All-Star Criminals Podcasts

Cumpty Dumpty Says Marlboro Veteran She Robbed While He Was Getting His Legs Amputated Told Her She Could Break His Door Down To Get Dog Surgery Money


Cumpty Dumpty, the ratchet who robbed a veteran’s house 3 times with her boyfriend while the homeowner was getting his legs amputated due to a fire accident, and then started a fundraiser for boyfriend’s funeral just hours after he allegedly died next to her, is now using her dead boyfriend’s Facebook page to message turtle riders.

And she’s engaging in victim blaming too.

So just to review. She had a key to his house, but the key didn’t work so they had to kick the door in three times. The victim actually gave them permission to kick his door in and ransack his house because they needed money for their dog’s surgery, and he gave them permission to do so right after getting his leg amputated. Then someone else broke into the house after that except they weren’t seen on the surveillance video, and her lawyer doesn’t want her talking to the media.


She also came on the live show last night and she was every bit the trashbag you dreamed she would be. I had a lot to rant about tonight, including her, the Everett fake school shooting hoax, and responding to criticism about the $50 baby daddy in jail blog. Oh, and the freestyle came back at the end, and online critics say it was epic. Just sayin.



This episode of The Turtleboy Live show is brought to you by the good folks over at Garage Doors Plus in Quincy, and our new friends at APC Roofing in Charlton. Like APC Roofing in Charlton on Facebook by clicking here, and be automatically entered to win an Echo 250MPH leaf blower, Milwaukee drill kit, or golf bag.

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33 Comment(s)
  • You know who....
    November 28, 2019 at 12:06 am

    In the interest of justice, this young lady needs her shit stirred.
    Just to keep it interesting, she must call me by her dead boyfriend’s name during the act.

  • Dime Banger
    November 25, 2019 at 9:44 am

    WTF kind of pose is that squeezebag making in that gross header image?

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    November 25, 2019 at 9:01 am

    Ain’t gonna lie, I’d probably fuck her. Winter is a lonely time…..

  • Hippie tears
    November 25, 2019 at 8:28 am

    We need judge dread style road side executions on rodents like this. Always playing the victim and scumming their way through life. A junkie is not a victim, a junkie is just a junkie.

  • Josh AKA Bitch Tits
    November 25, 2019 at 1:07 am

    Nsncy Pelosi is ugly but her tits are gigantic and bogger than mine.

  • The End
    November 25, 2019 at 12:30 am

    Cumpty dumptey had a great fall.
    Cumpty dumpty swallowed it all.
    All the king horses and all the ki gs men fucked cumpty dumpty in the ass again and again.

  • Not buying any of it
    November 24, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    He has no family to fund the funeral, hence the go fund Me……….. But then the funeral is family only??????? Which is it bitch lol…………………

  • ChipChipperson
    November 24, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    Soon as I saw her fat face I knew I’d be reading some variation of “stupid ppl talkin shit without knowin full story b ignant”

  • Chico
    November 24, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    What language is this sperm gurgler speaking?

    • Learn English
      November 24, 2019 at 8:22 pm

      LOLOL…I was just going to say the same thing. I tried to understand what she wrote, but now, I have a headache.

  • Broilybroilyheart
    November 24, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    Come for dinner!! Careful of your heart I can here it sizzling. Eat up!

  • Metro West Guy
    November 24, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    Isn’t it amazing how some people will sink to a level of such sleaze and depravity so as to rob a gravely sick man while he’s in the hospital? I honestly can’t see how anyone can ever climb out of a pit like that and go on to live a life with any sense of purpose or positive influence on others. The odds are definitely against her – but here’s to hoping she actually makes it out one day.

  • Jeff J
    Unkle 2 Chains
    November 24, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    If you haven’t listened to the freestyle yet you should. It’s Fucking AWESOME!! It’s at the very end of the video.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ray Patriarca
    November 24, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    What a horrid cunt !
    Here’s hoping she dies a long, slow painful death.
    She could have just admitted she was a useless junkbox and apologized.
    But… No !
    Instead, she makes up a disgusting lie to cover for her junkbox behavior.
    This cunt couldn’t amount to a pimple on this man’s ass.
    Worthless, useless, disgusting cunt!
    I’m glad your asshole bf is dead.
    Please join him in Hell soon !

  • Cheddah
    November 24, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    I don’t think I’ve seen a more ratchety, fully flawed, awfully written response here on TB. Clearly high as fuck.. If only she could have had one more bag…

  • MrSmiley
    November 24, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Wishy they both took the same last ride. Christmas is coming maybe we’ll get lucky.

  • Lipstickhippie
    Lipstick Hippie
    November 24, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    I don’t know what’s worse…that pathetic story she’s telling, or the fact that she’s stupid enough to think someone might believe it.

  • Real_Finn
    November 24, 2019 at 12:01 pm

    Just wait a week or so – she’ll be joining her boyfriend soon enough (if we’re lucky #od). She doesn’t have to split the H anymore! Party time!!!

    I hope she chokes on her own vomit.

    Get Fucked,

    • foleyworld
      November 25, 2019 at 6:38 am

      Hey Finn, that was mean.

  • Russmo
    November 24, 2019 at 11:59 am

    What this story doesn’t tell is the fact that she’s also going to be charged with sexually abusing the Vets dog

    • ChipChipperson
      November 24, 2019 at 8:46 pm

      Yeah she also stole all the peanut butter in the house

      • It wasnt the peanut butter
        November 24, 2019 at 9:33 pm

        …that gave the dog E Coli.

  • bigdaddy
    November 24, 2019 at 11:54 am

    What fucking language is that ratchet speaking ? It sure aint English

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      November 25, 2019 at 3:52 am

      I think you mean “It certainly isn’t English” 🙂


    • Paul Krendler
      November 25, 2019 at 9:41 am

      Right? The only sentence that seemed to come out half-coherently was “aspirated in his sleep”. Which is ironic, because it’s way more PC of a cause of death than that shitbag deserves. She should have just said “choked on his own puke”.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 24, 2019 at 11:52 am

    So, an old vet, who is going to need every penny he can get because of his medical condition is going to give his shit away? Yes, Im sure thats exactly what happened.

  • Garcia Vega
    November 24, 2019 at 11:38 am

    People never learn to just shut the fuck up and let it blow over in a month, instead, they keep hitting back and their name stays out there. And of course, they look stupider and more of a liar with each post… She deserves what she gets! And we are supporting her! BTW, there’s no obituary for the asswipe….

  • Keep digging
    November 24, 2019 at 10:55 am

    When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Nonsensical, unbelievable attempted explanation. By the size of the hole she continues to dig for herself, she must be headed for China. A lifelong digging journey that she must have started at birth.

    • C. Dumpty (with my trusty shovel)
      November 24, 2019 at 11:50 am

      Not that you deserve an explanation, but yes he told us these things from within his coma. Sometimes he would come out of his coma and tell us things, and sometimes he would just communicate with us by putting his thoughts into our heads. These things were miracles, and you are cheapening them. All of this is your fault.
      He knew that the door sometimes stuck, and that the lock was hinky. He told us that it might a need a good swift kick to open it. He wanted us to get the surgery for our dogs, and the medications and heroin they would need after the surgery. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO BELIEVE?!
      Our lawyer doesn’t want us to talk about these things but I am telling you anyway because I don’t want you shitbags to call us shitbags. Nobody will donate to all my GoFundMe pages if they think I’m just scamming them. I need that money for the drugs, I mean, for the funeral.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 24, 2019 at 10:47 am

    I can’t even imagine how foul that broads gash must smell. Sickening

    • WeRFucked
      November 25, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Ask you sister.

      • Spic Tormentor
        November 25, 2019 at 12:35 pm

        Wow you really roasted me with that one, juan. Must have thought of that brilliant insult after a couple cerveza’s with your hombres

      • Spic Tormentor
        November 25, 2019 at 12:37 pm

        I understand that english isn’t your first language but learn how to spell and then get back to me

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