All-Star Criminals

Buyer Beware: Conniving East Freetown Automotive Fabricator Keanu Thieves Will Con You Right Out Of Your Car And Leave You With A Mess

Looking to have your vehicle fabricated? Let me tell you where NOT to go.  This oil-stain on the automotive community is Steve Oldham, and he is the head hack in charge at Top Notch Race Fab of East Freetown.


Steve takes a long time to get any work done –  if you want to call completely hacking apart your vehicle, ripping out anything remotely valuable like a hungry vulture, and then leaving the ravaged carcass for you to deal with “work”. Take this guy for instance.  He sent his car to Top Notch for a replacement convertible top (which the customer provided) and a tune-up. Steve was given another mustang chassis as a trade for the work, under the agreement that he would receive the title upon completion. Two years later this happens.

Two years is a long time to wait to for a convertible top and tune up, especially when instead of getting your car back you get the most direct “fuck yourself” possible. Hey Steveo, you’re kind of a huge dick, buddy.

Apparently this is the business model that this con-man of a car fabricator has been adhering to for quite some time.



Here is a photo of John’s Mustang. It was a running and driving car. After Stevie Scissorhands got done with it, it was deemed a total loss by the insurance company. The interior had been destroyed because the car was left outside for a long period of time with no glass in it, and was missing a bunch of parts.

There appears to be no shortage of people out there pissed off with this shabby grifter’s thievery.


He seems really popular. You’re a superstar, Keanu Thieves. And this is your big box office moment!



Sending your car to this hack is like leaving half a cigarette in a public ashtray. You’re probably never going to see it again, and if you do, you’re not going to want to touch it.

Unsurprisingly, he has some google trophies…


A LOT of Google trophies.





Which just makes him all the more trustworthy, clearly. Give him your car!


Keanu Thieves is such a prolific liar and scam artist that he even tried to use his dying mother as an excuse to avoid his customers.

Total shitbag move.  It just might’ve worked….

…but unfortunately he didn’t confer with family members before his sister went and posted on FB that ma-dukes was indeed cancer-free.


Anyway, I’m no auto expert, but I know a shitbag when I see one. And I’m getting the feeling this isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of this one.


32 Comment(s)
  • LB
    September 11, 2019 at 8:25 am

    This loser happens to be someone who has also caused MUCH Aggravation in my life as well.. But great news as of yesterday I heard he finally got picked up and is doing 30 days!! He deserves a life behind bars for the scum bag that he is. Karma has been slow coming but I hope she is ruthless now!! Big F U Steve!

    • P.C.
      September 11, 2019 at 4:44 pm

      Kinda like how you fucked 15 people out a job! Guess you learned something from him about screwing people over! Get over yourself!

    • See You in Court ;)
      September 11, 2019 at 6:51 pm

      YaaaaY the scumbag loser is behind bars, where scumbag losers belong! Enjoy the fresh smell of urine on the floors and walls! Thank you for sharing this awesome news!! Come on people- press charges on the dirtbag if he stole or ripped you off too! ROT IN HELL STEPHEN SCUMBAG!

  • Lifetime Movie
    August 5, 2019 at 5:16 am

    Anyone who still needs their vehicle back from Steve Oldham- please comment on this thread. Thank you

  • Not Stupid
    July 24, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    This guy is a scumbag! I met him online 3 years ago and he asked me for $900 for his sick dog. I absolutely believe he would cheat people every chance he gets. Run like hell like I did!

  • Authentic (try hahder)
    July 20, 2019 at 7:35 am

    I wanted to write for Turtleboy Sports,
    Exposing people with all their warts;

    The bar’s set low,
    It’s easy dough,

    Begging in my old boxer shorts.

    • Dick Scratcher
      July 23, 2019 at 6:36 am

      Not bad for a first attempt.

      Impressive. B++

  • Lenuare Foxworth
    July 19, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    It’s why he still walking free is because no one wants to press charges I am the only 1 who is able to actually have him a court right now for destroying my car and stilling my motor.

    • Lifetime Movie
      August 5, 2019 at 5:43 am

      This guy is sick and twisted, and belongs in jail. His time is running out. For the people saying bad comments- you have no idea how BAD this story in REAL life is. Thank you Turtleboy for this post. You may have helped victims – MANY victims, retrieve their property back!!! Steve owes at least $100,000 and counting to numerous people. Let’s hope he gets a Lenghty Jail Sentence soon. He can Run BUT he can’t hide!!!!

  • Bret
    July 19, 2019 at 7:32 am

    Is the guy a dick?
    But this smells like a personal vendetta, and anyone who waits 2 years for auto work deserves to walk…lol
    2 out of 10.
    You tried, kinda

  • Lord Flashheart
    July 19, 2019 at 7:22 am

    Give the blogger a break. It’s a first attempt. The bar is pretty high here. You jack offs try.

  • M
    July 19, 2019 at 7:10 am

    That beard and the backwards cap automatically tell me he’s guilty of everything.

  • whatevuh
    July 18, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    Reading it on a phone? I’m on a PC at home with a 17″ screen, and I still can’t read it, and I wear glasses too ! What a waste . . . .

    • TheSqaudFitToBeMyJanitors
      July 22, 2019 at 8:08 pm

      Look at his face. Would you buy a used car off that guy? He has me-me-me and fuck you written all over it.

  • WeRFucked
    July 18, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Love the tiny screen captures I can’t read. It really helps to bring the whole story together.

    Wait… no. If I can’t read the tiny little screen captures, the story makes no sense.

    Fuck you. No donation to TBS.

    • TBStaff
      July 22, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      Get some eyeglasses then you fucking freak.

  • Derp
    July 18, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    Turtle Tryout is a Turtle Fail.

  • NoseFace
    July 18, 2019 at 5:03 pm

    Jesus Christ….there’s 3 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. That made me miss the old days of reading the back of a shampoo bottle while taking a shit.

    • No Thanks
      July 18, 2019 at 7:51 pm

      3 minutes? Took me 10 just to try to get through all the bs nevermind the screenshots you can barely make out because they’re so blurry.

  • Ratchesourous Rex
    July 18, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    Well if this isn’t a wonderful belated birthday gift for good ole Stevie boy….

  • clarke lane,weekly asteroide
    July 18, 2019 at 3:27 pm

    seems your just putting long boring bullshit stories for us knuckleheads ,i bet no one read the whole story,condense it motherfucker,condense it.

  • No Way
    July 18, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    Having been a reader here for awhile now I’ve come to expect some minor factual inaccuracies but when the pictures don’t even come close to the subject matter you’re really reaching bad.
    I have to give you an F- for your try out.

  • Dumb Shit
    July 18, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    Honestly how stupid do you think us readers are that we don’t know what a convertible looks like???
    It’s either you think we are stupid or this writer is a total fucking idiot!

  • Dumb Shit
    July 18, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    This story makes zero sense at all?????
    Let me try to understand, so this guy dropped his Mustang off to get his convertible top replaced……..he just waited for two years and left his car there?
    I think I may have some of it figured out, the car in the before and after pictures is a HARD top Mustang fastback. You can’t put a convertible top on a fastback silly!

  • Cheddah
    July 18, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Yeah I’m sure this kid is a shitbag I guess..It’s just hard to gauge how bad he is due to the awful grammar and presentation of this story.

  • Y
    July 18, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Please hire a proofreader…or proof your own work before publishing.

  • WTF
    July 18, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    What the fuck did I just try and read? Did the guy get his Rustang back or not? What’s going on here?

  • Sprinkle Pig
    July 18, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Not bad for a first blog. Anyone who reads turtleboy knows that grammar it’s the top priority. So anyone who is complaining about that must be new or just a whinny twat. Either way this kid sucks I hope he gets his ass kicked. There’s not a lot worse than waiting for your car to get finished from the auto mechanic especially if you’re expecting a large bill at the end of it. With all those google trophy’s and his current profession of ripping people off how in the fuck is he not in prison? Oh right it’s Massachusetts.

    • Whiny Twat
      July 18, 2019 at 1:35 pm

      Not sure about the OP, but I pay 10 bucks a month for this site… sure, I don’t see one or two ads, but I shouldn’t expect even the slightest professionalism or pride in one’s published work?

      • TheCureForHope
        July 19, 2019 at 7:57 pm

        Oh please, another perfectionist.

        Does that $10 bucks/month change your life? If so, you must be a welfare recipient with no crotchfruit to build up the check.

        This is the blogger’s first blog. Cut him/her some slack.

        The grammar bothers me a lot too. But I come for the content, and that enables me to give a pass on the grammar.

        Whiny Twat is an appropriate screen name. As is self-righteous prick.

  • Groan
    July 18, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Does this idiot have no clue how to proofread, or is that on the morons running this blog? Have some fucking pride in your work, for Chrissakes.

    • TheCureForHope
      July 19, 2019 at 7:48 pm

      The blogger is a Turtle Tryout. Cut him/her a little slack.

      Oh wait….I forgot you are perfect in every way.

      Fuck off.

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