Closeted Ware Cross Dresser Kevin Blackmer Is Back With Walmart Shoplifting Arrest And Foul Mouthed GF Who Might Be A 16 Year Old Aspiring Prostitute

Closeted Ware Cross Dresser Kevin Blackmer Is Back With Walmart Shoplifting Arrest And Foul Mouthed GF Who Might Be A 16 Year Old Aspiring Prostitute

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Back in July we blogged about this Ware dooshcanoe named Kevin Blackmer, who for whatever reason thought it would be wise to share his thoughts on the 49 gay people who were massacred at the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando:



Kevin Blackmer is your typical “never leaving Ware” bag of flaccid penises, who loves rocking the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat and posing for bathroom selfies his hero – the guy who shot up the nightclub in Orlando:

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We also discovered that his hoodrat nickname is “Street Sweeper,” because apparently sanitation work is all the rage in the hood right now:


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He also claims to be a hitman for hire:


But business is bad because he tends to get his ass beat a lot:


Doesn’t stop him from threatening to murder pretty much anyone within a 10 mile radius of the Ware River:

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But despite the rugged exterior, it turns out Kevin Blackmer was nothing but a punk ass snitch the whole time. Ya see, when he was 17 he was caught at a bar in Ware that was doubling as an illegal strip club. But instead of manning up and admitting he was somewhere he shouldn’t have been, Kevin ran home and told Mommy that he was “lured” there, they shoved liquor down his throat, and forced him to watch the Ware GED express shove their fupasloths in his face:

“Two people also testified about their complaints, including former neighbor Tammy Butler, who said her then-17-year-old son was served alcohol and spent $700 at the bar in September. He was saving the money to buy a car, she said. Her son, Kevin Blackmer, now 18, testified he was “lured” into the bar and was served liquor although he felt uncomfortable because he was underage and drinking. While he said he never saw nudity, he said he did see “a few girls making out.”

Then in the least surprising turn of events ever it was revealed that Kevin Blackmer has an affinity for women’s panties. Not just smelling them, or selling them on the Internet like a normal pervert. He likes modeling them for his fans on social media:

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Anyway, Kevin was laying low for a while, but we knew it was only a matter of time until he ended up back on the Ware PD Facebook page. Because of course the Street Sweeper has active warrants out for his arrest, and it just so happens then when the cops saw him and went to arrest him, he just so happened to be actively shoplifting at the Ware Walmart:

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Because odds are if you were to ever ask yourself, “I wonder what Kevin Blackmer is doing right now,” odds are the answer will be “shoving spatulas in his JNCO’s at the Ware Wal-Mart.

We also found out that he’s still a closeted homosexual man, pretending to be hetero by being as homophobic as possible, because he’s got a new girlfriend:

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And he’s got Gabbi Hebert-esque tendencies whenever another guy compliments her on her latest bathroom selfie:

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And she’s very defensive of ANY cunt that runs their mouth about the Street Sweeper, and she’ll kick your ass it you don’t come correct:

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Except most of her friends seem to agree, she’s hitching her wagon to the most infamous failed abortion of all time:

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Oh, and according to a source who messaged us – she’s 16:

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And according to some of Tori’s recent Facebook posts, these allegations seem to hold some water:

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So yea, we knew Kevin Blackmer would be back on Turtleboy eventually. But getting caught with sticky fingers at the Ware Wal-Mart and banging a 16 year old aspiring prostitute escort who vociferously defends his honor on the Facebook machine is even more glorious than we could’ve imagined.


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33 Comment(s)
  • truthurts
    April 25, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    She is jailbait, correct? Why isnt this fuck in jail?

  • Stk3
    April 23, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Tori get your ass into rehab. Look at yourself, where the hell do you think your going to be in five years????? PS….. Your bf is a freak show.

  • Luke
    April 21, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    I’m kevin’s brother. A few months back we got in a fight and I split his brow and mad him cry. I’m not a big guy, but this guy sucks at fighting. Glad to have done you all a service 🙂

    Hope he stays in for a while!

  • Chip Striker
    April 20, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    These two reproduce and we have a bracket buster.

  • Noneya
    April 20, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Oh and what?? You haven’t heard?? He’s also a psychic medium…texted my friend who just lost her fiancé of 12 years…telling her some bullshit about how her man came to him to get him a message to give to her….she was heartbroken and sad and lost for a ling time and only meet KB a handful of times and this is what he does….tells her that her dead fiancé is coming to him..that he’s a powerful medium..and this is the best part that he was told by her dead fiancé that it was ok to help heal her through PHYSICAL TOUCH!! LOL yea I wonder exactly what parts he needs to touch to commune with the dead!! Guys a real piece of shit to prey on someone who just lost the love of there life!

    • Madcow not Rachel
      April 21, 2017 at 9:22 am

      “He’s also a psychic medium…texted my friend who just lost her fiancé of 12 years…”

      Sorry to break the news but yer friend was NEVER gonna get hitched……..unless it was to a pole.

  • itsjustme
    April 20, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    He’s only 24? Gross, he has more hair on his big gut than his head.

  • Jay
    April 20, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    Kb is a pussy always has been aoways will bbe he is a paedophile he will not change gotnhis ass whoopped a fee time for ficking a 14 yr old girl from ware no names but wen he tried passing those so.called aides he dont got” cough cough ” fucking liar a friend of mine and me both layed thay stupid bitch straight oit infront of brucos in ware cops picked his ass up n to scary lane he went he has personally called me out 2 time ti fight and as u can guess no show lil bitch ass … so o found him he locked his ass in an apartment in highland i hope his lil ” escort ” learns and gets the fuck away while she can cause he will get her ass beat tonsave his own ass …. heres to turtleboy for keeping this asshole in the lime light for pussy fagot wana bees. Of any. Body is wondering i go by WV .. I LIVE IN WARE AMD AMSWER TO JAY…

    • Kevin Blackmer
      April 20, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      As you can see from my facebook profile, I’m A Bonafide Hustler & A Self Made Entrepreneur. I Will Never Back Down From Anyone Or Anything. took two of you to lay me down…what was that? some kind of threesome?

    • Jules Winnfield
      April 20, 2017 at 1:32 pm

      English motherfucker, do you speak it?

    April 20, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    Turtlebitch is at it again. Posting pics of underage kids. You are a bunch of grimy sick old men.

    • Kevin Lynch
      April 20, 2017 at 1:16 pm

      PS… Please stop posting pictures of underage girls. Post more underage boys. Preferably in Little League uniforms, Cub Scouts uniforms, little sailor suits and bathing suits. Thanks!

  • Nichole
    April 20, 2017 at 11:13 am

    This dumb hoe is a home wrecker too dont forget that!
    Talk all that shit and didn’t wanna square up. Good thing i didnt apparently shes a fucking toddler.

    • Kevin Blackmer
      April 20, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      so much gorgeous. words can not explain all your beauty. if things don’t work out between me and my baby girl, hit me up baby girl. Street Sweeper out!

  • Turtlehead
    Your name here*
    April 20, 2017 at 9:00 am

    This is easily your best work ever. I am not really pro or anti gay….I say live and let live. They aren’t affecting my life so god bless em…but when someone like him, who posts such hateful, vile things about that community, absolutely deserved to be outed like that. I hope to God he sees this article and responds to it.

  • Dangerzone
    April 20, 2017 at 8:40 am

    Obviously inbreeding in a small insulated town.

  • mystressovmayhem
    April 20, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Shit guess the “extermination” business ain’t what it used to be! First of all no self respecting “killa” needs a 16 year old, they at least generally get something their own age and hot. We girlies like a little badass in our guys, “badass” not fatass. Second of all I see a severe doughage problem here. I’ve seen Casino like 8 million times! lol Joe Pesci could’ve bought and sold this little skank tartlet a billion times. He didn’t need to be shoplifting at Walmart, and if he had a chick she at least got clothes from Macy’s! And better still, when he went to buy his own matching bra and panties from Victoria’s Secret he coulda picked one up for his girlie too. When you can’t even afford the dollar menu, you ain’t no killa. You just a broke ass, Chester garbage man.

  • Kevin Blackmer
    April 20, 2017 at 7:15 am

    *writes TBS on a bullet* Leave my baby girl out of this

    • Timothy Bizznelli
      April 20, 2017 at 8:51 am

      Hey there pervert. I am sure those pictures of yours will come back to – quite literally – bite you in the @$$ when you inevitably wind up on the inside of a jail.

      • Kevin Blackmer
        April 20, 2017 at 9:26 am

        who doesn’t like gettin’ bit in the @$$? c’ all know you’ve posed for pics like that. I’m not the only one. where’s my boy Bob’n My Mic. I know he’s into that sh!t.

        • R-Man MiddlesexBro
          April 20, 2017 at 2:08 pm

          Watch yourself, young freakazoid grasshopper.

    • S.R.R
      April 20, 2017 at 10:09 am

      Have you No shame? You ACTUALLY Threaten Turtle boy on TBS? Truly you are the slimy shit covered slug king of all of the other warerites that wallow in the cesspool that is Ware. Stealing spatulas from Walmart, Celebrating the murders of 49 human beings at Pulse night club because you are envious that they had the testicular fortitude to come out of the closet which judging from your selfies in ladies panties you are lacking more than testicles, but the real icing on the shit cake that is your 25 year old hairy ass is that you are screwing a16 year old the last time I checked there was a law against that, but the fact remains Tori may be a junkie and a whore but she’s under age and your doing more harm to her than any caused by this story sure odds are she will never change just continue to hang out in the park and the ware ghetto encompassing the area between Aspen street thru Otis ave. and growing steadily, whoreing out with her other hoe friends getting stoned all day eventually becoming just another statistic of the heroin epidemic that’s guaranteed if she stays with you, but without a 25 year old chudstuffer as her boyfriend there may be hope for Tori.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    April 20, 2017 at 1:50 am

    The Street Sweeper and the Street Walker… a match made in Ware!

  • EmfnT
    April 20, 2017 at 12:21 am

    You shouldn’t talk so mean about Kevin, lest you be blamed for his suicide when it eventually happens.

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      April 20, 2017 at 1:10 am

      The taxpayers aren’t that lucky

  • Troubled Nostrils
    April 20, 2017 at 12:03 am

    Eww, I wouldn’t fuck her with Kevin Blackmer’s dick!

    • EmfnT
      April 20, 2017 at 12:20 am

      Yes you would…

  • Wabbitt
    April 19, 2017 at 11:29 pm

    Trust me – she’s a prostitute. Escorts are much higher class and don’t tend to suck cock for heroin money.

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      April 20, 2017 at 1:10 am

      Escorts usually don’t have a gunt hanging out over their $10 Wal-Mart jeans…

  • Publius
    April 19, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Going to file an internet lawsuit against TBS for not providing a trigger warning. Been through Ware. Never stopped. Are these the creatures of Ware one would see in Ware?

  • Chuck Testa
    April 19, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    This is the best one yet :^)

    • ----
      April 19, 2017 at 11:16 pm

      Give shit to as many adults as you want, but you really gotta chill on targeting minors. It’s not funny or cool.

      • ---- is a loser
        April 20, 2017 at 10:15 am

        Fuck off loser

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