Cambridge Cream Donkey Flashes The Mutton Dagger To A Woman While Jogging And The State Police Want To Know His Name 


The State Police are looking for some guy who allegedly pulled off the rare feat of exposing himself to a woman on a busy street in Cambridge while both of them were jogging in opposite directions.

A lot of people in the comments are pointing out that we don’t actually see him exposing himself, proving once again that no one on the Internet ever reads.


Obviously the cops aren’t going to show you his junk on Facebook, and if there were nothing to the incident then they wouldn’t be asking the public to help identify him.

Plus, look at the way she reacts with cat like reflexes the moment she processes the fact that she just saw dong.

Wait…..what the fuck just happened?

This guy knew he done wrong because he turned around and looked at her, to see if she enjoyed staring at his flaccid fap toy.

As it turns out she didn’t, which is why she immediately pivoted and chased him down.

My question is, why? How do you expect that this will work out to your benefit? Do you think a random stranger running in the opposite direction will see your tonsil tickler and be like, “Holy shit, I’ve never seen a cock like that before!! I gotta go back and give him a couple pumps. I simply cannot continue living without that cervix scraper in my life. The preview was too good.”

Newsflash – they all generally look the same. And despite what I’ve seen in some of my favorite movies, women generally don’t lust for cock. It’s a useful device for them, but it’s not the same thing as a nice pair of gerber servers are to men. Women don’t sit there and fiddle their lady bits to pictures of dong, as much as we would like them to. That’s not how this works.

Here’s my other question – was he going running specifically so he could do this? Did he try this on other women? I can’t imagine this is a one time thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had to adjust before on runs, but whipping it out right when a woman is coming at you is an intentional act.

So yea, if you’ve seen the Cambridge Cream Donkey, or you are the Cambridge Cream Donkey, feel free to send us a message on Facebook to Clarence Woods Emerson or the new Turtleboy Super Terrific Happy Page, or email

If this is all a big misunderstanding we would love to clear it up, but for now we put our trust in the state police that they’ve done their due diligence.


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69 Comment(s)
  • Bobo
    July 27, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    All I saw in the video was the woman assaulting the man. Even if he showed her his dingaling, that’s nothing compared to literally assaulting him.

    • scotty
      July 28, 2019 at 4:20 am

      I wouldn’t say “it’s nothing compared to…” but I certainly agree with your point that a hands-on physical assault is far more serious than a weenie wagger. If they find him I hope he presses assault charges.

  • bob
    July 27, 2019 at 9:52 am

    She took offense….it wasn’t a skinless frank.

  • R. Crumb
    July 26, 2019 at 11:07 am

    I’ll bet she gives good piggy back rides.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    Jack Straw from Wichita
    July 25, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    “If that’s flashing, then lock me up.”

    Creed from “The Office”

  • Stunt Penis
    July 25, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    This guy better never play the lottery. I mean, you flash your junk to a hot 6′ blonde on the road, and… what’s the odds… she’s a Israeli Mossad agent? Talk about shitty luck.

  • Stoney Tony
    July 25, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    All I see is an Amazon woman attacking a guy who is jogging minding his own business. Lock her up !!!!

  • Wanna see it?
    July 25, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Wait, so if I’m feeling gender confused I can go into the ladie’s room and whip out my crank, but if I’m jogging near a woman and I show it to her she can kick my ass?

  • Jussies Mom
    July 25, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    I heard he yelled “THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY” as he flashed her mid-run. Im surprised TB is falling for this BS story.

  • marilu
    July 25, 2019 at 12:30 pm

    Wtf did she thinking chasing after him was gonna do though? lol he probably took it as a compliment, in his abnormal mind that probably meant she liked what he did & NOW he will continue to do it all the time. Good job.

    • Kenneth Foley
      July 25, 2019 at 6:26 pm

      Stay under your rock

      • Frank Poli
        July 25, 2019 at 7:43 pm

        Under a rock, or cock? He’s right, the perv was saying “hmm she must really want it”, right up until she committed A&B on him. Even then he just figured she was into bondage and wanted to slap his sausage around. Apparently his tadpole didn’t measure up or she wouldn’t have filed charged, and instead got on her knees and did her womanly duty. She should be charged with withholding sex to a male for giving him relief.

  • Integrity 101
    July 25, 2019 at 11:41 am

    “To protect the integrity of the investigation, the segment of the video that was released does not show the actual act of indecent exposure.”

    Wow! All of a sudden they are so concerned about integrity. How many troopers Have been convicted for stealing money now?

  • Francis Sidebottom
    July 25, 2019 at 9:30 am

    Uncle turtle turd please sick ice on this man hater and send her back ,, she sucks so bad the fathers of her 2 kids disappeared

    • Frank Poli
      July 25, 2019 at 9:35 am

      I agree, any snatch as ugly as that cunt should have been glad to even catch a glimpse of a mans genitalia. She should have immediately got on her knees and thanked god for a glimpse of his manhood, then done what all bitches should do, and gave him a great blowjob.

  • Gutter Muppet Honey
    July 25, 2019 at 9:23 am

    I think his name is Randall Guy.

  • capone181
    July 25, 2019 at 8:14 am

    Confucius say, Women who pins man to ground have crack up.

  • Whip it out in the Women's bathroom or locker room, not a crime.
    July 25, 2019 at 4:43 am

  • That Girl Was Me
    July 25, 2019 at 2:31 am

    What a brave hero.
    this psycho dim was probably listening to das kapital on her iphone. the abridged version. i do not #believeallsurvivors and thankfully neither do the three or four people who endured this spectacle. psycho.
    go back to your country.


  • Free the MH
    July 25, 2019 at 12:38 am

    In Worcester they walk down main street butt ass naked when schools are getting out.
    I think this snow flake should go back to her shit hole country and fix it then come back and circumcise this guy.

    • Stop Male Genital Mutilation
      July 25, 2019 at 3:38 am

      What’s wrong With a shrouded Dong? I bet this twat has seen more joo hooded cocks than a Jew pediatrician.

      On a side not…..fuck
      they do with all them hooded mergansers when they’re done with ’em’ ? They can have the wrinkly tip o’ me prick when Lizzy Warren gets her man in the canoe cut off

      • Al
        July 25, 2019 at 5:11 am

        Please tell that 1) you are still taking your meds? And 2) that you have had a vasectomy (before your tiny Tim did any damage) I mean its not like you could get laid without paying for it, but just in case…

    • Y
      July 25, 2019 at 9:21 am

      Is Worcester as bad as LA?

  • Sergeant Shulz Mueller
    July 24, 2019 at 10:55 pm

    I don’t know this “Cambridge”. Where is it? What’s Mossad? I can’t really speak to this “Israel” or what it is. This is all outside my purview.

  • .
    July 24, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    Generally the same ? Ever see the end of “Boogie Nights” ?

  • Something smells fishy
    July 24, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    So let me get this straight. A guy decides he’s going expose himself to a 6’1” female jogger. She then runs him down and tells multiple people to call 911 but to no avail, allegedly. This female also just happens to be a form Israeli soldier. She then goes on live television and calls out her “attacker”. Anyone else smell rotten pussy?

  • Ja Hailee Omar (Islamic Turtleboy)
    July 24, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    It’s called the cock and jog and the Nike nip slip.
    Everyone who jogs up and down the Charles River for Uncle Al Queda know about this.
    You flash her a little bit of cock out the zipper for a couple days, she pulls her sport bra up a little passing byeafter a cpl. days then you meet to eat goat milk and hate on the Israeli Mussad No?

  • Rickys
    July 24, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    According to channel 5, the woman happened to be a former member of the Israeli army and she held him down while trying get the someone from Cambridge to call the police, but to no avail.

  • The Streak
    July 24, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    Every other sexual deviant behavior has been normalized, we have trannies reading to kids, anal sex training for 5 year olds etc…. Why can’t we just normalize this sexual deviancy ?

  • Macys Dish Department
    July 24, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Great Day For America.
    Derp State busted.
    Trump vindicated

    A big newsworthy story that Turtleboysports should cover.

    • whatevuh
      July 24, 2019 at 8:38 pm

      someone has to do it . . . . what the hell is a derp state?

      • Literal shitstain
        July 24, 2019 at 10:07 pm

        A typo

      • Mueller Fail
        July 25, 2019 at 4:55 am

    • Y
      July 24, 2019 at 8:51 pm

      Thank you. The dems looked foolish.
      Sztrok’s “insurance policy” failed miserably!
      You can’t exonerate someone; in America, you’re innocent until proven guilty.
      Watch the media shift from this to Epstein…
      TB, c’mon…

      • Deep State TKO'D
        July 24, 2019 at 10:35 pm

        You would like to think that is so but ask Joe Salvatti about Mueller cover up and non exoneration.

        • Y
          July 25, 2019 at 12:44 am

          Deep state is trying:

          • Pathetic
            July 25, 2019 at 10:26 am

            No deep state there just a pathetic pedo with a faked suicide to try and get transfered to a better prison. The inmates would have gotton this skinner if they wanted too

          • Christopher Lettiere
            July 25, 2019 at 10:42 am

            He’s in a SHU, supposed to be watched 24/7.

      • Mad Maxine Waters
        July 24, 2019 at 10:40 pm

        What you mean boy I had that bitch convicted and impeached already. I am gonna have to go full on chimp out mode tomorrow about dis injustice of da court.
        We needed special counsel Ratchet Rollins on our side. This is one case she would have prosecuted.

  • bill fleming
    July 24, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    He is a dope. He should have rode a bike in the naked bike ride in Cambridge and could have flashed all the naked girls riding their bikes.

  • The Genduso Files
    July 24, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    The State Police are ethical and alwsys tell the truth. Every trooper has a pristine background. None would ever think of stealing overtime money. None would ever drive drunk on rt 16 and blame the family they smashed into.
    They are a bunch of choir boys.

    • Blue Lives Matter
      July 25, 2019 at 12:21 am

      We get it, you hate cops.

      • Just The Facts Mam
        July 25, 2019 at 8:12 am

        Obviously you dont get it.
        Lots of corruption in MA state police too numerous to mention.
        They have no more credibility than an average person on the street at this point. When turtleboy ask you whose word are you gonna take it is tough to say State Police based on past and present behavior.

        • Fran
          July 25, 2019 at 9:31 am

          All I saw in the video was a beefed up butch attacking and assaulting the male. While I’m pretty sure he flicked his bic at her, she assaulted him. The media makes her out to be a hero? She’s a worse criminal than the guy who flashed her. I hope the guy gets caught, and files A&B charges on the ugly cunt. Which brings me to why a man would show a nasty butch like that his genitals? She makes my boy pretend he’s a turtle and duck inside.

      • Deflection Looks Bad
        July 25, 2019 at 10:23 am

        We get it you cover up for corruption. Whats the difference between a drug dealing cop and a felon. Whats the difference between a thief and an overtime cop bandit. They seem the same to me. So corrupt cops dont matter and they are not above the law or else we have anarchy.

        • Frank Poli
          July 25, 2019 at 5:28 pm

          Guess what? They are all corrupt because the good ones keep silent about the bad ones.

  • whatevuh
    July 24, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    And 4 people came by while she was trying to restrain him, and not one tried to help or call 911 for her, people just suck, period . . . .

    • Huh?
      July 24, 2019 at 8:17 pm

      Correction, of the four Cambridge residents on scene 3 men tried to suck the guys cock and the lone woman kept screaming Viva innocent Hondorous men this violence is Trumps fault!!!!!!

  • Natasha
    July 24, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    This is why I don’t live in Cambridge (has nothing to do with my finances). Colrain is cool too.

  • Bernie Sanders
    July 24, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Sooo all u got to do is show a hot jogger lady your cock and she will run after you and physically wrestle you “detain you” sounds like a bdsm session. She didn’t run away from him she ran after him and held onto him.

    You call it lewd I call it love, Bernie “pencil dick” Sanders.

    Sanders, 73, wrote in 1972 for an alternative newspaper called the Vermont Freeman. “A woman enjoys intercourse with her man — as she fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously.”

    • Larry Mondello
      July 24, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      In other news, this man will also be cited by the Board of Health for selling hot dogs without a license.

      • Slow Poke
        July 24, 2019 at 9:40 pm

        I believe to be charged, he would actually have to make a successful transaction. Obviously she wasn’t buying what he was trying to sell. He was one fugly uck, though. Good thing I got gray hair, I’m about his size and plod with the same gait.

  • Mom’s Basement
    July 24, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    You know he copped a feel when she tried to apprehend him.

  • Fran
    July 24, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    “Woman”?? Where? I saw that beast in the press conference, and aside from thighs the size of Texas, she had a set of very large balls, and a bulge in the middle. That was one waste of a good flash.

  • Y
    July 24, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    The victim is an ex Israeli military smoke show.

  • Johnny Cockring
    July 24, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Once the rascal finds the opening it’s like a moth to a light. A funky pair of boxers and a fly left unzipped and I can see it happening.

    • Ford Bronco
      July 24, 2019 at 8:18 pm

      If his dick dont fit then you must acquit.

  • Bob kraft
    July 24, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    It wasn’t me this time I like them much younger.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 24, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    I would be so offended if this Trumpster exposed his rock-hard member to me. I could not imagine staring at his pulsating cock while i was trying to get on with my day. I would ignore his engorged phallus like it didn’t exist. I would not be longing for his manhood to be shoved into every orifice of my being.

  • Gay Dave
    July 24, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    Oh I’m sure you have seen your fair share of cocks Turtleboy. It wasn’t me and I can give you three reasons why, 1. I don’t run, 2. If I whipped my fuck muscle out while running I’d trip over the fucking thing and 3. I’m gay.

    • Al
      July 24, 2019 at 6:11 pm

      The fatal flaw in your argument is a trumptard with a hardon, that just doesn’t happen. They are the soft limp crowd, with tiny hands. Now Elizabeth Warren has a throbbing monster, just like all democrats.

      • Gay Dave
        July 24, 2019 at 7:38 pm

        You’re wrong Al. Instead of being negative why don’t you buy a ticket and show up at the GOUSA rally in Billerica??? Who know’s, maybe even you can get a passing by tug job from a Cambridge resident who will eventually be Speaker of the House.

        • Angst
          July 25, 2019 at 3:24 am

          See unlike you perverted trumptards I am not seeking illicit sex.

    • Kim Wescott
      July 24, 2019 at 9:10 pm

      Oh, don’t you so flatter yourself, gay Dave? Probably there is SOMEONE, male or female, that would let you within 30 feet of their body parts.

      I guess, just enjoy that you MIGHT get.

  • Send her back.
    July 24, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Women should be worshipping our cocks like the subservient cum dumpsters they are, right Turtleriders?

    • Al
      July 25, 2019 at 7:47 pm

      Absolutely! On their knees, humming away. A good woman has her mouth full of cock twice a day, and if they do it good maybe we will do them the favor of throwing a good fuck into them.

  • One Adam 12
    July 24, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    People from Cambridge suck
    Victimless crime became all involved are twats

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