All-Star Criminals

Chicopee Chudhole Busted For 5th DUI Has Twitter Bio Picture Of Him Drinking Open Beer In Car, I Remember My First Beer Too

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MassliveA 30-year-old Chicopee man denied a charge of operating under the influence of alcohol, fifth offense, Thursday in Hampden Superior Court. Chet L. Lokey Jr. also denied charges of reckless operation of a motor vehicle and driving while his license was suspended for operating under the influence of alcohol. The three charges are from Oct. 12, 2017, in Palmer. Assistant Superior Court Clerk Michael Sarnacki adopted the recommendation from the prosecution and ordered Lokey released on his own recognizance. Lokey must remain alcohol and drug free, have random screens, not use a motor vehicle and be outfitted with a Sobrietor, a portable device that tests a subject’s alcohol consumption. According to the indictment, Lokey’s previous convictions for driving under the influence of alcohol were in 2015, two in 2014 and one in 2008.

Oh good, they realized a 30 year old, five time DUI drunk of the week back into the public without any bail. He seems responsible and clearly has learned his lesson.

#CheersBitches

This was his Twitter profile picture before the Internet found it and he shut it down:

I remember my first beer. Luckily I was smart enough not to document it inside of a moving vehicle. I also wasn’t 30 with 5 DUI’s tucked in my g-string.

Did I mention he’s a father too?

Seems like a great Dad. Out there, pounding Bud Heavies and driving around trying to kill people. I think Daddy might have an alcohol problem….

But at least he wasn’t smoking weed. That’s bad for you.

Of course the real crime here is that someone decided to name him Chet. Chet Jr. actually, which makes it even worse. It’s bad enough that Grandpa got cursed with a name that sounds like a reject country singer. You know he’s a dickhead because he forced it upon his child too.

Hey Chet, I got news for you – you’re not good at drinking and driving. Some people have it down to an art. They do it on the regular and manage to never get caught. Not you though. You’d think that after your fourth DUI you’d hang it up, because quite frankly you’re just bad at it. But fifth time’s a charm I suppose.

According to his Facebook page he either works for or owns CL Construction out of Ludlow, which would make sense since those are his initials. But yet nothing is listed under that name as a registered company with the Secretary of State’s Office.

Anyway, I’ve never gotten a DUI so I’m not up to date on the current laws. But I’m pretty sure that after your second or third DUI there’s some mandatory jail time in there. I’d say that they should take his license away, but I think we can all agree that would be about useful as dropping rubbers from a helicopter over Holyoke, or declaring Springfield a gun free zone. Here’s an idea – send this asshole to jail for a few years. Because clearly Chet here thinks he’s indestructible, and I could really care less if he drives off a bridge into the Connecticut River. But it would be really tragic if it takes him actually killing an innocent person who matters before justice is finally served.

12 Comment(s)
  • MGH Whackers Stink
    April 11, 2018 at 10:20 pm

    I was once in a drunk driving accident after I hammered down beers and drove. They carted my ass to Mass General. I almost got away with it all but some swarthy little meatball of a security guard overheard me murmuring drunkenly, “I did it, oh f*** me.” He then told the MSP that I did it and I guess that was enough evidence. Jail was good for me and I didn’t get cornholed but man,
    oh man, I’ll never trust security whacker fools again. I guess the point is SCREW SECURITY and don’t drink Natty Ice while driving. Not worth it.

    • NR
      April 11, 2018 at 10:32 pm

      Gee, such pity I feel for you driving drunk and talking shit to the “swarthy little meatball” security guard. Hey Sparky! How about not driving drunk!! What a concept, I know. Luckily for you no innocent people were killed THIS time. I’m sure there’s more to come. It’s always someone else’s fault. Fuck you.

  • Dick N Thamud
    April 9, 2018 at 9:53 pm

    What a friggin shadroole, 30 yr old man in a hoodie and token douchebag goatee that went out of fashion on white guys about 18 years ago.

    • Sloppy
      April 10, 2018 at 8:29 am

      When he does his 2 1/2 mandatory on his 2nd felony DUI, that won’t be called a “goatee” anymore, it will be a “Prison Pussy”.

  • TJB
    April 9, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    This Schmuck will probably cause a horrible accident and kill a family. And he will probably survive.

  • NR
    April 9, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Oh yeah, he’s driving without a license and nothing is going to stop that until he kills people and is thrown in jail. What a great dad too. Really need to adopt the 3 strikes rule here.

  • ElJefe72
    April 9, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    Guarantee you that he’ll be back in the news again in a few weeks or months for the same thing. The dude is an alcoholic and a suspended license isn’t going to stop him. 

  • Captain Trips
    April 9, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    You won’t find it under CL Construction

    That’s just the abbreviation of
    Cirrhosis of the Liver Construction

  • TurtleBoy Editing Staff
    April 9, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    They released a 30 year old is how it should read.
    Not They realized a 30 year old.

    • Richard Cranium
      April 9, 2018 at 11:57 pm

      YAY!!!! The spelling police are here!!!

  • tomfromsaugus
    April 9, 2018 at 2:34 pm

    he’ll be back on the road by the weekend

    • Captain Trips
      April 9, 2018 at 3:28 pm

      Probably driving to the packy right now

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