All-Star Criminals

Busta Crimes Tries Stealing Bristol PD Cop Car, Resists Arrest, Runs Directly Into Moving Cop Car, Becomes Hoodrat Pancake

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Check out this hilarious viral police video out of the dump that Aaron Hernandez and Jemele Hill built – Bristol, CT:

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a video that needs the Benny Hill remix version of it. If you know how to do that, please show us.

What a savage though. And I’m not even talking about the perp yet. I’m talking about the cameraman. It’s 2018 and people are still filming vertically? Come on bros. I know it’s easier because it only requires one hand and it’s the natural position of the phone, but your audience misses so much of ambience and the Bristol ratchetry in which the scene is set.

Plus, someone’s gotta tell Tyler about Turtleboy –

Come on mang. Barstool ain’t what it used to be, and Turtleboy is the new localized World Star. Now hiring Connecticut bloggers.

Let’s go to the tale of the tape…..

It all begins when the police officer is attempting to handcuff Busta Crimes for unknown reasons

Busta wasn’t having none of that though and wisely decided that he would not allow the cop to do his job

Which is a wicked smart thing to do. Everyone knows that when a cop tells you you’re under arrest it’s optional to be arrested. You have the right to negotiate for 15 minutes and grab the cop’s arms if they attempt to put you in handcuffs. You learn that at Hoodrat U on day one.

When that failed he did the BLM shuffle and ran away

But he forgot that his pants were down below his bottom in order to let the local crackeads know that his orifaces were open for business.

Running from the police seems like a wise thing to do. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? I’m sure if you somehow outrun their radios you can just go back to your car an hour later and it will be there with no police. Definitely.

And you know his boo was a ride or die bitch, because as soon as he started running, she started running:

No questions asked. When you run, I run. After we stop running we’ll figure out what it was we was running from. Right Cedric?

After that there was a time lapse and when it returned Busta Crimes was back in his vehicle, and the very patient officer was trying to get him out and put him in handcuffs.

Luckily he complied, did as the officer said, and whatever issue he had with the arrest would be brought up in court, because that’s how a civilized society works.

LOL. Just kidding. He ran again, but he quickly realized that today was the wrong way to forget his belt.

Instead of running away from the cops, he wisely ran towards the officer’s vehicle and attempted to get into it.

Ya know, it’s shocking that people like this end up getting killed by the cops. Must be racism. There’s literally no other way he could’ve handled this situation.

Here’s my question – has Talcum X (Shaun King) ever once told his millions of followers NOT to run from the cops. Because you’d think that someone who is so concerned with the preservation of black lives would urge his followers to behave in a manner that is less likely to end up with them as a hashtag. Just sayin.

Anyway, he couldn’t get into the car and once again the Bristol ghettolope tried to outrun his predator and escape to freedom

Now at this point he looks to the left and can clearly see a police vehicle coming down the street for backup

Might be a good time to surrender right?

Nope. Busta Crimes still thought he could pull off the gold medal in the hoodrat olympics, find a way to defy the laws of physics and escape the fuzz. Naturally he decided to run directly into the side of the moving police SUV, which was a high percentage move for sure:

I figured that we could all agree that the cops in that video did absolutely nothing wrong. Moron not only resisted arrest, tried to steal a police car, and grabbed an officer’s arm, he also ran directly into a moving vehicle that he clearly saw was coming. Case closed.

But nevertheless the MSM is writing about a “viral police confrontation,” as if there’s anything up for debate here.

Naturally some morons rushed to Busta Crimes’ defense. Like Brandi Lepage….

The cop drove right into him? You saw it happen? Newsflash Brandi – we all saw it happen. There’s a video. Dude ran into traffic and became a hoodbooger pancake.

And really, your name is Brandi Lepage? When you’re given that name at birth there’s like a 1% chance you won’t become a stripper. And from the looks of it, that seems to be the career path Brandi is heading down.

Plus she’s got the future single mom starter kit too – an affinity for pit bulls

And sperm donors who rock the “I have court on Tuesday” chinstrap.

Hey Brandi, it’s cute that you’re going through this whole ratchet nectar fuck the police faze, but don’t forget your roots Becky….

Shawnzi Blois wasn’t feeling that either…

Yea generally when people run directly into a car, they end up getting hit by said car. Then again, this explains a lot….

I’ll bet you anything he’s still got the sticker on the top of that hat. Nuff said.

Luis Roman also felt the police were out of line…

Yea, it is the officer’s job to make sure rules are followed. For instance, when they tell you not to run, don’t run. When they tell you to put your hands behind your back, put your hands behind your back. When they tell you not to try to steal their police car, don’t try to steal their police car. Keep keepin it real Luis!!

Oh, and this was great….

Nice, it’s the “I would’ve” vigilante patrol. The ones who always “would’ve” stopped the school shooting by being the good guy wit the gun. If only they were there……

Hey nudniks – the police don’t want you to jump in the middle of a dangerous situation. You’re not trained to deal with this. They are. I know that typing those words makes you feel like Jackie Chan, but you’d probably just fuck it up.

It never amazes me how anyone can think this is normal. Like, almost every protest for a dead guy killed by the cops involves them doing something very dangerous that is likely to get them killed by the police. And you want me to be upset with the cops for doing their job? Pass.

Here’s an idea for black lives matter – pick better people to rally behind. Why was Michael Brown the face of black lives matter and not Tamir Rice? Michael Brown sucked. He was a 300 pound piece of shit who tried to take a cops gun and just robbed and assaulted a brown guy. Tamir Rice was a 12 year old boy who was pretending to play with a fake gun. Who do you think is a more sympathetic and identifiable person to rally behind?

It’s pretty simple really – do what the police tell you to do and fight them in court later if they did something wrong. Then you get to live, it’s pretty sweet.

15 Comment(s)
  • A. Friend
    April 13, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    I’m confused, I thought cops murdered everyone of color they deal with?

  • K
    April 13, 2018 at 12:07 am

    Your articles are funny. Sometimes though, I feel like you act like there is no police brutality. I’ve grown up in the ghetto and watched police brutality my entire life. This clearly was not the case in this instance. Please don’t act like it does not happen all the time. It does.

    • DumbCop
      April 14, 2018 at 1:00 pm

      Yes it happens. To those who deserve it. Live a good life. Honest, and crime free. You will NEVER experience any police brutality.

  • K
    April 12, 2018 at 11:58 pm

    Busta crimes lmao

  • Jojo
    April 12, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    You had me at Talcom X, he’s taking over race baiting duties from the good reverends.

  • Publius
    April 12, 2018 at 11:00 pm

    That video so awesome. Dude trips over pants into cruiser. Next time get a belt.

  • The Stool Muncher from Lenox
    April 12, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    First off, Mr. Police runner is a fucking 5 star idiot. LMMFAO, I am surprised he didn’t get his head stuck under the wheel, what a fucking moron. Tell you this though, I would eat Brandi Lepage’s stool in a heart beat. My lord, the fine firm feline, ppprrrr. Not like that cheap garbage SSTG and NSTG rancid clit meat, we’re talking some fine well lubbed and time tried crotch venison. Brandi Golden Showers and cavier dreams right there. Yessiree.

  • Paul
    April 12, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    Lol Hoodrat pancake. 

  • Captain Trips
    April 12, 2018 at 5:31 pm

    I feel a need for attention. I think I’ll put on black lipstick. get tattoos, and generally scream for attention.

    Guess what sweets?

    You’ve had enough attention when you were younger because of your looks.

    Now go die

  • Screw PC
    April 12, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Brandi looks like Marilyn Manson without tits.

  • johnnyb
    April 12, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    At the 15 second mark, the Hoodrat cry of “He ain’t doing nuffin’ ” can be heard from the magical hoodrat Netherlands..Can’t make it..

  • Monster (The Hybrid)
    April 12, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    Yes, obviously the cops should have made the cruiser float over that scumbag’s head, to avoid his attempt to be victim, since all else failed. That’s exactly why he ran into that cruiser, he knew he looked like the idiot he is & thought being run over or severely injured by the cops would make ppl sympathize & defend him-because he’s black.

    If it had been a white dude, ppl would be saying “They should’ve ran him over! They should’ve shot him! He deserved it, what an idiot! Why did he run?”

    Brandi can keep her white guilt trash (how hard is she trying to be black though? Lol her face looks like a cartoon mask! & of course, we got the ghetto booty pic! Classic race fetishizer right there!) Her & Luis really think the cops should have flipped the ghost switch in the cruiser, so the perp would go right through it lolol They should do some Googling on how physics work! Ignorant losers.

  • Trooper Genduso would've handled this entirely differently
    April 12, 2018 at 3:15 pm

    I disagree with you saying the police don’t want citizen’s help….I mean you never intrude on an “in control situation” or when there is plenty of back-up…..but this dude was alone and looks like the suspect had at least 6 inches on him….if the suspect got on top and got in control….

    you wouldn’t help this cop?

  • Rick Shaw
    April 12, 2018 at 2:29 pm

    Brandi is a trashbag. Hopefully her pitbulls will maul her and save taxpayers money.

  • R-Man Young MiddleSex 5-0 GrassCoppera
    April 12, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    If this young grasshopper tried this up in Middlesex County, we’d thunder him, bundle him and then give him a stern lesson.

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