Anyone remember Thomas Scopa, Brockton’s biggest bitch and buttnut loser? He’s the chudnugget who once stole his girlfriend’s cancer GoFundMe. money
And also challenged me, a female in her thirties, to a Dunkin Donuts parking lot to duke it out….
…And then promptly ran on Dunkins, right the fuck out of there and away from me.
Brockton’s biggest bitchtits.
Just when you think he couldn’t possibly be any more of a bleeding, slimy vagina, he pulls a Billy Mays
And gets arrested for drunkenly kicking the shit out of his own mother and her boyfriend. And the report is GLORIOUS. Let’s do the highlights:
1. Scopa was tanked at his mom’s house when the cops showed up
Getting shitfaced and beating the fuck out of your own mother in her own home. Oh, the city of champions.
2. Scopa was arrested wearing FUBU Sneakers
Because, of course he was. What else would he be wearing?
Of course we’re judging you, Scopa. We’ve always been judging you. I just love that the police included his 1995 gangsta footwear in their report. I feel like they wrote it for me. Thank you.
3. Scopa Attempted to Lie His Way Out Of Arrest/Jailtime And The Cops Knew It
Say it with me, once more, for the people in the back: “BITCHTITS.” If you drunkenly beat up your own mother and her vulvawarmer dejour in her own home, and then try to lie you’re way out of the consequences, you are the definition of a bitch. Look it up.
4. Scopa Beat The Shit Out Of His Mom And Her Boyfriend, Because Her Boyfriend Tried To Get Him Off Her Living Room Floor
I imagine he was yelling “You’re not my real dad!” The whole time, and his mom had to get him a juicebox and Fruit Rollup to calm down.
Well, there you have it, folks, another day in the pathetic, miserable, useless existence that is Thomas “Vanilla Lice” Scopa. What a lovable little loser scamp he is! As an added bonus, please allow me to share one of my most favorite moments from the “Scopa” game I was playing with my crew a few months back – when we trolled him in to calling the Dr. Sciencey show, and things got really weird, and really gay, fast.