All-Star Criminals

Crossfit Crisco Brain Ignores And Lies To Delivery Company And Freetown Police After 84 Inch TV Mistakingly Gets Delivered To House, Unwisely Relies On Google For Legal Advice


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Last month there was a story in the news about some juice hound in Freetown who was arrested after a company delivered the wrong sized TV to his house. Instead of returning it he kept it and ended up getting arrested. Sounds like the guy got a pretty raw deal right? After all, if free stuff comes to my house I’m keeping it.

Except there’s more to the story. Way more. This is Nick Memmo:

YahooMemmo said that he originally bought and paid for a 74-inch flat-screen TV on Amazon, but when the 86-inch arrived, delivered by a third-party shipping company, he chose not to return the larger model. The police found it mounted on to his wall. “I looked into all the laws and said, ‘You know, it’s a scratch ticket. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose,’” he said, adding that “Amazon said I had nothing to worry about. I made no wrong decisions at that point. It’s not like I ran out of Walmart,’ he continued. ‘I didn’t set out looking for this.’ 

Fair. Except he forgot to point out some really important details….

The shipping company, however, disagrees. They allegedly made numerous calls to Memmo before they finally went to police. Several days before his arrest, police attempted to question Memmo. “I answered what questions I could without putting myself in jeopardy,” he said. “I said, ‘Do I need to hire an attorney?’ and they said I wasn’t under investigation at that point. They were just asking questions. I answered a lot of questions with ‘I don’t know’ just so I didn’t jeopardize myself.”

After Memmo realized the error, he says he went online to research whether he was within his legal rights to keep the larger television. He found a Federal Trade Commission website that read: ‘If you receive merchandise that you didn’t order, you have a legal right to keep it as a free gift.’  Though the website does say that, it is referring specifically to scams where dishonest companies send unsolicited merchandise and then demand payment. ‘I hung the TV with no fear in mind,’ he said, ‘because I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.’

Yea, it’s one thing if free stuff shows up at your house and you keep it. It’s another thing if the company calls you back, asks for it, and you’re like, “But I read on Legal Zoom that I don’t have to, so I’m an expert now.”

He also willfully lied about signing for the delivery, and continues to stick to his lie….

He has been vague about whether he signed for the mistaken delivery, and claims he doesn’t remember whether he was home when it arrived. ‘Even if he dropped 10 TVs at my door, I wouldn’t have noticed,’ Memmo said, explaining that he receives large deliveries constantly at his home. 

A police report says that Memmo claimed to know nothing about the TV and said that one of his employees, who are frequently at his home, had signed for it. The officers said they could clearly see a large television inside his home.

The shipping company claims that Memmo signed for the incorrect delivery, which Memmo disputes. He also said that he never informed them he was someone he is not. According to Freetown Police Department, they were informed by the delivery service that two televisions had been delivered and one was delivered by mistake. “The delivery service contacted police after several unsuccessful attempts to recover the television. Police then visited the residence where they spoke with the male in an effort to recover the television. Unfortunately, he refused to cooperate,” the FPD said.

Bro, the crossfit done fried yo brain. You signed for the TV, knowing it was the wrong one. You realized it right away which is why you researched whether or not you could keep it. The moment the delivery company and the cops called you up you should’ve realized the jig was up. Instead you persisted with your Legal Zoom, threw your “employees” (who for some reason live with you and your crotch fruits) under the bus, and ignored the police, hoping they’d get bored and forget about you. Sadly for you that’s not how this works:

‘Memmo clearly lies, refuses to answer his telephone and will likely lie about receiving a summons and will not show up to court,’ read an application requesting an arrest warrant. Memmo was shocked when the cops arrived early in the morning to raid his home. ‘They surrounded the house and knocked on the door with flash lights coming through all the windows,’ Memmo told Boston 25 News of his arrest. ‘They told me to come outside then handcuffed me.’

Yea, turns out the cops don’t like it when you treat like maroons.

Memmo is now facing jail time. He says if he knew he would be arrested, he would have paid for the larger TV or returned it. ‘I don’t even watch TV,’ Memmo said. ‘That’s the worst part of it.’ 

Almost like you should’ve spoken with an attorney instead of Googling “You Siri, can I keep this shit?”

So let this be a lesson to you all – if free shit shows up at your house, don’t get too attached to it. Cross your fingers and hope the company doesn’t want it back. If they do, just be happy you had a good run while it lasted. Whatever you do, don’t ignore them and the police and assume it will all go away.


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29 Comment(s)
  • Tvrecovery101
    April 20, 2019 at 2:05 pm
  • Mahky Mahk Ballbag
    April 18, 2019 at 6:02 pm

    I don’t know about any of that sh*t… but I still get off on Tarzan movies on my trusty old black and white. Some of those pre-roid body builders were pretty hot.

  • Well, No Shit
    April 18, 2019 at 11:27 am

    Another 30+ year old choade wearing a backwards hat.

    Automatic douchebag.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 18, 2019 at 10:53 am

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    April 18, 2019 at 10:47 am

    Freetown: Fall River’s Deliverance.

    I’m trying to wrap my brain around the fact that anything is worth watching on TV, let alone one THAT size. And failing.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 18, 2019 at 9:40 am

    This neanderthal’s girlfriend told me he was hung like a lightswitch.

    • Mahky Mahk Ballbag
      April 18, 2019 at 6:07 pm

      Yeah, but you should see him after he watches “Pumping Iron.” Lightswitch on and ready for business…

  • Buddlife
    April 18, 2019 at 9:22 am

    C’mon, yeah this is kind of a bullshit move, but its not that bad. not news worthy

    • Bob Saget
      April 18, 2019 at 9:55 am

      Guy you know this isn’t CNN right?

  • Randy Guy
    April 18, 2019 at 8:45 am

    My name is Randy
    I live on the second floor
    I live upstairs from you
    Guess you might’ve seen me before

    If you hear something late at night
    Some kind of trouble some kind of fight
    Just don’t ax me what it was
    Just done ax, what it was

    I guess Im doing okay
    My dad keeps me behind the dumpster all day
    But thats not your business

    • Bob Saget
      April 18, 2019 at 9:55 am

      Guy you know this isn’t CNN right?

      • Randall Guy
        April 18, 2019 at 3:42 pm

        Touch me where I pee. Pleassseee

  • Stunt Penis
    April 18, 2019 at 8:34 am

    I think there’s a better than even chance he walks on this.

    Unless the exterior of the box was clearly marked 84″ TV, the claim he doesn’t remember signing for it specifically holds water. 99% of the shit I get from amazon arrives in a non-descript box, and even if I sign for it, I have no idea what I’m signing for until I get inside and open it.

    Ultimately it will boil down to whether his attorney can successfully argue the technicality of the law. The definition of larceny in MGL is ” (1) Whoever steals, or with intent to defraud obtains by a false pretence, or whoever unlawfully, and with intent to steal or embezzle, converts, or secretes with intent to convert, the property of another as defined in this section, whether such property is or is not in his possession at the time of such conversion or secreting, shall be guilty of larceny”

    The devil in the details is intent. Can his lawyer argue he had no intent to defraud (he didn’t go out seeking to obtain an extra-large TV without paying for it)?

    If something is incorrectly delivered to your house, are you legally obligated to return it? Are you under any legal obligation to assist another person (in this case, with retrieving their misdelivered television?)

    Who the fuck needs an 86″ TV anyway?

    • WeRFucked
      April 19, 2019 at 6:02 pm

      A 5″ dick looks way bigger on an 84″ screen.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 18, 2019 at 8:23 am

    What a dickhead. 100% positive he’s a lousy fucking prick of a person

  • Greg Glassman
    April 18, 2019 at 8:05 am

    Going to jail over a foot long. When he’s in Bristol County Jail, he’ll probably receive another foot long when Jamal and Tyrone run a train on him

    • Jussie Smollett
      April 18, 2019 at 6:12 pm

      I don’t think he should be rewarded for his actions.

  • Independent Thinker
    April 18, 2019 at 7:52 am

    The guy sounds like a jerk. If it were me, I’d try to get it to the correct address, provided it was an address in my immediate neighborhood. Otherwise, I’d call or email the company to come and get it.

    Of course, if the company were to give me a hard time over it, such as telling me I need to bring it to the nearest UPS shipping center or bring it into my house to protect it from the weather, I’d simply put it out by the curb for the trash collector or for the local box thieves to take.

    Lately, I’ve had too many people come to my door (Amazon, pizza delivery) when I didn’t order anything. Perhaps they need to do a better job of identifying the property address instead of simply relying upon their GPS, which is often incorrect.

    • z
      April 18, 2019 at 10:02 am

      Amazon should probably have eaten it or cut him a real good discount on that size TV. The TV is now a used unit. There’s a cost involved in dragging it back to the warehouse and somehow selling it as a used unit. TVs that size need special handling. They have to be shipped in a vertical position, not laid down. Panels that big will sag.

      He’s in the wrong, but is it worth it economically to go after him? If there’s a trial will someone from Amazon have to appear in court? If so, there’s more money down the drain on that TV.

  • z
    April 18, 2019 at 7:49 am

    The theft is the price difference between the 2 sizes. In certain jurisdictions and certain amounts a prosecutor will not bother. It’s not just Massachusetts. It’s starting to be a trend in other sections of the country.

    • Boob-Tube
      April 18, 2019 at 10:59 am

      I agree that there are costs involved in order to “get back to zero” but there is more than just a 12” difference between those 2 units. An 85” class tv is almost 3x the cost of a 75” class. This dude knew exactly what went down and had he been delivered a 65” and could not get ahold of the retailer, you know damn well the cops would be called.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 18, 2019 at 7:39 am

    First there was Juicin’ Jeremy.

    Now we have Nandrolone Nick

  • Well, No Shit
    April 18, 2019 at 6:49 am

    Sleazy shitbird.

    Have fun with your new Google trophy over a fucking television. Brain dead dipshit.

  • Circuit City
    April 18, 2019 at 6:25 am

    This story is beneath you turtle, I mean who gives a fuck, guys a moron will get off by pleading that he didn’t understand what was going on, what a waste of time and money.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    April 18, 2019 at 6:01 am

    I saw this story when it aired on the news, It was obvious right then he was lying. On top of it all, one has to ask, “why not just pay the difference and be done with it? the answer is simple: he thought “bank error in my favor” except that really only works in Monopoly. The guy is a pea-brain. On top of that, he got bagged! tough shit buddy!

  • Mrs. Crabtree
    April 18, 2019 at 4:40 am

    Hey I am a huge fan of turtleboy. Call me a nudge or whatever you want, but you guys really need start editing your blogs. The near constant misspellings and grammatical errors are a real distraction from the usually very good journalism. You are a very popular blog, start acting like it.

    • Tryna be One of Us
      April 18, 2019 at 7:14 am

      You must be a new “huge fan of Turtleboy.” Because if you’d really been with us from the beginning, you’d understand about the spelling and grammar. Nudge off.

      • De(v)tails
        April 18, 2019 at 11:16 am

        Crabtree never claimed to ‘be there from the beginning’. But if you really read their post, you’d understand that too.

        Spelling and grammar is important. It communicates an attention to detail and an ounce of validation when calling others out who can’t spell ‘nuffin’.

    • randiguy2006
      Randall Guy
      April 18, 2019 at 2:04 pm

      You do realize this stuff is written by unemployed morons, right?

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