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Editor’s Note: This is a reblog without images we used from the previous blog because one of our bloggers is a maroon.
Turtlegram and Gazette: A 46-year-old man was arrested Friday and accused of stealing seven manhole covers from town roads earlier in the week. Darrin P. Lavallee, 34 Market St., Apt. 2, faces charges of larceny in connection with the theft.
The alleged thief was apparently thoughtful enough to put traffic cones in place of the heavy-duty covers in an attempt to minimize the danger to motorists Wednesday, police said. Because of the “brazen, daylight crime,” Lt. Tobby Wheeler said, authorities believed the thefts were committed by someone with an addiction.
“But we also knew they had somewhat of a conscience because they put cones out, versus leaving an open hole in the roadway,” he said.
Police recovered the manhole covers from F&D Salvage in Millbury, where the suspect sold them Wednesday.
This is the most Webster story I’ve ever heard. I gotta hand it to him though – he’s the most thoughtful, respectful junkbox we’ve ever profiled. Dude was driving around with a car full of cones. Because he really wanted those manhole covers, he just didn’t want an innocent person to get hurt because of it. The best part is how he did it in broad daylight too. In other words, he ran out of fucks to give when Mario’s Showplace was still the Fuzzy Grape.
Seriously though, this is dedication to the disease. Those manhole covers are no joke. Couple hundred pounds a piece. And he did it all by himself on pure junkbox adrenaline. This man is a force to be reckoned with during the Festivus feats of strength.
Here’s my question – why is the salvage yard in Millbury getting away with this? If poopface McGee hadn’t told the cops where he sold them they never would’ve found them. How is it legal for a scrap yard to buy stolen property that belongs to the city? If some guy shows up in your lot with manhole covers, that should be a red flag. Because it’s not normal to have manhole covers for sale. Ya know, because they belong to municipalities, not chinstrapped chudstuffers.
I honestly hope he gets help. The fact that he cared about other people enough to put cones up tells me that at his core he’s a decent human being. Plus he’s got multiple Facebook pages and there wasn’t a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat in sight. Just gotta get a cure for that “disease” and he can get back to selling food stamps on Facebook like a normal Websterite.