The State Police are looking for some guy who allegedly pulled off the rare feat of exposing himself to a woman on a busy street in Cambridge while both of them were jogging in opposite directions.
A lot of people in the comments are pointing out that we don’t actually see him exposing himself, proving once again that no one on the Internet ever reads.
Obviously the cops aren’t going to show you his junk on Facebook, and if there were nothing to the incident then they wouldn’t be asking the public to help identify him.
Plus, look at the way she reacts with cat like reflexes the moment she processes the fact that she just saw dong.
Wait…..what the fuck just happened?
This guy knew he done wrong because he turned around and looked at her, to see if she enjoyed staring at his flaccid fap toy.
As it turns out she didn’t, which is why she immediately pivoted and chased him down.
My question is, why? How do you expect that this will work out to your benefit? Do you think a random stranger running in the opposite direction will see your tonsil tickler and be like, “Holy shit, I’ve never seen a cock like that before!! I gotta go back and give him a couple pumps. I simply cannot continue living without that cervix scraper in my life. The preview was too good.”
Newsflash – they all generally look the same. And despite what I’ve seen in some of my favorite movies, women generally don’t lust for cock. It’s a useful device for them, but it’s not the same thing as a nice pair of gerber servers are to men. Women don’t sit there and fiddle their lady bits to pictures of dong, as much as we would like them to. That’s not how this works.
Here’s my other question – was he going running specifically so he could do this? Did he try this on other women? I can’t imagine this is a one time thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had to adjust before on runs, but whipping it out right when a woman is coming at you is an intentional act.
So yea, if you’ve seen the Cambridge Cream Donkey, or you are the Cambridge Cream Donkey, feel free to send us a message on Facebook to Clarence Woods Emerson or the new Turtleboy Super Terrific Happy Page, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
If this is all a big misunderstanding we would love to clear it up, but for now we put our trust in the state police that they’ve done their due diligence.
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