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Chelsea Woman Beater And Puerto Rican Pitbull Look Alike Tries To Shoot Wife And Daughter, Gets Caught In Firefight With The Fuzz From His House, Burns That Shit Down; Fam Goes Full Throttle Free My Boi, Starts GoFundMe

Go big or go home and set that bitch on fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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SOURCE: CHELSEA, Mass. —A 38-year-old man is dead after a police-involved gunfire exchange and standoff in Chelsea Monday night.

Investigators said the incident is a case of domestic violence. 

Chelsea Police Chief Brian Kyes said officers responded to the area of Warren Avenue Monday evening for a call about a man threatening to shoot his wife.

State police said the altercation resulted in the man chasing his wife out of the home and across the street to another house, where the man allegedly fired a gun in the direction of the room where his wife and daughter were hiding. The man then returned to the original house.

When police arrived, they were met with gunfire from a man who barricaded himself. At least two officers returned fire, officials said.

Multiple agencies responded to the scene after the exchange.

Suffolk County District Attorney Dan Conley identified the man as Kelly Pastrana. 

Video taken by WCVB photographer Stanley Forman captures shots being fired at a distance.

Just after 11 p.m., a fire broke out at the scene with thick, black smoke billowing into the night sky.

A photo from the scene showed heavy flames pouring out of the home where the armed suspect fired at police. Firefighters at the scene were reportedly wearing bulletproof vests as they battle the fire.

Police made repeated attempts to verbally persuade the man to exit the home and surrender, without a response.

The medical examiner said Pastrana died of a gunshot wound to the abdomen and thermal injuries that occurred in the fire, Conley said.

The incident remains under investigation.

Kyes said the 40-year-old woman and her 10-year-old daughter are safe.

I don’t know if you guys happened to tune into the late news on Monday night, but this shit was EVERYWHERE. Units from MSP, Transit Police, Everett, Somerville and as far away as Salem responded to 80 Warren Street in Chelsea to back up their brethren in blue in what was an extremely volatile situation.

The videos from the scene say it all:

 

I have to think this is every first responder’s worst nightmare. You have an unstable dude shooting at you from the protection of his home for several hours. When he sees that shit isn’t working to get you to go away, what does he do? Oh, normal shit, like maybe tossing a book of matches into a trashcan to burn that motherfucker to the ground. A first responder has no idea if there is an arsenal of weapons stashed in the crib, if said cache might explode, and then you top it all off with the conundrum of fire personnel – how exactly do you get them close enough to cut the blaze down without making the firemen sitting ducks?

Thankfully, Chelsea FD was just outfitted this month with bullet proof vests on their trucks.  However, firefighters say it’s not enough, and want more equipment, and more importantly, more training. I can’t agree with them more. If SWAT gets to swoop in in an armored car and full ballistic suit with a Kevlar helmet, then, the FD should be just as protected in situations like this, especially in fucking CHELSEA. Hellooooo – Chelsea graces every top ‘100 most dangerous cities’ list in the US, ranking more dangerous than places like Miami (have you SEEN The First 48?!) Shit is bananas.

Just another Monday evening in Chelsea with kids being dragged out of their beds on a school night to run for their lives through Prattville. #nbd

The mental midget responsible for this melee?

Kelly Pastrana

A wannabe Pitbull-meets-Sean-Paul Puerto Rican papi.

The catalyst for this Monday night mowdown was “family problems” according to Kelly’s free my boi fam. Fuckknuckle gets in a fight with his babymama, threatens to shoot her – typical Chelsea love story. Now, if Mr. NSTB threatened to shoot me, I’d probably laugh in his face, knowing he wasn’t serious because… well, that’s not what normal spouses do (even if you fantasize about it when you find the trash overflowing for the 5th time that week and have projects around the house left half-finished for MONTHS.) Clearly, this woman had been tuned up before and took his threat seriously. She grabbed her kid and hightailed it to the neighbor’s house. PRitbull follows her and actually shoots a round at the room in the neighbor’s house where his kid and wife are hiding out, because, he’s a reasonable guy.

I mean, look at him. Anyone with the time and patience to undergo manscaping like that on his brows and tuna tickler is definitely a stable guy.

After poppin’ a cap in the neighbor’s house, Kelly had the only coherent thought he’s probably had in his life “Oh shit, the neighbor probably called the cops” and flees back to his house. Once the fuzz arrived, they began an hours’ long exchange of gunfire before PRitbull realized it was a losing battle. So he did what any reasonable bitch ass would do and lit his house on fire. ‘Cause if he was gonna go down, so was the house and the entire fucking neighborhood.

Eventually, the firefighters got the blaze under control and it was confirmed that PRitbull was no more; he was reduced to a pile of ashes and rubbish rubble and the threat was over. GREAT work on behalf of the first responders, by the way.

And now that the threat had been abated, it was only hours before the #freemahboi crew was out in full effect, starting with Kelly’s tia Evelyn:

She’s brokenhearted, going crazy in the hospital, and wants everyone to know it’s her brother, Tito’s son.

She continues the data deluge:

 

Putting my high school Spanish to the test, it reads something along the lines of: “God, please help to support me with this great pain, he was like a son to me, my first nephew, rest in peace my love, fly high, my life, Auntie will always love you my love” But she doesn’t stop there.

She starts sharing fucking articles related to PRitbull’s death, like he’s the victim here.

And of course, all her friends roll out with the “RIP” bullshit, like this gutterslug is some great loss for humanity:

Let me tell you – I hope PRitbull here rots and never has a moment’s peace if there is such thing as an afterlife. I hope that in his last minutes on this earth, he felt the flames wash over him while his skin sloughed off in chunks. I hope he choked on the stench of his flesh cooking and I hope he tasted every ounce of the smoke that filled his lungs to his very last breath. He just scarred his innocent, 10-year-old child for life. I am not even sure if there is any amount of therapy on the planet that could help this child to recover and become a normal, productive member of society. Not that she had much of a chance living in Chelsea, but, her odds were still decent. I hope I’m wrong, and I hope she’s OK and can put this behind her, but I doubt it.

Couldn’t he have just taken himself out instead of torturing everyone around him? He could’ve simply launched his crotch rocket off the Tobin and saved everyone the trouble of the media coverage, and of course, the Turtleboy Infamy.

But nah, homie don’t play like that.

And as it always seems with these tragedies, the free my boi crew is out, decrying PRitbull’s role in this, saying the Devil had taken over:

I guess this is what happens when you miss Church on Sunday.

 

Because cookies and psalms are the fast track  to filling the void left by a “good” man joining the Jesus Team

I’m with you, Jesus.

And as if all THAT wasn’t enough…

The famjam has started a GoFraudMe to pay for this gutterslug’s funeral. Know what’s free? Going down to the now-dilapidated house, scooping some ashes into a makeshift Country Crock Tupperware and flushing it down the toilet where SHIT belongs. Would save everyone a hell of a lot of effort, and the send off would be fitting.

This primo goes on to state that PRitbull was a GREAT person, father, and friend who cared very deeply for his family. Yeah, because all deeply devoted husbands and fathers go around shooting at their wives and burning their houses down, so the family has to rebuild from literally ground zero. Stand up guy. Everything he did was not FOR them, but TO them. He was an abusive, egotistical, megalomaniac and it shows in how he went out. Literally NO ONE with half a brain will miss this guy. Everyone is better off without him and it is a fucking blessing that he only took himself out.

26 Comment(s)
  • Need to know basis
    May 29, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    AH YES…..then there’s YOU GUYS!! You guys would jump off a bridge cause THE NEWS KNOWS ALL!! And well…..apparently you guys too, hahaha! Whatever FACEBOOK says, or WHDH says, it’s has to be written in stone! GET A F’N LIFE and put your little CRYSTAL BALLS AWAY!

  • gina
    May 26, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    OMG…you find the trash overflowing for the 5th time that week and have projects around the house left half-finished for MONTHS.)

    We just had this exact same discussion in my house recently..lolol..love it….sometimes men drive you nuts but ya cant actually kill them for it…unless your a psycho like this dude

  • Independent Thinker
    May 26, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    Firemen take enough risks without having some nutcase shooting at them. If there is a fire and someone inside is shooting, then the firemen should just leave and let the place burn to the ground with the person inside. Bullet-proof vests are not enough when you’re standing there with a hose aimed at the fire.

    • Fed up
      May 26, 2017 at 8:43 pm

      I’m sure the owner / landlord of the house isn’t happy about his house burning down. I doubt he will ever be able to afford property insurance again.

  • Your name here*
    May 26, 2017 at 9:58 am

    He should have killed himself just for having a girls name. What a homo. Probably an illegal immigrant too….with AIDS….and dealing drugs….piece of shit

  • azifell99
    Azif
    May 26, 2017 at 7:41 am

    Wasn’t he already cremated. No need for funeral

  • MrSmiley
    May 26, 2017 at 3:05 am

    Why couldn’t he just be a good boy and tuck that gun underneath that neatly shaved chin and just demolished his own brain under a bridge? Nooo shoot at women. Wah wah give me attention im mad bullshit. Fuck this dude. He’s Aaron Hernandez new bottom bitch.

    • MrSmiley
      May 26, 2017 at 4:52 am

      Somehow the gofundme already has 1500 dollars. The hell is wrong with people…

      • blehhhhhhhhhhh
        May 26, 2017 at 9:32 pm

        Maybe GoFundMe accepts EBT…

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    May 26, 2017 at 2:24 am

    Good riddance to bad garbage.
    I hope that the family (girlfriend and daughter) can get over what this monster did to them, despite the efforts of his family to make him out to be some sort of martyred saint.

  • North Country Turtle Rider
    May 26, 2017 at 12:19 am

    I’d be willing to donate the ash tray that I made in 9th grade pottery class. It has sentimental value to me, but I would donate it so that his family can still have an open casket service.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      May 26, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      Didn’t know shit burns. Learn something new every day..

  • So Typical
    May 25, 2017 at 11:53 pm

    Turtlette, my hat is off to you. Superb article. Hit it right on the head. More degenerates should have the same ending. And for those donating to to the #gofundme….save your money to pay what little your section 8 doesn’t pay, the 1st is right around the corner.

  • wwhat?
    May 25, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Funeral? The guy torched himself…how much do they think it is going to cost?
    Oh never mind – we’re not dealing with people with shame or consciences here.

    “Everything he did was for them…” Including terrorizing them, shooting at them, burning where they lived and everything in it, down.

    Want to do something useful? Stop making this tool out to be a saint and instead of baking him cookies and posting on FB, help his ‘fiance’ and the child out of your own pockets.

    Let’s hope his EBT melted in the fire and no one in su familia can figure out how to request a replacement.

    • wwhat?
      May 25, 2017 at 10:59 pm

      From GoFundMe:
      A campaign organizer may be committing fraud if:

      They are intentionally including factually incorrect information on their campaign.

    • Tony
      May 26, 2017 at 9:20 am

      You realize this is a man who needed help he didn’t get? Mental illness is a huge issue in his country no one gives a damn about. Instead, we write articles shitting on the people who suffer so others see that stigma and won’t look for help. Whoever you are, you should be ashamed for writing something so disgustingly disgraceful. Do something useful and get off your ass and actually HELP!

      • eddweena bravo
        May 26, 2017 at 9:44 am

        so your the womb that gave birth to this piece of shit im assuming

      • Mike Rotch
        May 26, 2017 at 11:52 am

        Tony… not my circus, not my porch-monkey…

      • MrSmiley
        May 26, 2017 at 1:39 pm

        Yes. The voices told him to shoot at the people he supposedly loved. Oh they also told him to go out n grab an illegal firearm. So many resources nowadays, and you’re gonna bring that noise? Fuck him. If this guy had his way they’d be burying 3 instead of 1.

      • itsjustme
        Itsjustme
        May 26, 2017 at 1:58 pm

        I don’t think domestic violence/woman beater = mental illness.

      • Talisman
        May 26, 2017 at 3:09 pm

        Sorry, sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all stocked up here. We’re tired of being stabbed in the ass for half our gross pay to fund the worthless shitbags who refuse to work. There would be more than enough money to help those with mental illness if it wasn’t being siphoned off by the able bodied parasites that think they entitled to all the money that we work for. Not to mention, many mental cases either refuse to get help, or stop taking their meds at some point and spiral. If the state went around locking them up, the ACLU monkeys would start throwing shit and demanding more peanuts.
        Liberals create the problems and then demand more money for non solutions while putting the average person at risk.

        Had a nut case Democrat threaten to kill several co workers the other day because the cops ran her out of a park where were having an event. PD just let her go around screaming and ranting about getting her 9mm and shooting them. As usual, they were advised that they can’t do anything until she actually does something. But they have no problem jumping right on Whitey A Saxon for terroristic threats when they’re made.

        • Talisman
          May 26, 2017 at 3:13 pm

          Damn phone. New voice recognition sucks right now.

          *think they’re entitled
          *where we were

      • LocalYokel
        May 26, 2017 at 5:53 pm

        You realize that one of the largest, not-for-profit mental health associations IN THE STATE – North Suffolk Mental Health Association is on Broadway in Chelsea, less than a mile and a half from where this scumturd lived checked out? NSMHA exists specifically to cater to people like this, who need help and can’t get it. He could have walked in any day and received treatment, for free. Unless of course he had already been there and acted like an aggro dickwad, which might have been a possibility. NSMHA received close to $8M funding from the Federal and State Gov’t in 2016.

      • maybetruebut
        May 27, 2017 at 11:45 pm

        Domestic violence is a pretty big problem too.

        Apparently co-dependency is also a problem…I don’t see too many of the family members writing about how sorry they are that they didn’t try to get him the “help he didn’t get.” Nope, according to him he was a stand up guy, nothing to see here.

      • Jackell
        May 29, 2017 at 11:06 am

        They can start by selling that motorcycle, By the way, if he was actually Puerto Rican his country is this country! Just think of all the money he would have saved not spending $100.00 per week manscaping !

    • itsjustme
      Itsjustme
      May 26, 2017 at 1:52 pm

      Don’t you know, everyone that dies is always “the best person that every lived, could bring a smile to every person they met, never met a stranger, always kept the family together, helped anyone that needed help, etc. etc?”

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