All-Star Criminals

Crackaroni and Sleaze Tries To Outrun Wareham Cops After Shoplifting, Hits A Police Cruiser, Is Found Hiding In The Woods And Arrested On Drug Charges

This is classy lady is Tammi Denwood, of Randolph.


When she’s not busy posing as the hottest thing in streetwalker couture to ever hit the streets of whatever dope-ridden shithole she happens to be infesting for the month, Tammi with an “I” spends her time on enriching civic endeavors. Like lifting free shit from Rite Aid and then leading police on a chase/demolition derby combo before ultimately being found hiding out in the woods with a variety grab bag of drugs on her.

According to MassLive:

“Police responded to the Rite-Aid at Wareham Plaza around 2:09 p.m. Wednesday for a report of a shoplifting in progress. The shoplifter, later identified as 41-year-old Tammi L. Denwood, allegedly fled the lot in a blue Nissan driving erratically.

Police located the car within a few minutes in the parking lot of The Woods at Wareham apartment complex. After spotting the cruiser, authorities said Denwood put her car into reverse and backed into the police car at a high rate of speed.

The two cars became hung up on each other momentarily, but Denwood was able to free her car and speed off, the department said.

Police found her car abandoned on Littleton Drive.

While multiple Wareham police officers were responding as backup, a sergeant was involved in a serious crash with his cruiser at the corner of Swifts Beach Road and Marion Road. The department said he was brought to the hospital with minor injuries.

Authorities set up a perimeter around the wooded area where Denwood abandoned her car and found her after an extensive search. She was placed her under arrest.

Detectives said they found her to be in possession of cocaine, crack cocaine, Suboxone and Gabapentin, as well as a digital scale and $921 in cash.

Police also said they recovered $28.66 in stolen items from Rite-Aid.

Denwood is facing a slew of charges and is expected to appear in Wareham District Court Thursday morning.”


Jesus Christ, that’s a hard 41.


That’s a double-bagger that requires a full round of immunizations after you just look at her too long. Holy fuck. Drugs are bad, mmkay? It’s all fun and games until you wake up looking like a raisinette in a wig. She’s lucky they found her in the woods when they did. Sure, jail sucks and all, but even 15 more minutes out in the wilderness and wildlife would be liable to start chewing on her because she looks like a discarded corpse.

That’s what a lifetime of smoking crack and crawling out of alleyways and fleabag motels will get you. And Tammi definitely appears to like crack, because if the arrest report has the words “crack cocaine” in it, there’s a fairly good change she’ll be there.  She was arrested for slinging crack out of the Starlight motel in Wareham in 1997. 

And then in 2007, this:

And now this. It’s like some sort of ancient Indian burial ground curse or some shit, except instead of all your dead pets burrowing up from the ground, even 10 years this thing re emerges,


Terrorizes the community a bit, and then ends up cuffed in the back of a cruiser and stuffed back into the hole from whence she came. Congratulations, Wareham, you survived another cycle. You’ll probably be seeing the crackhead cryptkeeper in another 10 years.




67 Comment(s)
  • Mattapandolphian
    July 30, 2019 at 2:44 am

    I was wondering why she was looking so hot and then I read that she’s from Randolph.
    That explains it. Randolph produces some mighty fine ladies.

  • Burn it alive
    July 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    She reminds me and looks like almost to the minute detail like those feral zombies on fallout 3. Yuck! Just incinerate it! It’s not worth our resources

  • SassySwede
    July 29, 2019 at 1:31 am

    \{-_-}/ That puss just melted my wine glass and shattered mirrors in each house all the way down the street… then my laptop threw itself in a bucket of disinfectant.

  • Paul Casale
    July 28, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    Jesus Christ Helena Christensen has hit rock bottom!

  • Natasha
    July 28, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    Why is she from Randolph and shoplifting in Wareham? What in the world.

  • gitty
    July 28, 2019 at 4:42 am

    If she was a lesbian Antifa whore, Bristol would be cheering her on.

    • trannygitty
      July 28, 2019 at 6:31 am

      You really want her to sit on your face, dontcha? hen pay up like the rest of her customers. A dollar fiffy..

  • Sounds like another Facebook loser just like Bret Killofaggot
    July 27, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    HA fuckhead

  • Y
    July 27, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    Not one article/blog all day?

  • Turtle Rider
    July 27, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Why didn’t the cops shoot her in the head a few dozen times? Oh yeah, Mass.

  • My Name Is Marty And I Am An Alcoholic
    July 27, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    This is the type we need and want in Boston. I have made it safe for junkies to shoot up in any building they want in Boston.

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      Mar tayyyyy Walsh aka mayor poopdick the homo
      July 28, 2019 at 4:00 am

      Hey buddy, you didnt know? I’m not only an alcoholic! If you remember correctly, I have never had a girlfriend or been in any type of relationship with a woman. Ask all the guys I’ve went to school with they will tell you, I have never had a girlfriend. Fuck dude guy, cat man, you didnt see my rainbow mayor sash I wore during the homo march? You couldn’t tell after all these years o have been the gay? Listen cup cake, they dont call me 1 term mayor poopdick for nothing!

      • My Name Is Marty And I Am An Alcoholic
        July 28, 2019 at 11:13 am

        I have already served for more than one term so I hate to dissppoint you. Also I have national inspirations so some things are better left unsaid.

  • David G. Oldaker
    July 27, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Turtle Boy was rude and insulting to the Andover School System and an aspiring country music singer from Andover. He attacked an accomplished respected man. To this end TB has burned his candle at both ends and his wick is now running out.

    • FOAD
      July 27, 2019 at 3:03 pm

      WTF? What’s that got to do with the subject of this blog? Are you referring to Smelly Shelly Berman? The diminutive-statured little Napolean who had ruined school systems in KY, OR and MA? The one who got rid of respected coaches because his crotch fruit wasn’t good enough to garner what daddy felt should have been more ice time? Or that really pathetic no-talent country singer and whiny dad who made up a lie about kids not eating on a team trip? The district sup. is a pussy, Nichols is a pussy, and YOU should just fuck off and die.

      • Wwy
        July 27, 2019 at 3:47 pm

        Conrad is dead. Chesna is dead. Why do you like ghosts so much? You must have gas in your Jew head.

        • FOAD
          July 27, 2019 at 8:22 pm

          You, too, can, as Dick Scratcher so eloquently says, be a lamb, and as I say, fuck off and die.

    • The Name Game
      July 27, 2019 at 8:30 pm

      Thankfully, there is not yet a law prohibiting disrespecting and insulting people, and in Andover, those guys mentioned, the epitome of bad, vindictive sports parents, are deserving of the Golden Toilet Brush Award. (TBS, you are hereby granted all rights to this award title, to use and modify as you see fit, no compensation requested or necessary.)

    • TB Staff
      July 27, 2019 at 10:51 pm

      Hey David, we now that Tammi is your kind of woman and you have advanced genital warts above the neck and below the waist.

  • Richyrich
    July 27, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    A train wreck. It’s too bad. I drove through downtown Rochester this morning and saw three women just like her, scratching at open sores on their faces, meth has hit it big time up here

    • tortoo boy
      July 27, 2019 at 5:40 pm

      I’d bang her in all available orifices. I need her so bad it’s drivin me mad.
      Bristol could you post some selfies

  • ncfoothillbilly
    July 27, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Why is this website putting trojans on peoples’ computers? Pushance is a trojan. For those of you with proper security, check for pushance and block it. Why do you have so many scripts/adware/malware/trojans, turtleboy?

  • Rattenfänger von Hameln
    July 27, 2019 at 11:16 am

    She’s like the pied piper but with cats.

  • Wee Willie
    July 27, 2019 at 9:39 am

    So she is the reason I smell fish when I drive through Wareham.

    • e.d.
      July 27, 2019 at 10:57 am

      Wareham has even uglier hookers than HolyJoke, if that were possible.

  • FOAD
    July 27, 2019 at 9:05 am

    “Crackeroni and cheese” (Haha, LOVE IT!) is a “shitstain on the underpants of society.”

    • Julie the Jarhead
      July 27, 2019 at 12:24 pm

      My fav is: “… looking like a raisinette in a wig.“

      • Stop Milking The System
        July 28, 2019 at 12:10 am

        We know working isn’t your favorite

        • Julie the Jarhead
          July 28, 2019 at 3:59 pm

          Ask anyone — “milking the system” takes a lot of work.

          • Well, No Shit
            July 29, 2019 at 4:01 pm

            100% disability from the VA, isn’t it? A cool $3300 a month for some bullshit claim.

            It must be PTSD from your tour of Almostnearabattlestan. Fucking REMF.

          • Julie the Jarhead
            July 30, 2019 at 9:47 am

            I prefer “Remington Ranger.”

  • Washashore
    July 27, 2019 at 9:00 am

    Wareham. They age in fucking dog years up there…

  • Ben Dover
    Bristol's Pistol
    July 27, 2019 at 8:51 am

    Another PSA from TB’s top shooter.

  • Mom’s Basement
    July 27, 2019 at 8:06 am

    She told me I was her first.

    • penile
      July 27, 2019 at 10:43 am

      Did you feel like you were tossing a hotdog down a hallway?

  • Stunt Penis
    July 27, 2019 at 6:12 am

    I guess she didnt get the memo to only shoplift in suffolk county, where rachel rollins won’t prosecute such “petty crimes”.

  • dowen0895
    David Owen
    July 27, 2019 at 4:14 am

    She also has the worst case of inoperable man-face that I have ever seen.

    That jaw is almost e perfect cuboid.

  • Flatch Youlence
    July 27, 2019 at 3:04 am

    Crackaroni and Sleaze? Lol! That’s terrific Bristol!

  • Shoot me up Smokey McCrack bag
    July 26, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    That’s what AIDS looks like when it starts progressing. 30 years of smoking rock and sticking pins in her arm. Starting to catch up, should have really just left her out there for another few weeks and she probably would have just died on her own, now she will be in lock up for a few years get healthy and come and do it all over again.

  • Andrew Dice Clay
    July 26, 2019 at 10:56 pm

    I fucked her. OHHH!!!

  • sukit
    July 26, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    Look at the lips on that bimbo. She could suck the bumper off your car never mind the chrome.

  • Francis Sidebottom
    July 26, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    Uncle turtle turd she is a trumper , thought you morons stuck together

    • FOAD
      July 26, 2019 at 9:01 pm

      Francis Turdbottom,

      Fuck off and die.

      • z
        July 26, 2019 at 9:22 pm

        Use them up while you can FOAD. When that word police bill in Boston passes, FOAD will be verbotten.

        You know Baker will sign it if it gets to his desk.

    • Zamfir
      July 27, 2019 at 8:16 am

      I say skin flautist not trumpeter.

      • Hugh Mungous
        July 27, 2019 at 5:03 pm

        So you were listening to Sean McDonough on the radio as well last night, his reference to Cher,Madonna and Zamfir was brilliant

  • z
    July 26, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    Wanna bet when she talks she sounds like she’s on her 10th path of unfiltered Luckys of the day?

  • Said Everyone
    July 26, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    She has an aroma coming through my computer screen I think she’s the maternal figure to some of our commenters

  • Hershey Highway
    July 26, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    • z
      July 26, 2019 at 8:31 pm

      Thank you for that public service announcement, Hershey!!

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      July 27, 2019 at 10:36 am

      She says she’s seen anal penetration with a bucket. Lordy!!

    • Ram's Bladder Cup
      July 27, 2019 at 11:47 am

      Wow, just… wow! So many things come to mind: TMI (to the MAX); I can’t unsee this; she seems HAPPY; finally, a good tutorial on reasons to avoid anal sex with a passion. The real lady bits are fine enough playthings, no need to explore THAT (what-is-supposed-to-be) one-way road.

    • Turd Reversalist
      July 30, 2019 at 2:38 am

      I guess this lady never heard of a pink sock.
      I have witnessed such an affliction butt that cums with being a professional.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ted Kennedy
    July 26, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    There ahh **urp** isn’t enough ahh Chivas in the **urp** ahh world that would ahh make that ahh *urp** beautiful !

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    July 26, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    Wtf is with Wareham? People getting run over by trains. Like where the hell do you put railroad tracks in fucking Wareham? Going like where? Marion? And it’s like a huge junkbox full of junk boxes.

  • Judge dread
    July 26, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    Ten to one she supports Lizy Warren and the Squad and enjoys drugs and child abuse. She def has the disease that’s been going around.

  • z
    July 26, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    • Andrew Dice Clay
      July 26, 2019 at 7:05 pm

      People who only use real cocaine are upstanding citizens these days. Alcohol and Pot go without saying.

      Gold Chain
      Powdered Co-Cain
      Night Club dance party

      Party hearty
      mag wheels, high heels
      mix tape
      never heard of vape

      Zippo lighter
      fist fighter
      disco sucks
      waiting for the bus

  • hartf811
    Dont knock
    July 26, 2019 at 4:02 pm

    But they take posed selfies like that don’t know that they are congealed oil sludge on legs. Even a dog is more self aware.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    July 26, 2019 at 3:51 pm

    She had over 900 bucks on her, and she stole 28 bucks worth of Rite Aid shit? She should be locked up just for being that fucking stupid.

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    July 26, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Woof! That thing needs to be locked up. This is the shit happening now…. They get off the heroin with Suboxone, need the gabapentin to be “Okay” when they sell said Suboxone, or for a little pick me up. I can bet that she attends a clinic that could give no flying fucks she’s smoking the rock, as long as she’s not popping dirty for that brown. SMH.

    Lock that thing up and throw the key in the bacteria ridden part of the Charles, to ensure the thing ain’t getting out. Fuck sakes.

    • Rival prostitute
      July 26, 2019 at 8:56 pm

      You’d know about the drugs. Or are you blowing Diego behind a dumpster in brockton for another reason?

    July 26, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    One thing I’ll never understand how stupid do you have to be to commit a crime while carrying drugs. I mean come on hide it under a rock close by at least when you get caught its a simple charge and your free in a few hrs if that….

    • Bath House Barry's America
      July 26, 2019 at 6:53 pm

      Your confusion is understandable bc your not a junkie. For a junkie carrying drugs is as normal as carrying change or keys is for you.

      You probably always have a few coins caught in the bottom of your pocket while for these shit-heads it’s normal to have some drugs, needless, razors, drug paraphernalia, other peoples cell phones or assorted unknown pills anywhere on their grimy body or in their clothing.

      If an anal suppository was on the floor bathroom stall floor in Dunks they would pick it up and swallow it smoke it or trade it.

      • .
        July 26, 2019 at 10:20 pm

        No stalls in DD.

  • bigdaddy
    July 26, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    41 in crackho years is like 75 in normal yeas

    • The Name Game
      July 26, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      Most 75 YO’s look a whole lot better than that Medusa Slammi Deadwood. That face looks like it was carved with a chipped chisel by a drunk art school dropout. She’s so ugly, the Easter Island moai would turn and run away.

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