This is Reka Vilarson,
the classy young entrepreneur responsible for this shining example of Chelsea concierge service we blogged about earlier today:
Hennything is possible, except this broad obtaining the proper licenses and tax ID to sell boozy ratchet nectar fruit confections out of the back seat of her ’01 Honda civic.
As it turns out, Reka was less than thrilled with the blog, and she let us know in the most gloriously all caps, expletive riddled string of barely coherent threats I could have ever wished for.
Attorney General’s office, huh? That’s a new one.
I read and re-read the blog several times and couldn’t find the term “porch monkey”, or any other reference to race, derogatory or otherwise, anywhere. I think Reka is confused. She’s also confused about the proper channels to handle and serve liquor, the role of the Attorney General, and rudimentary laws of grammar, like when to use capitalization and punctuation.
Well, ok then. Apparently she’s coming after all our “real jobs”, children, and going to (presumably) beat us up for derogatory racial slurs we didn’t use. She seems stable, and certainly not propensed to violence.
Oh, whoops! I never would have guessed that a classy broad hawking chocolate and brown liquor soaked fruit with a face like this
Would have assault and battery and witness intimidation charges. Truly shocking. File this one under “So Chelsea it burns when I pee now”.
Anywho, Reka, I would love it if you wanted to continue our lovely little chat on the Turtleboy Live Show this weekend. I really am anxiously awaiting the proof of your liquor license, food handling certification and tax ID number. Or at least an explanation as to why you feel like simply stating you made no sales is some sort of defense. I’d also like to know the logic on threatening us with the Attorney General’s office over a blog written about your illegal business practices. It feels sort of like a drug dealer complaining to the police that we blogged about him selling crack, but what do I know? Ah oh, by the way,
Some of our Turtleriders would like to know, too. But whatever you do guys, do NOT message her and ask to see her liquor license. She’s already changed her name to Geta Clue, so obviously she does not want to be bothered with things like laws or safe food handling, or taxes.