this time leading police on a chase. Police said the chase, which began in Taunton around 9:39 a.m. Wednesday, only lasted seven minutes but took police from East Taunton, to the Raynham Industrial park and back down Route 44, ending with a head-on collision in the area of 110 Dean St. in Taunton, Taunton Police Lt. Paul Roderick said. The victim, who was driving a red 2015 Chevy Cruz, received minor injuries when Dyer struck him head-on with his SUV, police said. The victim was transported to Morton Hospital, police said.
Dyer, who was driving a grey 2015 Ford Freestyle registered to a family member, had a serious leg injury from the incident but the injury was non-life threatening, police said. He was transported to Rhode Island Hospital, Roderick said. The chase started when Dyer failed to stop for a Taunton officer on Caswell street for a motor vehicle violation. The type of violation was not specified by police. Instead of pulling over Dyer fled, driving around 55 mph in a 40 mph zone, Roderick estimated. Dyer crossed from Taunton into Raynham and was being pursued by both Taunton and Raynham police with around six cruisers, Roderick said.
Raynham police had set up stop sticks, a device designed to puncture the wheels of a car and slow it down, but Dyer avoided them by turning onto a different road, Roderick said. Roderick said at one point he heard that Dyer had swerved his car towards an oncoming Raynham cruiser as if he was threatening to hit the cruiser. As Dyer headed back into Taunton and was speeding down Dean Street, he passed a car in his lane, police said. But as Dyer returned to his lane, due to his speed, he began to swerve, losing control of the car and hitting the oncoming vehicle head on, Roderick said.
Does this look like the kind of man who can be kept in check by The Man?
Nah, Joseph Dyer don’t play. Of course the real miracle here is that you can look like Joseph Dyer and still have a girlfriend who will have you back until the ends of the earth:
That right there is what you call a ride or die chick.
Anyway, this kid was obviously destined to succeed:
He seems fascinated with broken down piece of shit cars posing next to stray cinder blocks:
And he likes to randomly change his cover photo to images of fatal car accidents:
Hey Johanah you might wanna get your boyfriend some help, because he’s probably gonna end up killing someone someday. Ya know, because he’s fascinated with death and car crashes. Just a heads up. It will be hard to defend him if he runs over a little old lady next time, because obviously he gives zero fucks about anyone but himself at the moment.
Oh, and here’s an idea for the judge this time – keep this guy behind bars. Just an idea. A crazy idea, but it just might work. Because he obviously stopped giving a shit a long time ago and he’s gonna steal another car the second he gets out. Just sayin.
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