Butthurt Millennial Cupcake Takes To FB Because Plymouth Cop Didn’t Rescue Her When Her Car Broke Down – Even Though She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Ask Him For Help After Standing There For An Hour Looking Totes Adorbs

Butthurt Millennial Cupcake Takes To FB Because Plymouth Cop Didn’t Rescue Her When Her Car Broke Down – Even Though She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Ask Him For Help After Standing There For An Hour Looking Totes Adorbs

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There has been an influx of shitty people making fun of the Plymouth police these past few weeks. So, I’ve got a two-parter coming up to mock stupid people for it. Tomorrow I will drop a blog because a lady, who was standing next to a junkie, posted about being upset because a cop didn’t wave to her kid. Today’s shame sandwich might be even funnier.

You all know we are a pro law enforcement blog. That doesn’t mean that we won’t call out a bad cop when we see one – but it’s such a thankless job. Especially when you have complete idiots expecting the sun to shine out of your ass while you’re trying to protect and serve.

Kaila Elizabeth is just your average millennial stuck in a big mean world. It’s really hard existing and it’s everyone else’s job to make sure that her feelings aren’t fractured.

So, when Kaila broke down in her car, she was just flabbergasted that a patrol cop didn’t help her. So, instead of asking for help, she held her tongue and went to post on All Things Plymouth.

Probably not the best idea.

So, she wandered around for an hour, I guess in a big woe-is-me circle, because her cell service just wasn’t working. SO UNFAIR!

Now, I’ve never had any issues with cell service in this area. I worked down there for years and years. The spot she is talking about is literally a five minute walk to a shopping center. That’s a HUGE area with about 9000 stores that she could have walked in and made a call.

I can imagine Kaila, a young 23 year-old girl, just walking around in a big circle, not knowing which way was north, exasperated, dehydrated, unsure of what to do because she’s never been out of bars before! THE HORROR!

Most of us wish we would have lucked out by having a cop standing right in front of us.

“I’m sorry officer but my car just broke down. My cell phone blows. May I borrow yours to call my dad?”

“Sure,” the officer would say.

Easy as that.

Not Kaila. She never asked the cop for help. She was butthurt that he didn’t stop to fluff her wellness.

Well, it didn’t turn out to well for our little cupcake when she posted her sob story of idiocy.

Genius question Jennifer!

Wait. They can’t read minds? HAVE I BEEN LIED TO MY WHOLE LIFE?!

Your opinion makes you look like a fucktard, pal.

Shut up Lisa. We don’t do hurt feelings here.

Poor Kaila. What is this world coming to!?

Well, naturally, when fuckery is abound, the Turtle was summoned. Little did they know my best friend had already alerted me to the hilarity.

Sup Fam.

So let this be a lesson to all of the butthurts. The Turtle is always watching.


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7 Comment(s)
  • Semen Cannon
    June 6, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    She’s not bad looking (at least from these pics)… so its hard to believe not one 20-something male would not have stopped and asked her if she needed help (and pass up a chance to possibly score some ass in the process) …. so her entire story is questionable to me.

  • Kerri Bishop
    June 6, 2017 at 12:27 am

    she didn’t brush her teeth properly while wearing braces.. that’s what that weird white spot is on her teeth. My orthodontist warned me about those and I brushed like a crackhead with ocd every day because I was scared to get them! GROSS!!

  • PotHole
    June 6, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Pretty sure that if he saw you walking and obsessed with looking down at your cell phone he assumed you were good and had called AAA or a friend to help you out.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    June 5, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    Reminds me of that TV commercial in which two people get “stuck” on an escalator when the power goes out, don’t know what to do, then start yelling for help.

  • Billy Bob
    June 5, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    If all women are so powerful and independent, why didn’t she put on her pussy hat and find a solution to the problem herself?

  • Cracker Jack
    June 5, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Officer should have given her a parking ticket. That would’ve iced her cake!

  • JohnnyG
    June 5, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    Typical snowflake. Someone should let her know she forgot to make sure her cleavage was in that one selfie.

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