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We’ve gotten so many requests from turtle riders to do re-runs of our greatest hits, so we decided to add a new category – This Day In Turtleboy. We’ll be reblogging some of our greatest hits that happened on around this day in Turtleboy.
Mary Hill, the broad that screamed “rape” in the center of the Brockton shovel murder, JUST got out of Framingham on March 2nd. If you all remember, she was arrested a few weeks ago, for showing her face in court in order to support her boyfriend of three months. This was all because Bae bludgeoned his pal in the skull with a shovel because he thought he was raping his girlfriend.
You all remember her from such takedowns as:
And
She’s a low key hooker, drug fiend, and has a record as long as my legs for breaking restraining orders, losing her kids, assault with deadly weapons and bunch of other crap. 
She doesn’t like us for the exposes we did on her. Probably because we called her a lying whore. Truth hurts. I always have tons of negative shit to say about people who get caught screwing around and a life is ended because of it.
Seems Mary, who we got word was looking to score some drugs just hours after she was released from Framingham, was driving around on Saturday when her pal’s car got pulled over. I guess she had a straight warrant or something. Maybe she forgot to pay her phone bill…
What I gathered in intel, from the Brockton Hub Honey Badgers, the new warrant could mean that she has some new charges coming up. 
Thank you Deborah! Let’s hope Mary Skankbeast is getting charged as an accomplice! I have no clue how someone couldn’t go two weeks without violating ghetto probation… but Mary isn’t your average ratchet. She’s one that instigated a murder by cheating on her Bae.
However, this time around, she had a couple of defenders when someone posted her news article on the Hub. 
No, Taryn and Lauren. They aren’t walking free. They killed a guy. If they can’t land charges on Mary the police now know her name and she will go away on all the other skanky shit she does. 
Mary’s defenders are everything you thought they would be AND MORE. Taryn is a Fupasloth Duckface Chameleon. She shoots her selfies in a way that she doesn’t look so portly and does so by angling the camera high up and squishing her face like a mutated mallard. 
But upon further investigation we see that she’s a bit more rotund than she lets on. 
Yikes. So, because Taryn was getting crucified for standing up for her murder-instigating pal, the guy who drives his inch of salami in to her had to chime in to save her.
I said to myself, “SSTG, you’re a couple of bottles of wine in and I bet you he’s got a golden profile. You should click it.”
It’s like then golden trio of window-licking hoodrat. Instead of just typing “Only God can judge me” he actually got it tattooed on his arm. He looks like Baby Huey on Brockvegas, mouth-breathing, steroids. Hes got a hysterical fake job listed (because he looks like he gets winded getting off the couch) and is wearing the staple crown of all low lives. The flat-brimmed Chicago Bulls hat!
Maybe I’m the messiah because I’m totally judging right now.
I shared this with the Turtleboy secret group, mostly because I couldn’t stop laughing, and my pal Stella pointed out that he’s actually got the shaved eyebrow too.
The picture of him laying in bed actually made my vagina snap shut like a bear trap. There is nothing appealing about this guy.
But hey! He was like a knight in shining tin foil, when his girlfriend did something stupid online, so I guess that’s the one thing he has in his favor!
You’re right Bob. You just forgot to mention she looks like Shrek’s ballsack. Don’t give me this “sticking up for women” thing. I’m a woman. You know what I’m doing? Working and raising my family. You know what drugs I do? Caffeine and the occasional tankard of wine/bourbon. Women like Mary Skankbeast, who give birth to babies they can’t raise and spend their days running the streets for tricks and drugs aren’t worth of my defense.
I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that these are the people who ran with Mary Skankbeast. Maybe next time her pals will keep their yaps shut and remember that she caused a murder before defending her.
7 Comment(s)
Everything you need to know about on line dating is in the 1st two photos. Photo 2 is framed just right to make her look borderline hot. Photo one of her in court shows up on the date and bamb, your hitting yourself in the head with a shovel!
Formatting seems to fix itself after I leave a comment, so…
Our country is doomed. And I only base that on the incredibly bad grammar and spelling in the FB posts and text messages posted on TBS stories. I know these are just social media posts and text messages and not the next great novel of our times. But for the love of God. Just one example. When people use threw when they mean through as in “she is going through some tough times” it drives me crazy. Very simple stuff here.
Even with some of the recent college grads we hire. Many of them can’t write a formal business email or document at higher than an 8th grade level.
She sounds like loser Hillary. She prolly smell like piss too just like Hillary. Losing comes naturally to losers then they bitch and moan about losing. Imagine losing even when the fix was in no wobder why Hillary is still angry about being a LOSER.
Yeah, c’mon guys, don’t be negative. I’m triggered by the mere thought of others questioning the integrity of my character
God I hate these people. Its the same fuckwads that run around screaming “Free Muh Boi” after robbing a store, as if that’s like a normal, everyday activity.
Mary Louise looks like she smells awful.
I guess me not having any double A batteries doesn’t seem so bad now after reading this.