Broke Peabody Anti-Vaxxer Shart-Blossom “Actor” Looking For Girls Down With Chew-And-Screw Dates, Who Don’t Talk Back On Their Periods
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You know, I usually write about local criminals, drug dealers, prostitutes and all-around craptastic individuals but today I felt like changing it up a little. If I had a dollar for every hoodrat with a trunk full of fentanyl and a warrant I’d be polishing up my platinum Reebok classics and clicking my heels straight out of the 978 (just kidding I love the Mingya Valley.)
Instead, I felt like pracing my ass into the Turtleboy kitchen to whip up a double shameburger and extra-salty french cries for this idiot:
This is Pete Bouras aka Pete Spallone and when he isn’t taking gym pics in his Lady Grace man-tank he spends his time posting mind-numbing drivel on social media. Anything and everything that comes out of the boner-socket located just under his nose is steaming garbage and if he’s arrogant enough to post it, I’m more than happy to share it with all 100,000+ Turtle riders.
Pete is an “actor” from Lawrence but claims he’s from Boston (just like every other no-talent grundle mollusk in the ‘biz.)
He’s like, super famous.
In addition to the staggering credentials listed above, he’s starred in other A-list television shows like Jerry Springer:
Call William Morris and write up a contract because Pete’s the next big thing!
Just kidding. He sucks.
Listen, there’s no shame in pursuing a talent and I have great admiration for the arts on any level. What I don’t admire is a smart-mouthed assflap who uses social media to post the following idiocy:
Apparently Petey thinks pulling a chew and screw and leaving wait staff to foot the bill is no big deal. Also not a big deal? His reputation. I’m glad he put out a disclaimer that he doesn’t care if people think he’s an ambulatory diaper pail. At least this way he won’t be whining to Desk Girl after he Googles his name and finds this article… Right?
But wait, it gets better. According to his LinkedIn, (yes, a broke man with a “Can I be your side n word” shirt has a LinkedIn page) he worked in the restaurant industry for 10 years:
However, now that he’s a famous actor he has no time for that world, and has apparently forgotten what it’s like to be a waitress depending on tips to feed her family.
Pete isn’t just an actor though. He’s also a relationship guru with a stellar concept of all things romance:
Yea, some girls deserve lobster while others deserve burger and fries. Doesn’t matter to Pete because he’s not paying either way.
Yeah, solid relationship advice. Ladies, make sure you jot this all down as your official Mingya Valley cheat-sheet on how to please mediocre men with bad facial hair. I’m sure Pete is beating women off with a stick left and right.
More likely: He’s just beating off.
Nothing makes my uterus squeal with excitement like a man resembling Mr. Clean in Easter Sunday formal wear with a brillo pad glued to his chin:
Remember that time he went on a blind date and had an article written about it in the Boston Globe? That went well.
Nothing breaks the ice like telling a woman she “needs to get out more.” Ya see what happened on this date? He brought up politics and then told her she needed to “research the stuff we talked about.” In other words, he hasn’t paid attention to politics his entire life. But now that he subscribes to either Breitbart or Occupy Democrats he now has the answer to everything, and those who don’t need to “research.” Because what chick doesn’t wanna talk politics and gang violence on the first date?
Yes, I’m sure she was absolutely dying for your phone number.
What. A. Twat.
Oh yeah, he’s also a well-versed anti-vaxxer.
I dunno about you, but I put 100% faith in a dude who posts about the harms of immunizations and looks like this:
Peter Bouras, M.D.
So there you have it, Merrimack Valley’s #1 Dine & dash, woman shaming, vaccine conspiracy theorist and all-around arrogant spunk bubble.
If you’re a server and have Pete seated at your next table feel free to rub his prime rib across your grundle a few times. I’m sure his non-vaccinated immune system will be just fine and if he drops dead his date will tip you 25%.
P.S. Need this shirt immediately.
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