All-Star Criminals

Cranston Crotch Maggots Pretend To Scan Their Groceries In Self Checkout Lane At Walmart, Don’t Realize They’re Being Recorded, Internet Makes Excuses For Them

Cranston Crotch Maggots Pretend To Scan Their Groceries In Self Checkout Lane At Walmart, Don’t Realize They’re Being Recorded, Internet Makes Excuses For Them

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Here’s a video out of Cranston of a local ratchet in her natural environment – Walmart. Except she forgot her wallet so she went through the self check out line and pretended to scan her items before putting them back in the cart. Unbeknownst to her there was some random chick recording the whole thing and uploading it to Facebook:

I’m genuinely shocked that neither of them are wearing pajama pants. It’s a Cranston miracle!!

Somehow this video has 1.4 million views and counting!! This is the kind of thing that gets millions of people to tune in. A random Cranston crotch maggot stealing groceries from a multi-billion dollar corporation.

She really thought she was slick though.

Looking around to make sure no one’s looking.

Good thing they don’t have cameras in Wal-mart. They obviously thought this one through.

She even had her partner in crime with her, whose job it was to take the groceries she was pretending to scan and bagging them:

My favorite part of the video was right here:

The woman in the scooter. So Wal-Mart it hurts. Nothing is more Wal-Mart than an abled bodied person who can easily walk up and down the aisles but instead expects you to move to the side as he or she comes through with the scooter. Wal-Mart is like Disney World except with way better prices.

Anyway, I’m never a fan of sharing the “find this guy who stole from Wal-Mart” posts, because I feel like no one does that when someone steals from a small business, so why should we help out a company that clearly doesn’t need our help? But there’s nothing wrong with someone throwing a video like this up on their page because it’s hilarious. It’s hilarious because the woman thinks she’s being wicked slick, but for some reason this chick was recording her the entire time. Not so slick after all.

But according to the Internet the person at fault wasn’t Wal-Mart or the husband and common law wife tag team duo, it was the fault of the woman taping them:

“One day your gunna record the wrong person and get laid the fuck down.”

Hardo alert!!

Don’t you dare be taping him committing his next felony!! Finna get smacked ho!!

Then there was this:

The Tishunda down unda!! I know right girl? Who can’t relate to this scheme. This is like page one in the ratchet playbook. Mind ya damn business foo!! What are the odds when we go to her Facebook page we will immediately find……

The dog filter. As if it was ever in doubt.

Oh, and it’s OK because Wal-Mart was just gonna throw that stuff out anyway, plus they “needed it”:

This is everything that is wrong with America today. We are bending over backwards to come up with excuses for ratchets instead of publicly shaming them like Turtleboy does.

Newsflash – the 2 liter of Pepsi was not expiring tomorrow:

Guaranteed they could’ve paid for that stuff, they just didn’t feel like it. Either that or they sold all the food stamps on Facebook and couldn’t wait for the first of the month to roll around.

It’s OK though, because you can steal food, you just can’t steal anything from electronics:

Newsflash – it is our business. When people steal from stores they jack up the prices to cover the costs. Because you know they’re not gonna take a loss on it. We are.

Anyone know who these winners are? If so, please tell me they have Facebook!!

51 Comment(s)
  • Local real local
    Local real local
    December 8, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Good morning boys and girls. Today’s lesson: i before e except after c. Yes, that old silly saying from grammar school.


    Also, pellicano. What an asshole!
    That is the face of the guy that gets tuned up and after the fight is finished, goes home and calls the police. He has the look of someone who has had man icing on his face before. He will be fine at Woonsocket lock up. Douchebag.

    Lastly, when did stealing anything become acceptable? My apologies to the Black and Hispanic ghetto scum that believes there are degrees of acceptable steals. That tells me you were taught that in your dirty welfare household. The fact the wronged party is a billion dollar corporation does not make the act right. Hey I’ve got a better idea, get your lazy, fat ass off the couch, get a job and buy what you want. I promise no one will bother you or call you a ebt roach turd.

  • Pelican Killer
    December 3, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    this is the main reason I go straight to the Turleboy page and not through Facebook, FB I populated by these jackoffs, And The Pelicanno Boy, I wish you would try to lay someone out!!

  • Vladimir PutInAss
    December 2, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    Vincenzo.. …. u should be roasted on tB for defending this ratchet bum! Who steals ? I work hard my money. This bitch should do same

  • Alex
    December 2, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    White people at Walmart? Down here in GA we call it NigMart. Not very many white people at our Walmarts.

  • Johnny Rocket
    December 2, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    So now stealing is justified ? Wow. Well, I thought Stansberry was nuts but guess not. There is a “jubilee” coming and it won’t be pretty. If you do not know what a “Jubilee” is, its an old process where ALL debts are forgiven nationwide and those with hefty retirement accounts and / or 401k accounts have that money taken from them to pay the others debts. Yeah, you heard it right. This crap proves the country has gone way past the point of no return.

  • Sloppy
    December 2, 2017 at 10:20 am

    The lady stealing the Walmart crap looks like a cross between Ron Howard and Sloth from The Goonies.

  • Ron Simmons
    December 2, 2017 at 10:04 am

    she lives right near me! I always see her walking away from the mall. Food or not, it’s stealing. I’m sure she’s on some type of assistance and was there on the 1st. Probably figured the commotion would distract loss prevention. Apparently it did.

  • TJB
    December 2, 2017 at 10:01 am

    How many rocks can you get for a frozen lasagna and a bag of lime Doritos? Ask doo-doo if she’s interested in a sliced ham and six packages of imitation crab meat.

  • RAID
    December 2, 2017 at 8:48 am

    Walmart is an alien ant trap for ratchets humans, spread the poison to your queen ratchets.

  • Independent Thinker
    December 2, 2017 at 8:00 am

    Stores need to get rid of self-service checkout stations. I refuse to use them and I even tell the store employees that eventually, these machines will take their jobs away from them. Some grocery stores are also getting rid of baggers by having a turn-style type of bagging system. I sure hope getting rid of a few minimum wage workers brings up their bottom line.

    Another thing that bothers me is constantly being asked to complete a survey every time you buy something, or even go into a restaurant chain. I have better things to do than to complete surveys. Unfortunately, a worker once confided in me that her job is on the line if she doesn’t get enough completed surveys. So there’s a lot of pressure on these workers these days. In BJ’s they are always trying to get me to purchase a more expensive membership. Again, they are under pressure to make membership sales. Eventually, as people get fed up with all of this, they will change their shopping habits and buy exclusively on-line.

    • Robot Overlord Watching You Human
      December 2, 2017 at 8:42 am

      you just figured this out?

      not sure if you’ve heard but Henry Ford has developed a new tech called the assembly line, my god what is going to happen, workers only build one part of a car not the entire car them self, preposterous I say!

      • Independent Thinker
        December 2, 2017 at 8:58 am

        Big difference between an assembly line to make a factory more efficient and having customers scan their orders. If you want me to scan my order, then give me a discount. Kind of like what happens at self-service gas stations.

        • Independent Thinker
          December 2, 2017 at 9:14 am

          Actually, if they truly want to automate the system and eliminate lines, they should install some type of device, similar to how they collect tolls on the Mass Pike. Once you pass through, everything in your cart is automatically scanned. Then you proceed to an area with pay stations, pay, and then take the cart out to your car and put everything in the car, directly from the cart, with no bags. It will also eliminate all theft. Instead, all they are doing is taking a paid job and having someone (the consumer) do it for free.

          • Too Tall Tim
            Too Tall Tim
            December 7, 2017 at 4:46 pm

            In recent years I’ve seen more than one article about a device that actually does that. You push the cart of items into a tunnel-like scanner. All items have the price on an ‘RF chip’ that gets detected by the scanner and all the item prices are added together almost instantaneously. There must be a reason why it hasn’t been put to actual use.

    • itsjustme
      December 2, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      Those surveys are a way for them to get your information and then sell it. I refuse to do them, just like I refuse to enter those random raffles at places when you don’t have to purchase a ticket to win.

  • Harold Dunne
    December 2, 2017 at 7:29 am

    I know that chick, we were going steady back in the day, her name is Freta Felcher but she cheated on me with some guy.

    • Johnny Rocket
      December 2, 2017 at 12:08 pm

      Bud, really ? So the old saying “ they are all 10’s at last call “ holds true ? Lol

  • Da G fo Genius!
    December 2, 2017 at 12:11 am

    Not likely a popular opinion here, but I’m torn. I never approve of stealing and cannot imagine feeling the need to steal myself, especially food. In fairness, Rhode Island is in a world of hurt! Their economy is in the toilet and their idiot governor is so busy supporting people who are here illegally that RI DSS stopped issuing foodstamps to needy families over a year ago! A lot of RI people are hurting bad, especially around the holidays. RI soup kitchens ran out of food after feeding about 100 people on Thanksgiving! That is complete bullshi! They need to do something, fast! By this is definitely so cringy and even embarassing to witness . . .

    • itsjustme
      December 2, 2017 at 11:31 pm

      Maybe if she was stealing enough for one meal but most of that is junk food, Pepsi, fruit punch, did you see any fruit and vegetables in that cart? Also you think her kids don’t get free lunch at school?
      Not to mention there is a million places around she can go to get help with free food. I see people suggesting city welfare for help all the time on here, I didn’t even know there was such a thing or difference from city and state welfare.

      • Joe Luke
        December 3, 2017 at 2:25 pm

        No, you don’t steal not even for one meal. This isn’t 1931. There are many many jobs out there and if she wasn’t a crook she could learn skills to make more. If it is too expensive in this area to live, than MOVE to somewhere you can afford. If she has no food than she needs to go GET A JOB. If and that is a big IF she really can’t work than she has many, many, many avenues to get food in this country that don’t involve stealing. PROSECUTE her for shoplifting (and make it painful and embarrassing as hell for her so her LAZY ass never ever forgets what SHE did) and ban her for life into going into the store. So tired of the laziness, and then the excuses made for these common criminals who are nothing more than drags on society. If there are no rules than we are all in trouble.

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    December 1, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    The worst part is they were probably faster than the real Walmart cashier.

  • RockLand Mike
    December 1, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    I work in retail. I make hourly wages, and I get hours based on sales. The way it works, every day my store has a goal, and when we don’t make it, the store tries to save money by cutting back on hours. They also remember this for next year, so you’re not only getting my hours cut next week, you’re also getting my hours cut next year. You think you’re stealing from a big company, but actually, you’re stealing from me.
    Now I can understand, times are tough, and you’re broke as a joke, so you steal Hamburger Helper, ground meat, and some Lunchables for your kids to bring to school, but these clowns were stealing a whole shopping cart worth groceries.
    So, while you’re taking whatever the hell you want, I’m the grown man in the break room eating a Lunchable.

    • Sad
      December 2, 2017 at 8:29 am

      I was brought up in a very loving home, but one thing that was always stressed to me was if I ever stoled anything, I would get my fingers snapped in half. Of course it was more a threat then something that would actually happen. But I didn’t steal and I was scared as hell to do it. Do you have any idea how many parents use their kids to steal for them? It’s sick. And it’s because you can’t say or do anything as a parent anymore. Then the thieves grow up and pass the skills down to their own children. Sad world.

      • Al Frankenraping
        December 2, 2017 at 8:45 am

        So that’s why you don’t have any fingers… interesting

  • itsjustme
    December 1, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    This really pisses me off, recently I bought a piece of luggage from walmart for a trip (it was a piece of shit and returned it already) and after I paid for it I put the receipt in my wallet where I keep all my receipts. Of course I didn’t put it at the end I had to throw it in the middle of a huge pile of receipts, because I have to pay for everything with my own money I keep all the receipts I get.
    So I’m walking out with my several bags and luggage (I spent almost $300 that day) and this 90 year old greeter stopped and asked to see my receipt. Takes me five minutes to find it among all the receipts I have, and then she takes another 3-5 minutes just looking at it trying to find it. In the meantime I see three people walk out with electronics and other items far more expensive than my crap suitcase. One guy even had a big screen TV.
    Finally I point it out to her on the receipt and she says “it has to be more expensive than $12” and I say “it was, I paid $49 it’s below the $12 item.” She still says she can’t see it, I point it out again, and finally she sees it but claims that isn’t the luggage. By now I’m getting annoyed. I have a flight to catch in a few hours and I haven’t even started packing. I finally say” I’m not going item by item with you so you can make sure I paid for this, don’t you have a scanner thing? ” Sure enough she did, right there next to her and she scans it to see it was $49 and I wasted 15 minutes.
    Before I leave I try to say as nice as possible since she is old, dumb, but still old that I can’t believe I just wasted 15 minutes and at least three people walked out with large electronics because she was hassling me. Then she says “no nobody walks out without me checking, that is why I stand here.” I said, “I just saw with my own eyes three people do it because you were so confused and concerned about this suitcase.” She still didn’t get it and insisted she checks everyone so I gave up. God I hate Walmart.

    • 90 pounds
      December 2, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Omg!! Thank you, I don’t know what area you are from but, we may go to the same Wal-Mart!! Every time I go there I will not even put my receipt away because of the little skinny 90 year old lady who stops us and looks at everything in my entire cart. She goes in bags, and then checks under stuff lol, I know this is what they pay her to do but it can be annoying as all hell. But I wonder how she would stop someone who was really stealing? She really is this tiny little woman.. but she sure is a mean one.

      • Hmmm,
        December 2, 2017 at 8:21 am

        Dartmouth? I know I go thru hell with a little skinny lady with glasses. And like itsjustme said, she is going through my stuff while men with big screens walk out, but she states everyone stops with me? Really cause I’m thinking she only stops young to middle age woman, cause lots of guys walked right out. Poor thing couldn’t do anything if a guy wanted to steal a tv. She don’t even have a whistle to blow!

        • itsjustme
          December 2, 2017 at 11:17 pm

          Exactly. Same woman has stopped me before to check because I had toilet paper under the cart. Just like you im wondering what she would do if someone was stealing and refused to stop?

  • Knightsville Rules
    December 1, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    That Walmart is on the Cranston-Johnston line, and I’m betting they’re from Johnston. She’s got that “I can spot a guy in a Monte Carlo wearing a gold chain a thousand yards up Hartford Avenue” stare…

  • third grader
    December 1, 2017 at 8:32 pm


  • ElJefe72
    December 1, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    To be fair, I think the lady riding the scooter was a Walmart employee. Probably returning it back to the charging area because the idiots that used it before couldn’t be bothered to return it and just left it out in the parking lot.

    • Fair&Balanced
      December 1, 2017 at 8:17 pm

      This ain’t the place to show fairness. Get with the program, will ya?

    • itsjustme
      December 1, 2017 at 10:05 pm

      Thank you. I was just going to write that. I thought I was the only one who noticed she was an employee, someone with a job and nothing to do with this story.

  • Lisa
    December 1, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    Obviously the people who fault the lady who recorded this gem also steal from Walmart and that is why they see no issue with it.

    Don’t get me started on the able-obese bodied individuals riding scooters.

  • Sad story
    December 1, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    Great story. I was afraid for a minute you would write about Stan Rosenburg and how he and his gay husband have been making shady big $$ deals in a circle jerk of homo State legislators.

    I guess whats one more story about a meth head prostitute on welfare or a college SJW. Whatever happened to the teenagers who claimed to have eaten a bad lunch sandwich? Are you still going to fight the kids in court?

    I’m sure Stan has no skeletons in his closet just because he married a guy 30 yrs. younger than him Byron (Not that the name is gay and he’s accused of grabbing other mens junk) but this may be worthy of the TB graveyard.

    • Top turtle fan
      December 1, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Im gonna give em the benifit of doubt on Stanley and his boytoy for now. Im sure they are preparing and researching and fact checking it now. Patience.

  • whatevuh
    December 1, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    It’s Cranston, the armpit of RI would you expect anything less? The enablers in the comments are ratchets also, it’s obvious, two bit hardo’s, little black ho’s what do you expect from people like them?

  • Honest Ginger
    December 1, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    The Wal-Mart on 138 in Raynham has cameras at each self checkout, plus 1-2 staff working in that area.

  • Feeding the dealer
    December 1, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    there are to many places to get help with food. No reason to steal it. Because it’s food doesn’t mean it’s okay. Drug dealers take food too ya know. Bring a big pork loin and some steaks and your walking out with a 40. At least they could use that excuse lmao

    • Druggies
      December 1, 2017 at 7:58 pm

      Lots of addicts rob the grocery store to trade for drugs. That’s why the tide detergent and other decent kind have security tags on them, and the razors. Dealers will trade drugs for house hold items. They probably stole it for drugs which at least explains why someone would do something as sleazy as steal food. Must be proud

  • JoeMomma
    December 1, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    There is no Walmart in Cranston.

    • Bob Haskins
      December 1, 2017 at 6:39 pm

      1776 Plainfield Pike

    • Know your state
      December 1, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      Yes there is a Wal-Mart in Cranston. It is on Plainfield Pike

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    December 1, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    I bet the doucherino who said the spiel about our society because they’re stealing food is pro communism. Much better off in Venezuela since there wouldn’t be any food to steal.

    • Keir Darcey
      December 1, 2017 at 5:58 pm

      I got a 10,000 Venezuelan bolivares note to show what $0.59 looks like but several months later it’s worth less than a dime. That’s okay, the Venezuelan government still insists it’s worth a thousand bucks, so I’ve got that going for me.

      • Oscar
        December 2, 2017 at 7:26 am

        $10,000 clams on one note, Nice! Browski…

        I have a similar lucrative option, collecting cans for 5 cents deposits but I found a place that pays 6 cents per can… suckers I’m laughing all the way to the bank!

        Peeps like you and me get ahead in life and everybody is jealous

  • I love Turtleboy
    December 1, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    “It was so Walmart it hurt” ahahhaha this was one of my favorite Turtleboy posts! It’s like you can get in my brain and say all the things I’m thinking. Much love to turtleboy for putting these ghetto, nasty fucks on blast!

  • Walter Cockkite
    December 1, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    Ginger Woman, no further questions.

    NASA could land a space explorer on that forehead but they would have to do it gingerly.

  • SatansGiantCock
    Heat Miser
    December 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    Two things I guarantee they didn’t steal; toothpaste and soap.

  • Mediocrity
    December 1, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Stores need to have more employees at the doors to check sales slips.

  • Johnny5
    December 1, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    wow those FB commenters are so fucked in the head

    99.9% chance these maggots spent their free gov’t money on drugs instead of food…that’s why they need to steal it

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