Closeted Ware Cross Dresser Kevin Blackmer Is Back With Walmart Shoplifting Arrest And Foul Mouthed GF Who Might Be A 16 Year Old Aspiring Prostitute
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
Back in July we blogged about this Ware dooshcanoe named Kevin Blackmer, who for whatever reason thought it would be wise to share his thoughts on the 49 gay people who were massacred at the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando:
Kevin Blackmer is your typical “never leaving Ware” bag of flaccid penises, who loves rocking the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat and posing for bathroom selfies his hero – the guy who shot up the nightclub in Orlando:
We also discovered that his hoodrat nickname is “Street Sweeper,” because apparently sanitation work is all the rage in the hood right now:
He also claims to be a hitman for hire:
But business is bad because he tends to get his ass beat a lot:
Doesn’t stop him from threatening to murder pretty much anyone within a 10 mile radius of the Ware River:
But despite the rugged exterior, it turns out Kevin Blackmer was nothing but a punk ass snitch the whole time. Ya see, when he was 17 he was caught at a bar in Ware that was doubling as an illegal strip club. But instead of manning up and admitting he was somewhere he shouldn’t have been, Kevin ran home and told Mommy that he was “lured” there, they shoved liquor down his throat, and forced him to watch the Ware GED express shove their fupasloths in his face:
“Two people also testified about their complaints, including former neighbor Tammy Butler, who said her then-17-year-old son was served alcohol and spent $700 at the bar in September. He was saving the money to buy a car, she said. Her son, Kevin Blackmer, now 18, testified he was “lured” into the bar and was served liquor although he felt uncomfortable because he was underage and drinking. While he said he never saw nudity, he said he did see “a few girls making out.”
Then in the least surprising turn of events ever it was revealed that Kevin Blackmer has an affinity for women’s panties. Not just smelling them, or selling them on the Internet like a normal pervert. He likes modeling them for his fans on social media:
Anyway, Kevin was laying low for a while, but we knew it was only a matter of time until he ended up back on the Ware PD Facebook page. Because of course the Street Sweeper has active warrants out for his arrest, and it just so happens then when the cops saw him and went to arrest him, he just so happened to be actively shoplifting at the Ware Walmart:
Because odds are if you were to ever ask yourself, “I wonder what Kevin Blackmer is doing right now,” odds are the answer will be “shoving spatulas in his JNCO’s at the Ware Wal-Mart.
We also found out that he’s still a closeted homosexual man, pretending to be hetero by being as homophobic as possible, because he’s got a new girlfriend:
And he’s got Gabbi Hebert-esque tendencies whenever another guy compliments her on her latest bathroom selfie:
And she’s very defensive of ANY cunt that runs their mouth about the Street Sweeper, and she’ll kick your ass it you don’t come correct:
Except most of her friends seem to agree, she’s hitching her wagon to the most infamous failed abortion of all time:
Oh, and according to a source who messaged us – she’s 16:
And according to some of Tori’s recent Facebook posts, these allegations seem to hold some water:
So yea, we knew Kevin Blackmer would be back on Turtleboy eventually. But getting caught with sticky fingers at the Ware Wal-Mart and banging a 16 year old aspiring
prostitute escort who vociferously defends his honor on the Facebook machine is even more glorious than we could’ve imagined.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.